re_alignment | [Video]

[Crow appears on the feed, dressed in his festive...red nose. That's it. Times are tough in this economy kids and even someone like Crow's feeling the hurt. But that doesn't stop the holiday spirit!

Anyhow, Crow's ready to kick this thing into gear.]

Well the Christmas season's upon us again (or if you're a certain trashcan the less important and embarrassing holiday Lifeday). But some of you must be wondering: what is Christmas? And like most of you, those people live under a rock.

Let me explain: Christmas is a magical time, a time of jolly fat men in red suits, Coca-cola product placements, and using the emotions of your loved ones to get what you want! But most importantly, it's a time we gather round and remember the reason Christmas even exists: Patrick Swayze. Yes, he's the bouncer of Christmas, guarding the north pole from the Martian threat until Santa is ready to deliver his presents.

And so to honor the Christmas spirit of Swayze, I have a little carol to sing. Normally Tom would sing this, but bear with me--and sing along if you want!

And now: 'Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas'.

Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.
We'll gather at the Roadhouse with our next of kin.
And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing.
We'll decorate our barstools and gather round and sing.

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear!

It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my ba-ha-haar.
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.
I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will, ohh,

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.
And this can be the haziest...
This can be the laziest...
This can be the Swayziest
Christmas of them aaallllllllll!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Let me break it down: Joel worked at Gizmonic Institute, but his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space, sending him the cheesiest movies and Joel took the parts to control where the movies began and ended to make me, Tom Servo, and Gypsy!

[ok you know what he's just not gonna ask anymore questions because what the fuck]

Right, so you're not a Cybertronian. Are you... planning to do anything to commemorate Patrick Swayze?

[It's best you don't ask.]

I'm a robot.

And well...I thought about starting my own Roadhouse? Wanna help? You can be my bouncer!

...Sure, why the hell not? Not like there's anything else to do around here.

[...] What's a Roadhouse?

It's like a bar on the road.

Just think you can say cool things like "It's my way or the highway."

Considering the last bar on this planet I was in had a very angry looking Cybertronian in it, I think I'd like to join you with that.

I can probably rope Strelok into it as well.

Giant killer robots, who needs them?

...Sterlock Holmes?

Not us!

[oh, he got that reference!]

Strelok the Stalker. I'd ask Mccoy too, but I'm sure he has enough to deal with in the medbay.

He's a professional stalker?

And you mean McCoy from Star Trek?! That's be great, oh boy!

No, I- don't know what his actual profession is, but he's a smart guy. Probably would be a better bar assistant than me.

[wat]

From what? You'll... have to ask him about that.

But he's called a Stalker.

[So deadpan.]

Star Trek! It's a hit TV show!

I don't... think he's that kind of stalker.

[this face]

Never heard of it. He's too doctor-y to be an actor.

Is he related to Stalker Channing?

[Oh right...the whole TV show characters living here as actual people--god this universe is strange.]

Yeah but he has high hopes for becoming one!

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