[Video] - edge of the Junk Pile towards Megatronus' quadrant

[warp]

[The video comes on to show Skywarp in the air and grinning, with the sound of lasers being fired, plus an unholy racket from somewhere below him.]

So, y'know. After that trip into the Badlands I just gotta wonder... unless the 'Firstforged' are powerful enough, why're the army in there just waitin'?

[Even as he talks, Skywarp dips and swoops, smirk flickering wider every now and then, and he's not looking at the video, but the ground below him.]

'Cause there was a blasted army in there. Kinda like watching the drones Megatron came back with to whup the Autobots... or maybe scraplets waiting. And---

[Something catches his attention, and the lasers cut out along with - briefly - the video, and when it pops in again a second later, Skywarp's on the ground. In front of... Well. It's a very large and pompous chair. Throne, more like.]

... What the slag? Starscream, y'sure this isn't yours? I mean, besides the wings.

[A throne made out of wings and nothing can really hide Skywarp's expression as his faceplates flickers through empty surprise, disgust, a grimace that can't really be described as anything in particular... And yet he gets close, because he just knows this is his. And after slowly reaching out to touch the armrest and staring for a microbreem or so, Skywarp shrugs and tosses himself into it.]

This is the creepiest slag I've ever done.

[Then a tiny herd of four harried-looking and laser-burned geardeer rush past in the background.]

Comments

[aerospacecommander]

Why would I have a throne like that?

[warp]

Never know what glitched thing you've gotten in your processor, but you're right.

It's more, maybe, Megatron's... or Shockwave's style, isn't it?

[He should get off but this is... creepily distracting.]

[aerospacecommander]

What I am curious about is why you have it.

[warp]

Hey, don't ask me! How'm I supposed to know that? I just found it.

[Grimacing, Skywarp taps the armrest.]

Want it?

[aerospacecommander]

Repaint it and I might take it off your hands.

[warp]

[He hadn't even been serious, and then Starscream goes and say that, so after a moment of slightly widened optic-staring, Skywarp shrugs.]

Figures you'd say that. I suppose I could do that. Gotta be some paint 'round here.

[And he's already imagining all the obnoxious colours he could use, smirking slightly. Starscream didn't specify after all...]

[aerospacecommander]

And it better not look stupid.

[He knows what you're thinking.]

[warp]

Ahhh--- [Whyyyy. Skywarp widens his optics, managing an innocent look for maybe a few seconds before snorts.] Would I ever?

Fine. What'd y'want, then? I'm not gonna paint it in three different colours.

[Ergo, he's not going to go through the effort of making it your colours.]

[aerospacecommander]

Paint it mostly blue, with some white .. maybe a strip of red across.

[Guess who's colors he's describing instead]

[warp]

That's still three colours, if you gotta have the stripe.

[Pause.]

... Why those colours? Are you thinkin' of something in particular?

[Why does he feel like he should know?]

[aerospacecommander]

Oh, no reason in particular ...

[warp]

Hey, y'can't just say that and not explain!

[Huffing, Skywarp crosses his arms and scowls. That's rude, Starscream!]

[Video]

[notyourblueangel]

[Wings. Seeker wings. The glitched thing is built of SEEKER WINGS!]

Creepy, my afterburners. That thing's disgusting! Get your aft off it, Warp!

...and what army? Where were you?

[Video]

[warp]

[It is, and don't look too closely at some of the colours, though admittedly that's what added to Skywarp's morbid fascination...]

I know! [He sounds more consternated than anything, though.] I dunno why I got this...

Oh, y'know during the battle in the Badlands? I had to teleport and things went kinda sideways. Didn't end up where I wanted to and got kinda stuck... [He squirms, rather embarrassed. It was ages ago since he got literally stuck somewhere through warping. That shouldn't happen! He hadn't removed any of the safeties!

But then, the Badlands was at fault.]

Think I ended up rather far in, 'cause there was like a fraggin' sea of the same sort of creatures we were fighting at the campsite!

[treacherous_widow]

[The throne of wings hardly disturbs a certain widow. Her attention is more focused on his words.]

What army?

[warp]

The one in the Badlands! The group that jumped us were nothing in comparsion, and all of us in the Haven? Pffft.

[Skywarp throws his hands in the air, shaking his helm. He might be a little worried because they're sort of actually stuck on the planet, so unless the Firstforged really are enough... well.]

Ain't gonna be enough.

[treacherous_widow]

[... Okay that was a little worrying.]

How can you be so sure? Do you know what the army is made of?

[warp]

Look, lady, I saw it, all right?

Just 'cause my warp got all borked so I ended up somewhere I wasn't goin' originally doesn't mean my optics weren't working, and I know an army from a vanguard.

... Unless that was the vanguard.

[Which isn't better, really.]

And if y'saw the things that ambushed us, it was that, plus those huge bugs from earlier.

[treacherous_widow]

...Uh huh. Someone really needs to describe to me what the slag everyone saw out there. Or show me a specimen.

[warp]

Imagine a bunch of movin' knives, and you're good.

[Skywarp may or may not be saying that just to be annoying.]

More pointy than that Barricade that's around... and that one Megatron as well. Naturally sharp enough to slice through any of us, as well.

[treacherous_widow]

[...Whether he's being annoying or not, it's still giving her food for thought.]

Then it sounds like we need to start working on defenses.

[warp]

Defences usually requires more people and a more defensible location.

[Skywarp huffs, shaking his helm. He might need things pointed out a lot and someone to almost hold his hand unless he's fighting a one-on-one situation, but he knows that at least. And Haven? Just from a cursory look isn't very defensible.]

Though I suppose we could ask 'bout puttin' out cannons around the perimeter or some slag like that. Funny they haven't put up some sorta warning system for the critters from the Badlands approaching, yet.

