re_alignment | [Video] [Originating from: Junk Pile] [Locked to: Drift]

Deserved or not, you're punishing yourself for the consequences of my poor choices? If we're doling out blame, doesn't Dai Atlas deserve a share?

[Quite. Maybe someone has as much to learn from you, as you did from them.]

Life is never fair though is it?

Centuries? I would say what's past is past but...obviously it's not. [But he's remembered at least. That counts for something right?]

No? Annie's safe yes, but she's also worried about you, yet you persist that she shouldn't be. That none of us should be. Drift... Is there a reason you can't accept compassion from others?

There's a difference between blame and trying to prevent things from happening again.

[And by possibly infecting Wing with a lethal plague, he'd nearly already had. It didn't matter that the plague wasn't contagious--neither of them had known that. ]

Dai Atlas was afraid of violence. He wasn't entirely wrong.

[And even in peace Drift has had a hard enough time laying down his sword; it must be just as hard to pick it up again.]

[Drift shrugs.] It's kind of hard to leave the past in the past sometimes.

[How many mechs were unwilling to forget Drift's Decepticon past? Bumblebee. Ultra Magnus. The DJD. And Drift wasn't ashamed, but he knew he couldn't just pretend none of it had ever happened. ]

There are just those who deserve the worry more.

Back to the here and now then? [He smiles.]

[Nearly yes, but through no actual action of your own. Other then standing there, existing.]

Cause and fault are also two different things. It is possible to take responsibility for one and not assume the other.

No, Dai Atlas wasn't entirely wrong. But he lost perspective. He fell prey the to the same rigidity of belief that led to the start of the war. Adaptability is not only survival but beneficial growth, evolution.

Our history should be our foundation and guide, not our cage.

[Force of habit, though relatable, is a probably a poor excuse, all things considered.]

Yes our past can haunt us through other individuals, that makes it even more important for us to come to terms with it inside ourselves. We should not shun our history, but take from it what benefits there are and let the rest lie.

[And you shouldn't, not entirely.]

Maybe it's not about deserving it. Compassion isn't currency. It's freely given. It does not need to be earned or exchanged, though it can be. And sometimes, those who need it most have done the least to 'earn' it.

The present is the only freedom any warrior truly has.

[Drift frowns. He understands Dai Atlas better now than he ever thought he'd want to.]

But it's better to lose perspective out of wanting to protect than to conquer.

[He laughs.] That's a strange notion coming from a mech who lived in an underground city. You were all about preserving the past.

Our past.

So we had a past to come back to.

[He gives a frustrated sigh. He doesn't want to argue.]

...I never thanked you.

[A nod of agreement.] Yes. And I'd like to make the most of it.

That it is. Admittedly... [he sighs] That's something I've been guilty of as well. Just, not on as grand a scale.

[He smiles reflexively at your laughter. You're pretty sure he's not conscious of it.] Yes, an underground city I left too often for the comfort of some. Which was both folly and blessing.

[There could be much rambling here about historical knowledge and life lessons, taking things to heart or to mind, but that'd probably start to sound banal. He doesn't want argue either, and he certainly doesn't want to kill the conversation.]

I... [He almost says something hypocritical, given the earlier conversation. He seems at a bit of a loss now.]

It's weird...how the universe gives us second chances. [Like the one he had now. That he was really trying not to waste.]

You should. It can't replace the future I took from you, though.

[He frowns. Obviously Wing's referring to him.]

Yes. You should have left me when I betrayed you the first time. [You'd still be alive, in your City.]

It is. [And he's afraid to say more.]

Why can't it? [Really he's not trying to be contrary Drift, it's honest curiosity.]

[An indecisive pause. Then it comes out in a rush, like the he's held back the asking.] What happened? I...only remember up until Braid's attack. What happened after that?

And left you out of spite? You know that's not my way. [Alive. Safe but Trapped.] I'm glad I didn't.

...

I'm just happy we have them. [He smiles, it's a bit tired, but unquestioningly genuine. He'd say more, but he needs to understand first.]

Because you're alone here. You lost your city. All your friends. Everything that matters to you.

[And in exchange: Drift, who's slowly rusting all over everything. Not a great bargain.]

[Oh. Oh he wasn't ready to answer this. His optics close, for a long moment, a line of red rust welling beneath them. But you asked, and he has to honor that.]

You died. Braid killed you. [His hand brushes his chassis, where he'd seen that pike Braid used pierce Wing's armor. It leaves a long, red smear.]

...all I could do was kill him for it. [But he knew, from Gasket, that revenge didn't bring anything back.]

[And that's all Drift can bring himself to say.]

Granted. But that's an unfair comparison isn't it? This future is only just being born.

[And Wing isn't looking for bargains.]

[It's not easy for Wing to hear either. He reaches for his chassis but he catches himself, sooner this time than in the past few days, flexing his hand a few times before lowering it again. The fingers, they shake slightly.]

The first part...I knew.

[He takes a bit of comfort in your news about Braid, even if shame comes in its wake.] I see. It's just as well, the slaver band certainly suffered for the loss of its leader.

