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✘ 9 | 4

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If my calculations are correct (which they are), then today is my birthday! Or creation day. However you wish to put it! I'm 7 now! I believe I was 5 when I got here. (My name is still 4 though, hee) What do you do to celebrate your birthday? Do you do anything special? Do Cybertronians even celebrate the date of their creation? Oh, do you think an organic can make me some cake? I can't eat it, but I'd sure like to see one! I hear that "chocolate" is favoured amongst humankind! :D

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You are very odd Crow. I consider myself to be a very intelligent person, yet everything you do and say baffles me.

You know me, I'm like the wind, baby!

But uh happy...making day.

Who made you by the way? You don't look like you were designed with any particular task in mind. At least, not a physical one. Was your personality naturally designed to be abrasive? Were you made to be a companion of sorts? What would you say your purpose was? Also, what is your power source?

Woah woah woah what is this, Sixty Minutes?!

Well I was basically made to keep Joel company as he was forced to watch bad movies up in space! And I'm not abrasive, I'm sassy. To be honest, I don't think Joel had any idea what he was doing when he made me. I mean, do any of us have purposes? Aren't we all lost adrift in the cosmos in search of meaning, empty husks like dust in the wind?

[OH NO NOW HE'S THINKING.]

I mean SURE I was built to make fun of movies and keep Joel company, but WHAT IS LIFE IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS?! Are we all not condemned to rust in the slow decay until the heat death of the universe, in search of meaning?!

[And coming back down...]

--naw, I'm just here for the jokes.

....you know, I don't have the slightest clue what keeps me alive.

I'm glad you're here either way. Oh! If you want, I know someone who can give you an answer to that! He's the most amazing person here, and he knows all kinds of science!

Knows all kinds of science, huh? Lemme guess, he's a mad scientist and or all-knowing computer...or a Viacom ceo.

He's a scientist, but he's not mad! I think he's the best scientist in the Haven. I like him a lot actually.

Well with these rejects from Gigantor, that's not a far stretch.

Anyhow, guess wouldn't be too bad to see this guy. I mean, I did laugh at the face of death!

I'll have to ask him about you sometime then! I've seen him dissect things before, he's pretty good at it.

[Sputters.]

What what WHAT?! What is this, black market healthcare?! I DON'T WANNA BE DISSECTED!

He'll put you back together again, so relax. It'll be okay.

...you act like I'm gonna agree to this.

It's not going to hurt! I'll let Shockwave know and I'll come find you later!

NO DON'T LET HIM KNOW!

NO MEANS NO.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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