re_alignment | [Video]

[Crow appears on the feed, dressed in his festive...red nose. That's it. Times are tough in this economy kids and even someone like Crow's feeling the hurt. But that doesn't stop the holiday spirit!

Anyhow, Crow's ready to kick this thing into gear.]

Well the Christmas season's upon us again (or if you're a certain trashcan the less important and embarrassing holiday Lifeday). But some of you must be wondering: what is Christmas? And like most of you, those people live under a rock.

Let me explain: Christmas is a magical time, a time of jolly fat men in red suits, Coca-cola product placements, and using the emotions of your loved ones to get what you want! But most importantly, it's a time we gather round and remember the reason Christmas even exists: Patrick Swayze. Yes, he's the bouncer of Christmas, guarding the north pole from the Martian threat until Santa is ready to deliver his presents.

And so to honor the Christmas spirit of Swayze, I have a little carol to sing. Normally Tom would sing this, but bear with me--and sing along if you want!

And now: 'Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas'.

Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.
We'll gather at the Roadhouse with our next of kin.
And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing.
We'll decorate our barstools and gather round and sing.

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear!

It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my ba-ha-haar.
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.
I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will, ohh,

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.
And this can be the haziest...
This can be the laziest...
This can be the Swayziest
Christmas of them aaallllllllll!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is that . . . an American belief? Or something from Europe, maybe?

[Because it sure as /hell/ wasn't something from any Japanese tradtions. He's positive Yuuta would have told him about something like /that/.]

Yep a tradition from the Good Ol' U S of A.

Got it, comrade?

I see. I believe, so.

[He knew Americans had some oddball beliefs and customs sometimes, but...wow.]

But wait . . . must be a newer tradition? Patrick Swayze is the name of a Hollywood actor, isn't it? Or did the actor take a stage name from a figure in Christmas folklore?

[You'll have to forgive him, Crow. He's probably actually even younger than YOU are, and a fraction as genre-savvy.]

--hold the phone you actually know pieces of pop culture?!

[OH THANK GOD.]

And Patrick Swayzee is a new tradition! He's a huge part of Chistmas after all!

...I see.

[Not really, actually, but he doesn't want to be rude.]

I think it depends on who's pop culture. If you mean Earth human culture, then yes. At least some. I'm more familiar with Japan's pop culture than other parts of the world, but we do get a lot of influence from the United States.

Japan? You mean stuff like Sailor Moon and Gamera?

Essentially. I'm not up on many of the shows myself, but I know some of my teammates have their favorites that they try to watch when off-duty times allow.

Really? Is it like violent cartoon girls?

More like violent cartoon boys. Yu Yu Hakusho comes to mind. Hikaru no Go though that one's not violent . . . eh, Pokemon . . .

Pokemon? You mean that show with the things that say their name all the time?

Something like that. We think it's the other way around – they were named for the sounds they make – but none of us really knew for sure.