[VIDEO]

[schrodingersbot]

[The video feed, when it clicks on, is a bit chaotic, the picture jerking about roughly. What landscape that can be discerned in the image, however, seems to be near the border of the badlands. Something large, mechanical, and sharp suddenly slashes into the frame and then back out again, like a weapon being thrust toward the camera.]

AAhhhhh! Cease and desist at once, you arachnid annoyance!

[Perceptor briefly flails into view for a moment, looking a bit flustered, before he ducks out of view again under another swipe of that weapon. Or rather, not a weapon, as the view shifts wildly to pan across a massive robotic spider with very large fangs lowered threateningly toward the camera.]

[As the view swings wildly again, there are muffled thuds and thumps and the thick clang of metal against metal that seem to hint at an epic struggle. Perceptor looks much more harried when he bounces into view again.]

I, ah, seem to have stumbled into a bit of an inconvenience... wherever this location is. If anyone is nearby, assistance would be greatly appreciated!

[There is an odd, almost liquid sound that splatters into the feed, and a sudden yelp from Perceptor as a stream of thick, greyish goop blasts past his head.]

As soon as possible?

Comments

[Voice]

[vandalization]

[GIANT SPIDERS?]

I uh. Hope you're okay, buddy- because you're on your own!

[Necromorphs? No problem! Giant bugs? NOPE.]

[Voice bc altmode]jacked with permission

[sword_redemption]

I've got this, Vandal. You stay safe.

[S-something she's afraid of? Who'd have thought it possible?]

[Voice]

[vandalization]

Did you kill it? Did you kill it?

Yeah. Yeah no problem there. Fuck spiders.

[Voice]

[sword_redemption]

[This is a day destined to be full of surprises.]

Yes. It's, uh, pretty killed.

[Why are you acting weird?]

You all right?

[Voice]

[vandalization]

Well kill it some more. Fuckin. Slice it up or something. And then move the pieces so it can't like. Come back to life somehow. And maybe melt the pieces down. It's the only way to be sure.

...

I'm fine. But that is the second giant ass robot bug I've seen today and that is two too many.

[Voice]

[sword_redemption]

Vandal. It's....pretty dead. It's not going to hurt you. I promise. I'm a pretty good judge of dead.....ness.

Are you sure?

[Though secretly he's relieved she's not reading him the riot act about sneaking out of Medibay. Again. ]

[Voice]

[vandalization]

Uhg god. Okay. Also check to make sure it didn't fuckin' like... lay eggs on you or something. Are you sure you don't want to melt it down?

I'm sure. I just. I did not sign up for giant robot bugs, Drift. Nothing about this is remotely.

Good.

Maybe fortifying my living space wouldn't be such a bad idea...

[Voice]

[sword_redemption]

It didn't lay eggs on me. I swear. [How would you even think that?] I can decontaminate or something if it'd make you feel better...?

I think they're only out here by the badlands or something.

[However he is a-ok with that idea.] I'm sure Perceptor would be glad to help you with that.

[Voice]

[vandalization]

I- well. Okay that's tempting, but I believe you.

Oh god. Okay so let's never go out there, then.

Yeah. Ahaha... hey Drift. Can you like. Come over and pick me up when you're done there?

[Voice]

[sword_redemption]

I would, if it would make you feel better.

[See? He's trying to do this 'care' thing.]

[He gives a small chuckle.]

I won't ever make you come out here, Vandal.

[The chuckle fades.]

Sure. Is everything all right?

[Voice]

[vandalization]

Ah... thanks. But it's okay.

[Awkward shuffling.]

No arguments there.

Ah. Yeah. Just kinda. Wigged out.

[Voice]

[sword_redemption]

....what's wrong? What's happened?

[An undertone of guilt in his voice--something's happened and he missed it!]

[Voice]

[vandalization]

Uhhhhuhuh...

I just.

I don't like bugs.

[voice]

[schrodingersbot]

[That's hardly helpful! Although, Perceptor does rather understand the sentiment. He'd really prefer not to be dealing with a giant spider, himself, right about now.]

[Ah, but there's Drift! Drift will assist him. He always does!]

I believe that I shall be, momentarily?

[voice]

[vandalization]

Oh that's good to hear... that would be a shitty way to die.

[voice]

[schrodingersbot]

Agreed.

[Be amazed, Vandal. You have no idea how rare a one-word answer IS from this bot.]

Such a lovely welcoming committee you have here.

[voice]

[vandalization]

Hey, man. I was not told about any fucking ro-bugs or whatever. This is news to me.

[voice] sorry. it's a moral imperative.

[schrodingersbot]

[Perceptor manages a low, rough chuckle.]

Now we both have been made aware.

[And knowing is half the battle.]

[voice] sgfhfhgdaasdf

[vandalization]

Yeah...

Haha.

Hahaha... fuck.

[voice] ^____^

[schrodingersbot]

Are you all right?!

[voice]

[vandalization]

Yeah, just not a fan of bugs.

[voice]

[schrodingersbot]

Ah. A shame. I find most insects and arachnids to be fascinating specimens. When, ah, they are not attempting to add me to their dietary intake, that is.

[voice]

[vandalization]

I don't mind them so much when I can step on them. or you know. See them in pictures. But I'm not a fan of this whole "larger than life" business.

[voice]

[schrodingersbot]

I cannot proclaim a fondness for the concept, myself, at the moment.

[He laughs weakly.]

Ah, I am Perceptor, by the way.

[voice]

[vandalization]

Well y-

Wait. Perrrrceptor. As in red guy, scope-thing-on-your-shoulder-Perceptor?

Or is this just a common Cybertronian name or what? Because you sure as hell don't sound like the Percy I know.