[Perceptor cannot help but smile at that mental image.]

I am not certain that there would be anything left if you had attempted that course of action.

[His smile deepens as he crouches as low as he can and holds out one hand toward Splat. He'll open the bag in a moment, as soon as he's sure that he won't frighten the little grey puffball by reaching for the bag.]

We have not been formally introduced. You know who I am, obviously. May I inquire as to what your name is?