re_alignment | [VIDEO] Welcome Back?

Current Mood: pensive

Entry tags:

tf: idw | perceptor

[VIDEO] Welcome Back?

[He's been here before. At least, that is what the Acolyte that greeted his arrival informed him, warning him that some of the "other refugees" might assume some level of familiarity with him. Past friendships forged, previous alliances made, beings encountered...]

[Perceptor remembers none of it.]

[His expression as he regards the Link is calm and inscrutable, though, despite how unsettling it is to find that his memories, if they were even his own memories, are... altered. Or missing. Or incomplete. Something.]

Do I have a laboratory here?

[Why beat around the bush, as Verity would have said. Well, she might have added a few... choice terms, perhaps, but, still. The sentiment remains.]

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Drift, wait.

[Perceptor's hand flashes out, trying to grasp Drift's arm to keep him from turning away and slipping through that doorway.]

I'm glad that you're happy, Drift.

[He gives Drift's arm a squeeze. Even though it hurts, Perceptor really is happy.]

You've suffered enough; you deserve happiness, and I'm glad you've found it. I'm glad you found him.

[He stops--how could he not--at the hand on his spaulder, his mouth twitching and unreadable as he turns. So much for running away. Again.]

Perceptor. It doesn't have to be like that. It doesn't have to be someone wins, someone loses.

[There's a mute question in his voice: does it?]

[Perceptor blinks. He isn't sure that he understands what Drift is trying to say.]

I'm not certain that is my decision to make.

But if you don't even open yourself to the possibility?

[Don't make him get all mystical about your holistic energies, dammit.]

....scientifically speaking, nothing is impossible.

[Just statistically improbable. And Perceptor... is afraid to hope for much anymore.]

[But Perceptor isn't above greedily accepting whatever crumbs Drift may offer him.]

[If Drift will allow him, Perceptor will use that grasp he still has on Drift's arm to pull the white mech into a hug.]

You are not some trinket to be contested over like a trophy, Drift. You are worth more than such petty squabbling; you deserve better. Winning... Losing... It isn't like that. It's... Just... just be happy, Drift. In whatever way that takes.

[Perceptor is a little surprised to realize that he really means that.]

Edited 2013-04-20 05:15 (UTC)

[Yeah, well, Drift ain't scientific.]

That's...a start?

[A very small one, probably measured in fractions.]

[Okay the hug's a pretty good start, too. At least it's not rejection.]

I want you to be happy, too. All of us.

[Which sounds really childish now that he's saying it aloud, and also, probably, muffling it into Perceptor's chestplate doesn't help.]

[No, Drift really is more a work of art than of science.]

[Perceptor sighs softly. He wants to shake Drift, just a little. Shake him and explain all the fear that is stirring up the conflict in his spark. That Perceptor is terrified of being rejected. Again. That he would accept even scraps of attention, if that's all Drift had to give. As long as Wing would allow it. Really, as long as it wouldn't make Wing retaliate against Drift.]

[He can't say any of that, though. He couldn't find the words to articulate it, even if he'd had the bravery to say them.]

As do I. Just... don't jeopardize what you have for me, Drift.

[Because Perceptor isn't worth that.]

[Shaking might help. Drift's stubborn, after all and it seems so simple. Everyone: like each other.

[But he knew it wasn't that easy--the Perceptor here before had actually liked Wing far more than Drift. But that was, even so, not entirely upsetting. ]

And all I'm saying is don't throw away a chance at happiness. I did. Before.

[With you.]

[Another sigh, and Perceptor tightens his arms around Drift.]

No, Drift. You did what you needed to do.

I missed you. [I needed you.] But I am very glad that you were not with us on Garrus-9.

I did what I thought best, but the best is sometimes, well...bigger than we can think.

[He's hardly fighting the hug, and at Perceptor's words, his grip tightened.]

I'm sorry. [For what Perceptor had to go through, and alone.]

[Perceptor heaves another soft sigh and shakes his head.]

And sometimes, one must do what is best for oneself, regardless of what another may prefer. Stop apologizing for what you needed to do, Drift. It only plays into my own selfishness.

But sometimes what we think is best...isn't. We have to do the wrong thing sometimes to see the right.

[Dammit, Wing was so much better at Gnomic Wisdom. He's trying, Perceptor. He really is.]

[Perceptor can very much see that Drift is trying, and he appreciates it on one level. On another, he's so frustrated with the white mech for the self-castigation. That's Perceptor's job, slag it!]

I love you, you know.

[It's very calm and matter-of-fact, for all that it's barely above a thin whisper.]

But sometimes, I wish to shake you until you make sense. Or stop harming yourself.

[He...uh, he didn't know. And if he'd known back then....? He probably would still have left, but he'd have run away, instead, to save Perceptor from a poor choice.]