[You succeeded where Wing had failed. But that's...not what was most important.]

What else? The City, was it saved?

_{I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.}

You....you were the only one. Dai Atlas saw what happened. He brought the whole city out to avenge your death.

[That's something, right? It shows your value, at least. Your entire city came out for you Wing.]

[And that's why Drift's antagonism for Dai Atlas had faded. Because they shared that hurt, that loss.]

And I kept my word. I freed the slaves. Just...too late.

[He's quiet a moment, because these things take time to process.]

...I know.

[Acceptance.]

[No other fatalities is a good, if humbling, thing to hear. Friends and compatriots, safe. It makes it even more worth it.] Dai Atlas...he joined the battle? And with the rest of the city? But wait, you're not saying...he brought the city to surface?

[He's touched by this, deeply, and it shows in Wing's face, but then there's a edge of dark irony to his features.]

You did? [A flash of a smile, dispelling some of that darkness.] That's good. I--thank you. At least it wasn't too late for them.

I notice you now carry Too Pure For This World... [You know it's a question, unfinished.]

[He wants to argue that Wing doesn't know, that he can't imagine someone like Wing ever really being able to comprehend the magnitude of his mistake, and his remorse. Wing would never make such a huge mistake in the first place.]

Yes. He joined; he brought masses to defend you.

[It's what Drift had wanted to happen in the first place. No one would have died that way. No one.]

No, it wasn't too late. For them or others.

[He looks confused for a moment before it clicks.] Oh. I... yes. Dai Atlas gave it to me.

[But he sees the magnitude of your pain now. And Wing knows of no other offering to make than comfort.]

The city raised? And it took my loss to do it. [He leans forward in his seat, sharp shadows falling over him, white audials sweeping the air as he shakes his head.] What I would have given--to live to see that.

[Because there was always a part of Wing that wanted that too. To live under the open sky. Maybe even with you.]

[He ex-vents and straightens swiftly, as if trying to shed a weight from his back.] What would you have done Drift? If we'd both survived the battle?

They valued you highly, Wing.

[And Drift had not valued you enough.]

There should have been another way. [So many things that refers to: to defeat Braid, to undo Drift's betrayal, to keep the City safe. All too late.]

I-I don't know. [It was not something he'd tormented himself with in the long years after, the knowledge of the present he had lost was bad enough--imagining lost futures would have broken him.] You hadn't seemed to plan on surviving, either.

They honor me. [And he knew it was true. The way Axe and the others had stepped up to join him. Each person added to his chances for survival. Except Dai Atlas, who valued his sanctuary more. All these circumstances... the more Wing thought about it the more he began to wonder if events played out exactly as they were always meant to...]

Should have been. [He sighs.] It doesn't matter now though. We both showed poor judgement. We both did our best to rectify it. We can't change how things played out. We can only go forward.

No more than you deserve.

[And far batter than Drift expects to get himself when he dies. But if events played out as they should, Drift should have been the one dead, and no one mourning. ]

No, the fault was mine. [A wry smile. He doesn't think you've done anything wrong in your life. Of course you don't understand.] And you can't go forward and forget the past ever happened. The past is what...what we're hoping will save us.

[Not 'no one' mourning, Drift.]

[Wing knows when there's no convincing you to share the burden. But if he's never done wrong then he can be satisfied with the good in his choice to rescue you.]

[He nods.] We must remember the past but not dwell on it to the exclusion of our future. [And cocks his head, curiously.] 'Hoping the past will save us?' [Is this a new metaphor?]

[Up until a week go, yes, no one mourning. Oh, Rodimus would make a speech, and then Ultra Magnus would sigh an Ultra Magnus-sized sigh of relief that Drift wasn't going to do something illegal on a massive scale and Ratchet would call him an idiot and that would be that.]

You shouldn't mourn me, out of everyone.

[There's no way you could share the burden of having been Deadlock. That history dogs him to this day.]

Not a metaphor. _{I hope not}. We're--some of us--looking for the Knights of Cybertron. Cyberutopia. What Dai Atlas spoke of, all the time.

Because we can do war, but from what I've seen, our kind...we can't do peace.

[An improvement then yes?]

I think I'm better qualified than most actually. [He has a slightly sly smile that keeps this lighthearted, but then he sobers again.]

Drift... I don't think you realize... your arrival changed everything, in more ways than you know.

[Oh Primus. Is he going into story mode? He is.]

I believed in the knight's cause, in our purpose, but they way it was executed at New Crystal City, [He shakes his head] challenged me on a personal level.

It was beautiful utopia, but all within a stasis bubble. Necessary to benefit the whole, the greater purpose. But I...I was suffocating. No space, no room to fly, no potential for growth. The same air, the same light, the same people, the same life day after day.

I accepted and endured because it's what needed to be done.

You changed all that Drift. All that time I spent with you, made me feel alive again. It was like waking up. The outside world had invaded and I...I didn't mind. I loved it.

The battle and how it ended doesn't change that.

[He smiles and ex-vents softly. It feels like a confession, and in most ways it is. But like himself, it'd been trapped for too long.]

