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brave police: j-decker | kagerou

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[This feed was probably meant to be private, but the right buttons either weren't pressed, or he just isn't thinking clearly enough to make it so. The ninja-bot is in the air, big surprise there, but looks rather resigned, despite it.]

Soundwave -- I'm sorry. There isn't any sign of Starscream... anywhere.

[He sounds pretty tired, though. He's been looking a while.]

Heading back in now, I...

[There's a sound like an engine rattling, a choked-off sound of gears and mechanisms grinding. His thrusters die, and his wings spasm to a standstill. That's what you get for not watching your fuel/energy levels. The briefest expression of surprise registers before... well.]

[Kagerou is abruptly falling.]

[Thankfully, there's a nice, smooth lake conveniently under him. So instead of smashing into the ground, he just turns into a ninja-cannonball as the feed cuts out.]

- - - - - - - - -

[TEXT | later]
... a ride to the medbay would be appreciated. |

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Hey...

[His mask splits and he smiles at Kagerou.]

I accept you for who an' what you are. It's what makes you you, y'know? Even if we're totally different. That just makes it more interestin'.

[HOLY CRAP his face transforms.]

[And he can only stare up at him. He's been told he can't be like them, that he won't understand them. His 'own kind' either don't trust him, or probably want his 'other half'. He's never felt so completely alone since he came online.]

[But... then Soundwave throws this at him. Comes for him.]

[His head bows. He leans against him again.]

... I'm nothing but a shadow.

Is it really something you find that worthwhile?

[He certainly does. Shadowmaru had. But someone who isn't either one of them?]

[The smile never wavers, even when Kagerou speaks. The look he has never judges, never fades. If anything, somehow it widens with warmth and acceptance before he gives a soft laugh.]

Well, yer the most interestin' shadow I ever met, then.

But for serious? Of course I do. Yer young, so you got a lot of growing to do! I'm sure you'll find your own value soon. But when I look at you, y'know what I see?

I see a loyal friend. A strong, real living person. Sure, he's a little lost, but I think he'll find a good place for himself sometime.

He just needs a helpin' hand, yeah?

[Whatever he was expecting, laughing, smiling, isn't it. He blinks, honestly surprised at the answer.]

['Interesting shadow'? Is that even possible?]

[He starts to refute all that, but, belatedly, remembers he'd allowed the other robot access to his memories. That sort of gives Soundwave a unique perspective. Doesn't it?]

He... is more than a 'little lost'. He doesn't know where he fits. Or... how to find it.

[He grips a bit of plating, for something solid to hold onto.]

... the only help he has ever known... he promised he'd leave behind. And I'm not sure how to rely on another.

[When fingers curl into his shoulder plating, Soundwave gives pause in the conversation, but not in his stride.

Still, he shrugs the best he can. Not to get rid of the hands, but to show his calm approach to the subject.]

Sometimes, it's hard. Especially now; I think with you an' some others, it's rough. This is an alien planet, with totally new folks. Doesn't help that yer stuck in medbay on a generator. ... I'm sure you must feel a little helpless. Maybe even a little scared.

But that's, like, totally okay. And if you dunno how to rely on another dude, you just need to look at your friends and say, "Please, help me."

I'll always say yes.

I thought it would be easier, living on my own. Being on my own. [He shakes his head.] It hasn't gone well at all.

[He falls quiet again as well. He hasn't thought of the difficulties the others must be facing. They... just seemed so much more self-assured. So much more established.]

A little scared... Yes. You're right. And thank you. Very much.

It's still strange. I'm not trying to be ungrateful. But I... you saw. How it was.

Didn't you?

Edited 2012-08-25 08:52 (UTC)

M'sorry you tried doing that, but I'm glad you realized it hasn't worked out.

[Kagerou's shoulder gets an affectionate squeeze.]

I did, a bit. Mostly th' feelings. You were close with someone. But just one person. I think it's great you're really close with someone like that. So close that you know each other inside and out.

But you shouldn't jus' be livin' for one dude. He'll always be important, but you know now that you got other dudes here, ready to be your friend, too.

Otherwise, it's... gonna be like this. And it's so awful, being alone. I don't want you to feel like that.

