[The cylindrical droid in white and blue with the silver-domed top twitters and beeps a greeting. He goes on for a while in typical Binary, then pauses. Oh. Right. He should probably put that through in Basic since Threepio isn't here to play translator.
His image vanishes, replaced by scrolling text.]
[[Greetings; Designation = R2-D2, at your service. Said opportunities for service = Lacking. Inquiry as to open positions for occupation?
R2-series astromech droid, capable in starship repairs, navigational needs and running system diagnostics- well, normally. May need adjusting to local system processes...
[A slightly annoyed row of beeps follows that admission. Well, maybe he'll try his hand at splicing soon... That oughta be fun.]
[There is a view...of the sky. As nice a shot it is, it doesn't last for long. Because this is actually coming from a certain protocol droid who finds himself in a terrible situation.]
Artoo! Artoo, help me!
[Oh boy. What is it this time? The little astromech trundles over towards the edge of what looks like steps better suited for Cybertronian use. He whistles lowly as he peers down.
From where he now lay, C-3PO waves his arms helplessly. He sounds both indignant and worried.]
Must I repeat myself? Just help me up!
[Artoo beeps flatly, his dome swiveling slightly to look around before he rolls away from the edge. Oh look Threepio, he's leaving you.
...just kidding. He's just going to take another route down- namely that handy ramp on the opposite side.]
Where are you going– oh. Well, all right. Go ahead and take your time, I have nowhere I need to be right now.
How was I suppose to know what you meant by this step being a "doozy?" I don't even know what that word means! I've never heard of it before. Not even when I was first programmed, I'm sure!
[He's taking his sweet time, trundling on down until comes up beside the fallen protocol droid, twittering almost amusedly.]
Yes, laugh it all up, you bucket of bolts. At the speed you were going, you could have been here by this time tomorrow and just as useless.
[Artoo halts at that, and then does an about-face, starting to roll off in the opposite direction with what might amount to an electronic huff.
At this, Threepio flails.]
Wait! Artoo, wait – I didn't mean it! Don't leave me here! Who knows what lurks around the area!
[It takes a moment, but the little droid does return, treating Threepio to a smattering of beeps and chirps. After assessing the other droid's situation, he promptly pops out a welding arm so that he can set to making the necessary repairs.
Really now, Threepio, those legs of yours come off way too easily.]
Oh thank goodness. The sooner we get this done, the faster we can– ow! Be careful with that! Haven't you ever heard of being gentle when you do these things? I still need to walk, you know!
[The image that's transmitted fades in and out at first, interrupted by lines of static. Something vaguely seems to be moving just in front of whatever the video source is, but it's extremely blurry as though the feed receiver itself is out of focus. It isn't long before that starts to adjust, and soon enough one can see the looming face of the Acolyte.
There's an electronic squawk in surprise, and the screen shifts, just as some sort of thin metal arm with a slightly pointed tip pops out from somewhere around the camera source. Electricity sparks from its tip as its jabbed towards the Acolyte's face, sending the large figure reeling back, more out of shock than actual harm.
Amidst a flurry of confused and slightly indignant beeps and twittering, the transmitted image continues to move, shifting to a more upright position before moving forward.
There's a simulated scream as whoever it is seems to find out the hard way that it's been placed on some sort of pedestal. Which is pre-tty high up.
It's a lovely first-person view of the ground coming to meet you, and a metallic, somewhat hollow sounding thud follows once the ground is hit, effectively blacking out the screen. Apparently it's still on though, a faint warble sounding, as well as the footfalls of the Acolyte's approach. Aaaand cut.]