[McCoy looks very tired, has a five-o-clock shadow goin' on, and just... He looks like he woke up from a terrible nap. Which he has. And he keeps pushing down the annoying cowlick in his hair from said long nap. But either way, there's something definitely... off. And for a moment, he doesn't say anything. He just looks down, shuts his eyes, then back up, face serious again.]
Right. Sorry for my absence. I seemed to have fallen into a coma for a few days there. No biggy.
[And he's not about to disclose what
happened in the coma.]
Is everyone all right? Specifically you kids - yeah, how are you holding up? Can I get some sort of roll call, please? Did anyone go and get their arm blown off or... [He wants to say "die," but he just... nope, inappropriate timing.] Right. If anyone needs to see a doctor - you know, a human one - I'll be in Solus's clinic in about fifteen minutes.( [Locked to Solus Prime] )
Is this going to be like another Wizard of Oz thing? Where a monster storm suddenly appears, sucks us up, and spits us out into a different dimension? Oh, wait. [HUFF] Except got robots instead of Munchkins... [And he trails off in his mumbling, as he's putting some things together, only to snap immediately back into action.]
Right. For all the humans out there - is anyone injured? I've gathered some supplies in Solus's medbay 'til this thing blows over. [And he's not kidding - he's packed up quite a bit. And strangely in such quick time.] If it ever does, that is. I don't know what the Hell comes next, if anything, but I figure it can't be good. But if you've been wounded - let me know.
Kids - how are you holding up? Right now, your well being is my main priority. If I don't get some sort of response within the next ten minutes, I'll ping you each privately. If I still don't get any response, I'm gonna be making some house calls.
[It's a good thing he has all this energy! Speaking of which...] Anyone been feelin' a little... I don't know. Like they've just downed a pack of energy drinks, got souped up, and miraculously didn't experience any of the downfalls? I'd ask Solus myself, but given the situation right now, 'fraid I probably won't get any answers. [He looks to his glyph hidden beneath shirt sleeve.] Probably got somethin' to do with my tattoo going extra Christmas on me recently.
First, my condolences: I was unable to do much in regards to helping the wounded, given my limited expertise and knowledge of Cybertronian medicine and anatomy. I... hope I can be of some assistance next time. [He scowls and scrubs his face with a hand.] Because there will be a next time, given this Godforsaken place...
Yet, if there is anythin' I can do, you let me know. No hesitations. I'm not afraid to tell you if I can't do somethin' you want or need, but I'm damn willing to try and offer what I can.
But I know some of you who so happen to be relatively human should be seeing me or coming in for a check-up. [Rose? Zer0? HMMMM?]
Also, I wanted to make a couple notes. The timing may not be perfect, but I've been tending to a small garden and have managed to grow a few vegetables. I placed them in the pantry, but they won't last too long, so get 'em while they're still edible.
[Locked to Kay, Ventus, Miko, Cody, Sari, and two certain others]
How you kids doin'? I know it's been tough, but I'm glad you're all okay. Mind comin' around for a check-up soon? Or I can come to you. [It's not really a suggestion, more so, DO IT OKAY.]
I saved a couple bundles of the vegetables I harvested just for you guys. I can bring 'em to you. Got some carrots, squash, and tomatoes. ... Well, wait, tomatoes fruit or vegetable? Hell, whatever, it's food and it's good for you.
... And: Raf? Lyra? If you see this message, please respond. You got me worried, and that ain't good for my three billion ulcers. I've been lookin' around and haven't seen hide nor hair of you. Don't make me set a search party out. I'll do it in a damn heartbeat.
If any of you kids know where they may be, you let me know. I don't care if they told you not to tell, now's not the time for fun and games, ya hear?
[Locked to the police force and law committee]
I never did... apologize. For the losses you took. And this may not mean much, but I'm thankful ya'll did somethin'. That you got the bastards who did this. But as I'm hearin' and seein', people tend to come back alive when they die, so let's pray for a little Resurrection.
[Locked to Wreckers]
It's fair to thank you lot as well. Especially for not involving Miko.
[Locked to IDW Megatron]
Got a... Got a package here.
[He looks... HMM.]
Got your name on it.
It's full of... some interesting stuff. Poetry, recordings, lots of political documents and proposals.
I didn't read or listen to 'em, no worries. But I did read one poem, I ain't gonna lie.
Purple prose is usually frowned upon in the lit society, son.
[McCoy stands before the link holding a small pile of blankets. He looks mildly annoyed. He looks normal.]
So, is this technicolor dream tattoo going to be a constant thing, or is this uncommon? Seems not many people know the answer.
Anyway, that aside - I found a few blankets out in the Junkpile. Three total. If you need a blanket and you're under the age of eighteen, let me know. [Sorry, guys - kids come first.]
Speaking of which: Kay, Miko, Lyra, Ventus, Raf, Sari, Jack, Cody, and any of you youngsters I might have missed - how are you all holding up? Are you doing alright? Any of you feeling down or ill?( [Locked to Solus] )
[SUPER SERIOUS MCCOY HERE]
I'm not going to state the obvious, and how ridiculous this entire mess is. I'm not going to make this too long either. But now that many of you robots are human, or... dogs of some sort, you may have yourselves a few or a galaxy-load's worth of questions.