I didn't think I had another choice. Even here...

[Even in this 'second chance'.]

More than... close. Made because of one another. I wouldn't exist, without him. He wouldn't, without me. [The whole Prototype Thing, and all.] This? Is the longest we've ever been apart.

[He doesn't know how else to explain the helplessness, the near-inability to really function. There's a gaping hole where someone should be. It's very distracting.]

It is awful. It's...

[He looks up.]

... you say it as if you know the feeling.

Mm, that's a little different and unique than I'm used to. But I can see that. It must be so hard...

[He looks up ahead to the horizon as they speak.]

A li'l bit. Not like you.

But I've lost a lot of friends because of fighting. An', I adopted a bunch of younger, smaller Cybertronians, so they're kind of my kids. But I haven't seen them for a few years. It's been rough, not gonna lie, but all I can do is believe they're okay.

And I can't be stuck feelin' alone, 'cuz I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. That's why sticking together is so important. There are others who get you, where you're comin' from. And you can be stronger for it.

You can do that, Kagerou. No one is gonna replace your friend, not ever. But you can't continue alone, you know that now.

... Different than anyone would be used to. If what I've heard is true.

[He doesn't comment on the "hard" part. "Hard" doesn't begin to describe it, he doesn't think. But there's no reason in saying so again. His fingers tighten, where they grip, but he stays quiet, listening. It's pretty much the one thing he's always guaranteed to be good at.]

I'm sorry.

[It's quiet, barely spoken, but it's there. Maybe it's an attempt to give what he's been getting -- that strange, unasked for support he has difficulty understanding.]

I know. I don't want him replaced... I ... have you. Don't I? That isn't being alone.

Hey, don't apologize. None of that is yer fault, go it?

[His arms curl a little more around Kagerou while still carrying him, in kind of an embrace.]

Sure, you have me. But I think it'd be better if you had more friends. You'll feel stronger. And as much as I'd want to, I can't dedicate all of my time to you. I got a lot people I care about and love. It's okay to have more than one friend, Kagerou.

Yes. I've got it.

[That's more than okay with him. He shakes his head though.]

I didn't mean it that way. I wouldn't ask that of you... or anyone here. [The only one he would expect it of isn't here. Might never be here.] I was trying to be sentimental.

[He pauses, as if listening to something only he can hear.]

... I may... have more than one already. I've been told to tell you there is gasoline at the medbay. Waiting.

O-oh! Sorry. I wasn't sure if you were, like, bein' all ... literal an' stuff. Heh. No no, that's real sweet of you.

Of course you have me as a friend. An' I'm glad you got others.

[He perks up a bit.] That's awesome for you, then! You'll get refueled an' we'll get that water out of ya, okay?

I'm not that literal.

[But you are pretty literal, Kagerou. He nods.]

One or two. It's strange to say. Very strange.

[There is the tiniest flicker of a smile.]

Drift is... looking out for me as well. That counts as a friend, doesn't it? [And then he sort of sags in relief.] Drain it all out. I don't like this sloshing.

Yer preeeetty literal.

[The smile is happily noted! Soundwave beams brightly.]

Mm, I think so. I'm sure he feels the same way.

Heh, an' we will.

I'm working on that.

[He's a little struck by that smile. That's... really impressive.]

I'm... glad to hear you say so. It's good to know I'm not imagining it.

'Course not.

C'mon. I'll get you to the medbay and get you to be more comfortable, yeah? I'm sure Drift is waiting on you.

[He nods.]

I will... try not to make either of you more concerned.

[And, somewhat awkwardly, considering he's a social recluse and is not in much of a position to do so... tilts his head up, to tap his forehead against the underside of Soundwave's chin.]

[Trying to mimic what he was given, earlier.]

Thanks. I can't, um. Can't really stand the idea of losin' more friends, heh.

[So it'd be good if Kagerou was more careful.

At the little nuzzle, Soundwave is pleasantly surprised before he returns the gesture affectionately with a happy hum.

Yes good.]

No. I don't like the idea of it, either.

[Especially since he has about as many as he can count on one hand.]

[That... is good.]

[He'll content himself with that until they make it back.]

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