001 - [Video]

[zsaber]

[Judging by the background, somebody appears to have wandered over to the Junk Pile. Zero's expression is as calm as ever, but a low electric hum can be heard and faint wisps of smoke occasionally drift into view of the camera.]

X? Shadow? If you guys are out there, respond.

[A long pause.]

Figures. Looks like I'm on my own for a while. [The view whirls around erratically, as if he no longer cares where he's pointing the camera. It briefly points up at the sky, then there's a flash of something glowing bright green, and then finally it points at a robotic green and white dog that's been chopped in half.

The two ends are still glowing red-hot and billowing smoke, so the kill looks fresh.]

So, new question. This belong to anyone?

Comments

[figures: truth in advertising!]

[mccrane]

Of course not. [He doesn't!] But you cannot write out warrants based on a hunch, right or wrong.

[Still, he'll continue this line of questioning with you.] Was...Snuffles...tame?

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[SNORK. Yes he's so sarcastic his snorts are terrible 80s cartoon characters.]

Yeah, know that. I was a cop once, too.

[You get THE FACE.]

...am I? [Tame. Ha.]

[mccrane]

[You were? That's...that's wonderful, actually! They could always use more help...]

Then you understand that I have to have a better grasp of what went on.

[You've also made him curious.]

I don't know. What caused you to stop being a police officer?

[whirlybird_of_prey]

You saw it. He killed Snuffles and then bragged about it. Seriously. Did you see any remorse?

[No! NO! Misfire, misfire. You're supposed to be curious about the OBVIOUS perpetrator, not Whirl.]

Long story. Let's just say it was...office politics.

[mccrane]

I didn't. But if he was defending himself against a non-sentient or a semi-sentient, then the rules change.

However, I will investigate this for you.

[A pause.]

You can join me, if you wish. If policing is still palatable to you.

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Look. All I'm saying is we have one maniac already who goes around shooting things at random. You really think we need more?

[Because Whirl does, but only as long as it's, you know, Whirl.]

If he thought it was just some random wild critter, he wouldn't ask who it belonged to, would he?

[So there. Property = worth = a crime to kill.]

...[Suspicious look. Why are you asking him to join you? This is Whirl we're talking about!] ....sure. Why not?

[mccrane]

[...!] Who would that be?

[More is always bad. Unless it's people who would be willing to go to the shooting range with him. Which...probably means he should build one.]

That is a possibility. [He's not going to deny it, even if he's pretty sure it's not.]

What quadrant are you in?

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Perceptor. The one with the freaky optics. [Because Whirl is clearly an expert in freaky optics.]

A possibility worth investigating. All life is sacred and important.

_{or some slag whatever} .

Don't worry about what quadrant I'm in. He's the bad guy!

[mccrane]

You don't sound like you entirely believe that.

[He's heard about the Perceptor case from the other BP...this makes more sense, now.]

If I'm going to meet up with you, I'll need to know your location.

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Do I have to believe it to make it wrong?

[Whirl is not just a jerk, he is a jerk who sometimes makes serious existential points.]

Oh. Right. That. [He'll just send you coordinates now.] Just testing. Congratulations. You passed.

[mccrane]

No.

But it helps.

[Most of the time.]

You aren't used to trusting others, are you? [He'll take those coordinates, and be on his way! This will make a nice break from laying foundations.]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Helps who? [Because whoever it is? Whirl doesn't really want to help them.]

Let's just say I have my reasons.

[mccrane]

It helps yourself. [Surely you'd want to help yourself!]

I understand.

I won't pry.

[Not yet.]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Yeah, no. This is Whirl. He doesn't even want to help himself.]

Good. Because I got boundary issues, all right? [Mostly, he has none.]

[mccrane]

All right.

[So...like Gunmax. Or Duke. Granted, their issues were very, very different, but it's relate-able, somehow.]

Because of the war?

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Opticroll.] Nope. Not one of those sissies all boo hoo about the fraggin' war. Those mechs seem to think life was sunshine and energon for everyone before the war.

[mccrane]

[This is the first he's heard that it wasn't. Admittedly, Drift had not mentioned much...]

That was why the war started, wasn't it.

How was your life, then?

[whirlybird_of_prey]

It was all corrupt. But you know what? That's life. Boo hoo there are greedy people out there. I'm so surprised!

[He waves his claws in the air in mock surprise.]

My life? Sucked then good then sucked some more. Then the war. [He shrugs. Yeah. Pretty much hit the highlights.]

[mccrane]

[Corruption would...definitely be a problem. McCrane still can't even imagine a world entirely of functioning robots, however, so trying to imagine the politics within it is boggling.]

What about now?

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Corruption's only a problem to those who don't have any power. Which was like...almost everyone really. ]

Now, yeah. [He shrugs.] Same thing.

[mccrane]

No, I mean...

Is it good for you, being here?

Or would you rather be back where you belong?

[He can't imagine you quite 'belonging' anywhere, but...maybe?]