re_alignment | [Video] [Transmitting from Prima's Quadrant, outside Police Headquarters]

Entry tags:

tf: idw | wing

[Video] [Transmitting from Prima's Quadrant, outside Police Headquarters]

[The feed clicks on and Wing raises a hand to greet you. He's looking every bit himself again, though his usual cheer is replaced with a determined solemnity. The new Police Headquarters building stands behind him, from which he's obviously just emerged, with the light of Prima's temple shining from the distance.]

Fellow Haveners,

The last time I addressed you all in this fashion I was very much not myself, as many of you already know. Aside from not looking like myself, I was also suffering from a decidedly altered state of mind and morality, through no fault of my own. Unfortunately, I believe many others here may have also suffered because of it.

But first: Any issues you have with words or actions you assume were Drift's during that period, the week before last, know that they were mine instead. Due to Alpha Trion's pages, I looked near identical to Drift while he looked nothing like himself during that time. I do not wish him blamed for my actions or those perpetrated by my dark counterpart. If you have issues, please bring them to me.

[His head hangs in silence, gathering his thoughts. The weight of this is obviously heavy upon him, but he bears it with the quiet, composed grace of someone who has done much introspection. When he speaks, his tone carries both strength and empathy.]

I wish to extend a dutiful and sparkfelt apology for the wrongs incurred due to my words or deeds during that time. I can't tell you how much it pains me that I may have, even unintentionally, undermined your trust in me, damaged friendships or tarnished respect. It would never be my intention to deliberately slander, harm, make uncomfortable or otherwise create malcontent in this community.

[He cycles a ventilation here, slightly uncomfortable. Because though that's 99% true, he's fully aware that part of him bares little shame in his plots to kill Prism. That's something he's still trying to reconcile with his own values.]

As much as self exile is a fitting penance for someone such as I, which is why I have been out of touch of late, I realize it does little for the community which I have wronged. As such I would like to offer recompense to those my dark counterpart called out directly, in the form of one task or favor you wish of me. Such a task can be any of your choosing, so long as it is within my ability, though I do reserve the right to refuse on moral grounds...

If you feel such a thing is not necessary or refuse the offer for any other reason I will respect that, but remember I do this for you as much as myself, as it is part of my personal process of atonement.

Feel free to contact me publicly or privately, however you feel most safe. I urge anyone to please bring me any questions or concerns you have, I will field them all regardless of what you have to say, pleasant or not. I owe you all that much.

I'm sorry it took me this long to bring you apology, but it's taken me some time to get right with myself before being able to offer the same to all of you. You have my endless gratitude for your patience and understanding. By the Guiding Hand, I wish you all well.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Exactly.

[Thankfully there are none of those in Haven!]

Essentially yes. Judge people on their own merits and flaws. [Compromise comes in chapter 2, Kagerou. We're getting there. All in due time.]

Yes it is. So that person wasn't lying or misleading you intentionally, it was truth to them, as they understood it. The just lack the insight of the bigger picture.

Unless its just a matter of a miscommunication, in which case just ask them for clarification.

[Wow this metaphor may be getting away from him now.]

... Am I allowed to dislike them if they have more flaws than merits? As long as... it's my decision?

[He'd be looking at Gunmax if Gunmax were here.]

[He makes a face, though. Really, he's trying to think this through, and process it.]

This... always works? Just talking? Listening?

Yes, you're entitled to any opinion you choose, just know not everyone will agree with you. [But oh, it's not that simple Kagerou.]

But realize too that there's a reason people have flaws. Sometimes these flaws are understandable, and we can be forgiving of them. It's good to be compassionate towards others in this way, because wouldn't you want them to be compassionate to you? To forgive you your flaws?

[It takes time Kagerou. It's all food for thought.]

Not always, sometimes different people just plain disagree, but even it's a place to start, and talking about it can lead you to a more peaceful disagreement. But yes, talking, AND listening. Both are important.

I think I've gotten used to others not agreeing with me.

... I don't understand these. I've... tried. I think I've said the right thing, but it never works. It's always the wrong thing. The wrong time. I... don't know what I want of h-- what I want, anymore.

Listening is simpler.

That's helpful...it's more common than I think anyone really prefers. But that's just the nature of all of us being free willed individuals.

Listening often means learning which can help in the end.

But how are you having trouble with? Maybe I can help?

Really? I... thought it was just me.

[He hesitates. A long time. Then locks the feed.]

His name is Gunmax. He is also a BP unit... from after my... after my time. He hates me. And I don't know how I can change it.

No, people often see, think and feel differently, it's normal.

