Let me think about that. Hmmmm.... Nope! Still going to call you Chinchilla!

As for wooden soldiers being a threat... Well for starters they're made out of hard wood so setting them on fire is a bad idea since they will burn very slowly. As a result, you'll still have an army coming at you even though they are on fire. They don't feel pain, so inflicting any kind of wound doesn't phase them. And they can easily put themselves back together if you do manage pull off some limbs.