["They" being the Firstforged of course.]

[treacherous_widow]

[He does have a point, but she's had a little experience with created defenses for places like this.]

The perimeter can be booby trapped. Maybe instead of relying on the Firstforged to protect us, we should be doing it ourselves.

[warp]

D'you know how borin' perimeter patrols are?

[Because they are. Very boring. Skywarp lets out a rather impressive static sigh and shrugs.]

But I suppose it doesn't matter. So far it ain't been so bad, but that just makes me wonder what they're waiting for, out there.

[treacherous_widow]

Unfortunately. Try doing perimeter patrols when the worst thing you have to worry about is an energon storm rolling in.

[That is something she does NOT miss.]

Who knows. I don't want to wait until they strike to find out.

[warp]

[Skywarp stares for a moment, grimaces, and then laughs.]

Yeah, okay, you win. How the frag does an energon storm work, though? Does it rain the liquid variety?

[Maybe actually crystals would be worse, considering the concentrated radiation and the fact that getting pelted with crystals would hurt.]

[treacherous_widow]

It's a really nasty radiation storm that can put a bot in stasis lock and power them down if you get caught in it. Think really nasty lightning and dangerously high energon radiation.

Trust me, it's not pleasant and the reason I have a beast mode to begin with.

[She smirks slightly. Blackarachnia's weathered her fair shares and definitely does not miss them.]

[warp]

Fun.

[Except not.]

... What, why does an animal altmode help?

[Skywarp eyes Blackarachnia with a rather wide-optic look, obviously bewildered.]

[treacherous_widow]

...The storms don't affect organics as much as it does us. It gives me me protection from energon build up.

[She glances away.]

I'm just as much spider as I am bot.

[warp]

[Okay, useful or not, that's just... Skywarp stares, and then grimaces.]

Ugh. [Eloquent!] Ain't that kind of creepy? I mean, we're not squishies of any sort...

[treacherous_widow]

Who said I was squishy.

[She glances back with a slight smirk.]

Try techo-organic and trust me, I am happy to be just the way I am.

[warp]

That's even worse.

[Ewwww. Skywarp can't resist grimacing again, shaking his helm.]

Just seems wrong.

[treacherous_widow]

And seeing you giant energon guzzlers walking around seems wrong.

[warp]

Least I'm normal.

'Sides, you don't have to go... organic just to save energon. We've got a bunch of tiny mechs around that the guys stuck on Cybertron while we napped on Earth engineered.

[They're silly, but kinda useful? Not that he'd want to be that tiny.]

[treacherous_widow]

Normal huh? Not where I'm from. Your frame went out of style three centuries ago.

[She glares a little before crossing her claws.]

I know. I got to see you lot napping on Earth before I ended up here. The Ark was a fun piece of work.

[warp]

Pft, that's hardly any time at all---

[Stare. After a moment Skywarp tilts his helm, scowling.]

Hey, if what you say is right, then that'd mean you'd be from a reality further in the future so how in the blasted name of Cybertron could ya even have seen the Ark on Earth!

[Are you liar or having him on, huh.]

[treacherous_widow]

[Smirks. Sometimes the truth is more fun than any lie she could come up with.]

Lets put it this way. It involved a Megatron, a transwarp drive, a theft and time travel.

[warp]

TIme travel?!

[... You're having him on, aren't you? Optics narrowing, Skywarp leans forward, eyeing Backarachnia hard.]

If you're having me on, I'm gonna dump you in a lava pit.

[treacherous_widow]

[Smirk]

Sorry handsome, I'm not lying. Speaking of lava pits, nice going crashing it into a volcano.

[warp]

Well, I wasn't the one drivin'.

[He just huffs, and then rubs the side of his helm with a shrug.]

I don't think anyone was at that point. We were all kinda busy.

[He smirks a little at that.]

[treacherous_widow]

[She snickers.]

So I saw. The inside was a mess.

[warp]

Well, what d'you know? You probably ain't even from my future.

And anyway, battles make messes. Worse mess when no one has the time to turn on the autopilot.

[Which was kinda stupid, really, but they'd been fighting way before the Ark got caught in Earth's gravity, so attention hadn't been on that.]

[treacherous_widow]

[She shrugs.]

Probably not, but from what I gather, all universes seem to have similar traits. Like the same bots in both or something.

[She waves a claw slightly.]

But whatever, I know the story from my universe. The history tracks were in the Darksyde's system. Or, at least I know the Decepticon part of the history from my universe.

[warp]

It's kinda creepy, all these potential alternates.

[He doesn't really care about the similar events because somehow that's less creepy - but, as far as thinking about it in general, it makes sort of sense, that a multiverse would exist.]

... Funny to think it's history, while it's 'now' for me.

[Skywarp frowns, almost thoughtful for a moment before he shrugs.]

[treacherous_widow]

Try knowing it's history and then getting to make sure what you read actually happens. It's even weirder that way around.

[Shrug.]

[warp]

Is that even possible? I mean, doesn't it become... uh...

[He waves a hand, and then shrugs.]

Doesn't it kinda contradict itself or somethin'?

[treacherous_widow]

You mean a paradox? Kind of.

[She shrugs again.]

Thinking about it makes my circuits hurt so lets just go with 'That's what happened'. I got stuck on a prehistoric Earth with a less than sane Megatron who stole a Maximal artifact, started a war with the Maximals and then I had to save everyone's aft by stopping the mad saurian from destroying everything to make sure history happened like it was supposed to.

And try not to get myself slagged in the process.

Trust me, it's a headache for the processors.

[warp]

... Givin' me a headache just listening to it.

[Nevermind that his optics glazed over a bit partway though, but he did catch it all.]

So, uh. Congrats, I suppose?

[treacherous_widow]

...Thanks.

[Shrug.]