[Wing is patient and doesn't press.]

Gunmax. Yes I know him. He is troubled, I don't think he trusts people very easily. Do you know why he feels that way?

Troubled? What do you mean, troubled?

... Not really. The first time we really spoke, he accused me of telling Drift to harass him. But... then he helped me. Several times.

I just can't say anything right, where he's concerned. He gets angry. I don't know why.

I'm not sure why exactly, though there's usually a reason for the things, but he seems to have issue trusting people. He's easy to anger, but not everything sets him off. I wonder about his past history, what would make him sensitive to these things. [He makes a contemplative gesture, and you think you hear a finger tapping on the table.]

... Yes, Ive seen similar behaviour before. Sometimes it's easier to push people away than make friends. It hurts less when they slander, abandon or betray you. Which sadly, sometimes does happen. It's a wonder then how much they were friends in the first place, or what happened to change things... [He sighs.]

If he helped you, I think it means down deep that he doesn't hate you, he's just conflicted and not certain what to think. It will likely be this way until you can earn his trust I imagine.

I wouldn't know. I'm not someone he would say anything to.

[He has an idea of who would know, but that's not going to help anyone right now.]

But... I don't want to do those things. I want to -- [He just makes a helpless little noise.] -- I don't know what I want. But it isn't that. Why would he think that?

I can't earn anything until I'm allowed to.

He hasn't shared a whole lot with me either, just a few things. But I can generally read people relatively well. So those things may not be completely true, but it's my feeling... [A beat.] I know he took the loss of Deckerd really hard, harder than most might realize.

[Wing looks saddened for a moment, almost...sheepish.]

No, and that's good. At the very least, you want respect and tolerance from him right? That's a place to start. Perhaps you can works towards trust and friendship after that. One step at a time.

It's not that he thinks that exactly...it's more a defensive mechanism. It's easier to push people away just in case, than risk letting them hurt you. It's unfortunate.

...and will take a lot of patience most likely. [He realizes this is no easy task.]

Your feeling is more than I had to go on before... [A pause of his own.] ... And, yes. I know that. I... that is one of the few things about him that I understand. Losing... someone that important to you...

[Or, at the very least, being separated from them and being unable to do anything about it...]

Yes. That's all I want. But I don't... know how to do it. He gets angry with me for things I don't even know I've done wrong. Or... just mentioning things.

How can I take steps when I don't even know where to begin without tripping up?

[He shakes his head.]

I can be patient... when it gives results.

It's something at least, I hope it's helpful. [A soft smile, because he really does want them to get along.] So there at least you have something in common.

[People have found common ground in stranger places.]

Have you asked him why it makes him angry? Or what you could do differently? [It's likely not that easy with Gunmax, but it's the first place to start.]

If he won't talk to you about it, you may be left with trial and error. If you do something wrong, try to find out what it is, and then do differently. Also realize that what he says may not be exactly how he feels. Not everything comes at face value. I know how that sounds, but you're a detective, observe and look for patterns in his behavior. You may come to understand him better.

And...you may or may not get results. But if you need to work with him then it's worth it to try. Compassion is an important thing to have, it's not easy, but it can help a lot and often is it's own reward. [He smiles.] You should have seen Drift when we first met. He wanted none of my compassion, in fact first thing he did was attack me. It took a long time, but I won him over.

No. I haven't asked him. I don't want to make things worse than they are already.

[He smiles briefly -- but there's nothing amused or warm in it. It's a rueful, almost bitter smile.]

[Use the skills he was never supposed to need...]

I do have to work with him. I... chose to be part of their team. While they're here, at least. I don't know what will happen if I manage to go back. But... I have to do this.

There's no choice in that matter.

[His head tilts.]

He hated you... and now that's changed? Now you're important to each other?

It might be something to think about. But you'll have to gauge the right time, hopefully when he's in a good mood or more receptive in general.

[Hopefully that's a thing that happens with Gunmax.]

Yes, you do. And it's brave of you to stick with it. In a strange way they are the only family you have.

He saw me as an enemy, he hated that I kept him from his duty. But I did it because he needed to see that his duty was wrong, that there was a better way.

And yes. Very important. ..._{I love him.}

Receptive. I don't think that word is in his vocabulary.

[GRUMBLE MUTTER COMPLAIN.]

Family... no. It's not like that. It's a team I sit outside of. Trying to be a part of, and not knowing how to work into. But, like I said, I have no other option.

Maybe you're better at this than I am.

[He makes a face, though.]

Trying to understand him won't make me love him, will it?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Video] [Transmitting from Prima's Quadrant, outside Police Headquarters]

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