Cybertopia? [This gets a quirk of an optic ridge.] ...Peace? What do you mean?

[He doesn't want to answer that. He doesn't really want to think about dying now, either of them. Not right now. Not when he's still half convinced this is some fever dream or hallucination that he desperately wants to make real.]

[But you're lucky you have such a nice voice, Wing, or Drift would possibly have started to zone out.]

It was better than anything I'd ever had.

[His voice was small. It's a revelation to him to discover, after all this time, that Wing felt the City to be so flawed. It had been everything he'd ever wanted. And he'd only resisted it because he hadn't fought for it, hadn't earned it, didn't think it was real or possible unless one had paid for it in suffering.]

You....had a funny way of showing it [He's trying to keep the tone light, to turn it into a joke, because, well...it's a lot to take in. It changes everything he's thought, everything he's blamed himself for.]

Cyberutopia. The home of the Knights of Cybertron. They can help us. They have to.

[No more notions of dying. This, Wing can can agree on with his whole spark.]

I know. You told me, and--[His tone is sheepish, almost pained]--It's not that I was ungrateful, far from it. It was as near perfect as I could ever imagine. But it was also hard for me in some ways. Being underground, cut off from--everything. That was the exchange though, perfection in isolation. And it was worth it, for all of them, to see them happy, safe.

There were days though, when I just...needed to breathe, to see the sky, remember there was a world, a universe outside. [His flight surfaces rustle involuntarily as he shifts, restless.] It's one of the reasons I ventured out as often as I did. It's why Dai Altas raising the city...afterwards, opening it to the outside, is so--ironic. [That dark edge from before, you recognize it.]

[He shakes his head, regaining his composure.] But my wants and needs alone weren't a reason to challenge it or to place doubts in others. It was mine to adapt to and endure. I did it willingly, for them.

[And he would have for you too, if things had been different.]

[Yeah, maybe a little levity here is a good thing? His tone is tentative, a bit like his smile.] Would you have preferred tea and opera?

"Help you? ...are you trying to end the war with the Knight's help? Or are you saying...it's already ended?"

There are worse things to trade than not seeing the sky.

[They'd never seen the sky down in the gutters. 'Freedom' to them meant some fantasy where you had a safe place to recharge and didn't have to steal to survive. Anything else was incomprehensible luxury.]

_{But you weren't? Happy?} [All this talk of 'them' and what they needed. The pronoun was upsetting. He'd thought Wing was happy; he'd envied that happiness.]

[He shutters his optic lids.] No. Not for me. The whole point isn't to 'endure', Wing. That's not what it's about. [And not for Drift. He's far better at enduring than you give him credit for.]

The war's over. [Don't ask him who won, though. That's still...a mess.] The war's over, but the factions, the grudges, the enmity still remain. It's why we left.

[A small nod.]

That's not-- I'm-- [not handling this in the best way obviously. It'd been ages since he'd spoken of this to anyone. He'd rather forgotten how to do it. Wing passes a hand over his face before continuing.] Something happened back during the start of the war. I spent a long time trapped, injured, under rubble. Sometimes...there are echoes. [He cycles a vent.] I love our city, I do! What we accomplished there is a joy and a wonder beyond imagining. It's not that I wasn't happy.

There are just times I harbored a selfish desire to...have it above ground. [His voice is small, like it's the first time he's said these words aloud.]

I'm sorry if I'm making this sound melodramatic. None of that is my point though, it wasn't supposed to be about me. You were fresh and new and brought news with you. I hadn't realized I'd missed those things until you came and...stirred things up. It was exciting. I just wanted to show you how you touched and changed my life in a positive way. [Since you seem so set on all the negative ways you'd done so.]

[Are there winners in a war like that?] I'm glad to hear it's done with, the fighting at least. You're trying to rebuild then? That's why you're going in search of Cybertopia?

[Wing hadn't shared much of his own story in Crystal City. Because it hadn't been about him, but rather about Drift, trying to get Drift to see himself for what he was and what he'd done...and what he could be.]

It's hard to feel happy when the past seems to keep reaching for you, yes. [He knows this all too well.] But you succeeded better than most, I imagine.

[No, but he knows you're thinking that question, anyway.] We were trying to rebuild. But there are some who can't let go of the factions. This [he taps his Autobrand] still means something else to them than a code of behavior. They see it as a way to hold on to the grudges and the hatred of the past.

It sounds silly to want to move to the past to move forward but they? They're not moving anywhere at all. After all that time.

[He also doesn't like unnecessarily burdening others.]

[He nods.] It's certainly an...interruption. I did my best, found ways to cope. [Which you know plenty about.]

Lines drawn so deeply over the millennia are hard to rub out. [He focuses on the Autobrand on your chassis, still decorated by the red smear of your own rust.] It's a reminder of those grudges. It's lost its purity of meaning.

[Wing shakes his head. It's an oblique thought, but one he understands.] You need a place to start. An example to remind all Cybertronians that there are other ways to lie. That it's been done before, and can be again.

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