Hello! If you're seeing this, I'm maybe dead. Maybe assimilated. Maybe zombie-assimilated. Like a zomborg.
[The little girl is holding a a camera phone at an odd angle that might have been called the MySpace angle some time before her time. She's staring straight into the camera that is just a little too close and there's some dramatic lighting coming from below her face like she's holding a flashlight under her chin. Which she is. On her head is the most ridiculous hat that looks like a googly-eyed Rocket Raccoon with a tail sticking off the back.]
I've been abducted by alien robots! They're trying to make me into human stew to power their evil oppression machines!
[Someone has obviously seen too many horror movies or something. She's going all Blair Witch with this, though that's too old for her too, so maybe it's Cloverfield of Chronicle. Either way.]
I need a rescue, and fast. Call the Avengers or the X-Men or the Fantastic Four! Or whatever they're calling themselves today... But save me! The future of the planet Earth depends on it!
[She shakes the camera and turns off the light, leaving the screen black for a moment with some hard breathing before it shuts off. Obviously she doesn't realize this was broadcasting live.]