[Video] The irony here is lost on him.

[my_own_trope]

[Starscream's been quiet lately, because guess what? Prison is ZERO FUN. Adding insult to injury, neither is torture... and what's worse than torture is being left alone and ignored. (Realising you're probably a malfunctioning clone, struggling with narcolepsy, and understanding that you're also being poisoned does put a damper on things too.)

He knows he's fallen out of the loop and that a lot of things are going wrong right now, but here's another attempt at pretending things are just fine until they really are.]

[The video pops on to reveal this asshat, and he looks more haggard then normal but he also looks somewhat smug. ]

Which one of you here is Chromedome?

[A set of condolence cards fan out from between his claws. "Our regrets on the loss of your loved one" can be read on the first.]

He or she has apparently lost someone dear to them. What a shame. It would seem however, that it's time for you to stop moping and to learn to move on.

[He holds up a book with his other hand, the title of which reads: How to Take a Breakup Like a Champ ]

The lambda certainly thinks so at any rate. Don't worry, I took the liberty of skimming the recommendations and I have to say it's all a load of scrap. That said, who did you lose? I'm all ears. [Because oh god someone gossip with him PLEASE or at the very least talk with him, he's SO LONELY.]

 

---- Private to Knock Out Since Shockwave isn't returning his calls ----

[All that smug confidence evaporates from his voice and is replaced by panic.]

Knock Out? Knock Out I know you're out there! Respond immediately!

 

Comments

[deceptionshark]

Are you trying to tell me what I should do, Starscream?

I think you have found in the past that that is ill advised.

[Mostly he just wants to see Starscream squirm.]

[my_own_trope]

[Gulp.]

Far from it, my lord! I wouldn't dream of taking the liberty.

[Except for those times when you REALLY need someone to tell you the way things should be done Not like it's NOT his job as your main adviser, tactician, and also second in command or anything.]

I'm just trying to point out that given, er, certain situational environments, ah, it would be, technically impossible for me to have... committed myself to anything remotely .... worthy of a beating. At least recently.

[deceptionshark]

[Megatron makes the best decisions all the time, and no one can ever tell him otherwise. Those who try usually end up getting knocked around, as it should be.]

You are still Starscream, are you not? My Second-in-Command? Trying to worm out of it will only make it worse, my dear seeker.

[my_own_trope]

[Starscream doesn't really have as much of a problem with that system as he maybe should have.]

But-!

[Fret, fret, fret.... give up. He sighs and rolls his eyes, shoulders slumping.]

Do I at least get to be privy to what it is I allegedly did?

[Nevertheless he's adding Megatron to his list of people he'll need to regrettably avoid for a while... You know, once he gets out of prison.]

[deceptionshark]

Reduced my army to half its power because you could not leave well enough alone.

[Which is pretty damning Starscream.]

If one of your underlings did such a thing, what would your proposed punishment be?

[my_own_trope]

I would never! Never mind why I'd do such a thing, but how could that have even been possibly?

[Even if he would totally never do it... it wouldn't hurt to know the methods. Just for the official record and all.]

[As for punishment: ... Probably beat them within an inch of their life. Or murder. Yeah, that too.]

I'd let them explain what they thought they were doing, first off. But I'd recognise there'd be no need for hastiness, and even in that egregious error we might find a brilliant strategic advantage with which to gather around!

[deceptionshark]

[Oh Starscream, never stop being you. Except when you annoy him, then please stop existing because part of him despises you.]

"How" is not important here. What is important is that you did. I am not about to let this horrifyingly epic failure go without some form of punishment.

You may be under the police protection now, but you will not be forever. I will be waiting.

Because robots totally yawn in tfp

[my_own_trope]

[But then who would you take out your frustrations on? It would get awfully stressful after all, if you didn't have a chewtoy constantly on hand.]

Ah... yes. Of course, Master.
I'll just...
be here then...

[He taps his claws together nervously, and then much to his horror... yawns]