_{Why does it have to be so hard?}

[Because everything was a struggle, for him. Everything was a fight.]

[Perceptor never would have been able to admit it back then; he'd have run away, himself, if he'd tried.]

Because we mistrust anything easy.

[He rests his head against Drift's shoulder, his knees feeling a little weak with the sudden realization of what he'd admitted to a moment before. He hadn't actually intended to say that, and it scares him that he had. That Drift might run now... or worse, that he won't.]

This... between us... all of us... it is not zero sum. But I will not allow myself to come between you and Wing. I will respect whatever decision you both make, but you must also respect mine, if it comes to that.

Perceptor. I've been...anything but easy.

[Maddening, contradictory, reckless, yes. Easy, no.]

[He takes Perceptor's weight, easily. He may be small, but this is hardly a burden, and the mass against his is a comfort, however mute and unsteady.]

I will. [He hates having to surrender, but it is the way it was. It's what he forfeited when he left the Wreckers.]

I only want you to be happy, Perceptor.

[That earns Drift a soft chuckle and a smile, though Perceptor still has his head tucked down against Drift's spaulder.]

"Easy" would have been leaving me on Turmoil's ship. I think I knew what challenges you would pose after such an auspicious beginning.

[He could stay here, like this, at least, forever. He's missed Drift so much. Missed the comfort of trust and of having someone he could relax around. Missed touch, and more than he thought he ever would.]

[But Drift is not "his" to take advantage of in such a way. It isn't fair to Drift to put him in such a compromising position when he is committed to Wing, and Drift will always come first.]

[Reluctantly, he loosens his embrace, straightening up once more as he meets Drift's optics with his own shadowed ones.]

And I, you.

[This feels nice--too nice, almost, and Drift hates the idea anyone from the Hub might come out and see them. Not that he doesn't want to be seen with Perceptor, but he's just not ready to have time dig into him. Now, this conjunction of past and present, is all he could ask for.]

You're worth it, Perceptor.

[He wishes he could make the other see it.]

[It's with a reluctance that borders on pain that he pulls away.]

Right. Uh. Engex, if you want it.

[Time. Yes, time is their enemy here, even if it has brought them together in a manner where they feel free enough to admit things kept silent too long. Or, at least Perceptor feels thus. He sighs.]

[If only Drift would take his own words to heart. But if anyone can make Perceptor see the value of Drift's words, it will be Drift, himself. No one else is stubborn enough to withstand Perceptor's own impedance.]

Engex, yes. A good recommendation.

[They were at least matched in stubbornness.]

[And inarticulateness at saying what they both wanted to be able to say.]

[Drift gives a nod, leading down the slope to the building, gesturing as he talks.]

It's in neutral territory, so the First Forged can't claim it. Wing says there's going to be living quarters here, and over here's the bar.

[Where he is headed with his usual singleminded determination. He needs a drink.]

[They both need a drink. Or a smack upside the head.]

[With a nucleon bomb.]

Any estimate on when the living quarters might be ready?

[Because he still needs somewhere to stay, and... really isn't too keen on living in a temple by the goodwill of an all-powerful stranger.]

[But first, the drink!]

Soon. We've been, well, a little distracted. Things keep happening.

[THINGS.]

[Ominous things.]

Wing's the best one to ask for that. It's sort of his project.

Things.

[Yes, he heard that unspoken "ominous" there, and it quite frankly does not surprise Perceptor in the least.]

[Well... that's... Perceptor isn't actually certain what to feel about that. He'd rather been hoping to put off meeting Wing for as long as possible. So that Perceptor could adjust to this new Cybertron before complicating his life. Not that he's hiding from it or anything. Of course not.]

Understood. I shall discuss that with him when we meet.

[He enters the bar, making sure Perceptor's following, and points the sniper to a table, returning a moment later with two rather generously-sized engex portions.]

Have you ever heard of a 'Unicron'? That's who the First Forged blame just about everything on here.

Unicron?

[Perceptor delves deep into his banks, seeking anything, of note or not as he accepts the engex from Drift. Nothing comes up, and he shakes his head.]

No. Nothing pops up. Who is it?

[The engex feels good as it begins hitting his systems. For a moment, Perceptor can almost imagine that they are merely sitting at a quiet table in Swerve's bar, finally talking to each other, instead of at one another.]

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[action] schmoop alert

[action] now I want to know the sound effect for this schmoopsiren

[action] it involves popping shoujo bubbles and hearts with twinkle arpeggios, I think

[action] and a surgeon general's warning

[action] icon love!

[action]couldn't resist!

[action] so many awesome icons!

[action] i am so lazy at making them ;-;

[action] but you pick such awesome images!

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[action] sunday the day I beat my inbox into submission

[action] yay!

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