I am here to answer those questions, to the best of my abilities, as well as provide you with a document of basic human common sense.
I'm sure many of you Cybertronians are used to rock 'em and sock 'em sort of business, but unfortunately, as a human, your skin is not metal and your bones are not made from steel. If you are struck hard enough, you will not only be in pain, but you may break your skin, bruise it, or something more serious. You cannot consume oil or energon or gasoline, and you will find your body doing things that are either confusing or downright horrifying by your standards. But instead of freaking out and doing something stupid, read over this document or ask me how I can help.
I'm a doctor, and part of my job is to educate people and my patients with basic and important health information, especially when you people can't tell the difference between phalanges and phlegm.
That and while I'm more than happy to use my talents God graced me with, I'd rather not see so many of you coming in from an easily avoidable accident. Like, say, sticking your fingers in an electrical socket as if this could recharge you.
It will not.
[Then, if you so wish, he uploads the document. It's titled "sonowyouarehuman101" and while it is very clear, concise, and easy to follow, there is a nice layer of smarm for you to enjoy as well.]
As for you dogs or the rest of you who have been altered to an animal form, you're on your own. God speed, Fidos and Mews of this world.( [Locked to Solus] )
[McCoy looks like he needs a bath and a comb to run through his hair. Also, twenty-four hours bed rest. Behind him, there's some activity going on, and the background should be obvious to a few.]
As much as I'd like to be out there, helping you all out, and tending to the wounded on the field, unfortunately, I'm holed up here. [He is sincerely worried and a bit disappointed.] However, since I'm a doctor and not a soldier, this is where I belong. Which is the medical clinic in Solus's temple.
I can't say I'd be much help in terms of the wounded robots and certain alien lifeforms, but for the humans out there: if you're able to get here and need treatment, I'll be available. [curses] It may be difficult, however; the best route here is through the underground tunnels, but since the bugs seem to come from underground, it may be very dangerous and highly risky. I recommend having an escort - a really big, well-armed escort, if possible.
[He pauses a moment to rake hands through his hair. Frustrated that he's kind of helpless.]
If it's an emergency, if anyone can provide the means of transportation, I'm willing to leave. [McCoy glances at origin of noise offscreen, then back again] There's another medic here. Says his name's Ambulance or something. We haven't really had the time to talk. But he's no good for transportation. Something about a "bum leg".
At least none of the damn things have managed to get in here. [infinite grumbling]
Right, I'll be quick and straight to the point with this.
I realize there's a number of medical clinics here on this planet, but no doctors who can efficiently treat humans. I was under the impression there is one human - Vandal - undergoing medical training, but you'll have to excuse me if I find your teachers somewhat lacking in these departments. Unless, of course, your field is much different from my own.
I'm interested in joining one of these clinics, and helping out our human residents. While my expertise does include other races, such as Vulcans (which is to an extent, mind you), I've not come across any other species I'm familiar with enough to preform any sort of medical procedure or examination. Though if you'll offer me your specs and medical information, I'd very much like to undergo training myself, so to speak. You are not obligated to share any of your personal information, but if you are non-Cybertronian, then I suggest giving it a shot. Better safe than sorry.
I'd ask for the specs on you Cybertronians as well, but that, too, is optional, as I know you have a handful of your own medics. I've never been quite keen or knowledgeable on engineering and tech. When I say that, I also mean I don't necessarily trust them. No offense.
As for the humans here - I'd very much like to run a routine physical and check-up on you each, as it seems some of you have gone a while without one, or at least something proper. I know since I am new you can't very well easily trust me - and I don't blame you, frankly - but I can assure you, my intentions are entirely honorable and related simply to your health.
Basically, I'm putting in my resume here. Sorry I cannot provide you with any credible references. [snort]
By the way - just in case anyone needed a little double-checking, I ran a few tests on Jetfire's - I think it was - atrociously pink fruit foodstuffs. Edible and harmless for humans. Melon flavored, honestly. I recommend stocking up, if what I've heard about this planet lacking seriously in organic food is true.
[Please excuse McCoy's voice, as it's a bit hoarse from yelling and snarling at a bunch of annoying damn robotic drones.]
I've been informed that my being here was not due to an error with the transporter, but like Hell I'll believe it wasn't. I wasn't anywhere near the vicinity of the damn thing but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with how I ended up on an alien planet full of robots. [grumblegrumble]
[McCoy rakes a hand down his face.] Let's give this a shot: I'm looking for a kid named Kirk. Goes by Jim or if he's feeling entitled, James Tiberius Kirk. Blond, blue eyes, young, radiating confidence enough to choke anyone within three feet of him? If you've seen him, let me know. I'd venture if you're female and relatively humanoid, you've had higher chances of running into him. He's also attracted to shiny objects that go very fast and endanger your life, say, starships.
If not, maybe you've seen this pointy-eared bastard with finely trimmed eyebrows and a face blank of expression. He's like a robot, so I imagine he fits right in with you lot. Goes by Spock.
Hopefully one or both of you are receiving this message and in which case, get your asses to... God what did they call this place? "Solus Prime"'s temple.
[McCoy glares firmly at the camera]
Right. Anyway. Leonard McCoy. Was acting Chief Medical Officer of the Federation's starship, the USS Enterprise. If anyone recognizes what I've just said, let me know. [A beat.] I need a drink. Or fifteen.