re_alignment

Entry tags:

tf: prime | ratchet

Video

[Have a vaguely uncomfortable looking Ratchet.]

I had a long-winded speech drafted, but then I realized that no one wants to listen to me ramble on and I'm not a mech of many words anyway. [Shrug]

First of all: I know that after the incident with the pages, some of you are feeling unsafe around me, and for good reason. Given my training, events like that absolutely cannot be allowed to re-occur. [He shuffles awkwardly, still feeling guilty about that.] Since there is no way of guaranteeing that I won't be similarly affected by some other event in the future, I've installed an incapacitator and given the triggers to two other individuals here on Cybertron. So if something happens in the future, they'll be able to ...take me out. I hope that provides some measure of comfort.

[Now that the awkward part's over, he seems to relax a bit, even smiling as he moves to his next point.]

Second: my superior officer isn't around to accept my letter of resignation, so an open post on the network will have to do. Given continued peace between members of the Autobot and Decepticon factions here, and the number of other skilled professionals on the planet, I am resigning from my position as a medic.

[He pauses for a second, then, having nothing more to say, shrugs and shuts off the feed.]

Text: Locked to Noisy Boy
I promised to go stargazing with you at some point. Are you still interested?

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Really. So that's it. You're going to punish everyone because you did one thing wrong? That you didn't even want to do?

[You and Wing acting like this? Makes Drift feel that he has no hope whatsoever of making things right. But at least he's still trying.]

Punish everyone? How is this punishment?

[Ratchet is legitimately confused about this response.]

You're one of the best medics here. The Brave Police wouldn't be alive today if not for you.

So you're going to deprive us of that when we might need it again. Punish us by making sure we have one less healer.

I have complete faith in the abilities of First Aid, Ambulon, Barricade and Vandal to keep you lot in fairly decent condition. [He was going to say Pharma, but no, he still doesn't like Pharma. Deal with it fail!plane.]

And if there's an emergency, I will be around. I'm not saying I'll never medic again I just... I need to stop being the front of the line.

[There's a far away look on his face.]

Before the war, I chose my profession because it made me happy. Then the war started and ... for a long time now, all I've had was a sense of obligation and duty.

[He sighs, rubs at his optics.]

I just miss the days when I looked forward to doing my job. And maybe taking some time off to clear my head... will help fix that.

That's not the point, how good the others are.

[Because now you're confusing him.]

So this isn't about what happened, but just that you're not happy?

[Wow. He's...a bit flabbergasted. He's never been 'happy' with what he does. He's never looked forward to killing, except as the one thing he could actually be useful at.]

Your happiness is more important than how you can help others, help this place? Is that really what you're saying? Because I never imagined you'd be so selfish.

For centuries, I have been the only medic around with any sort of skill, and finally I'm in a place where there are others around to pick up the slack. It's ... yes, perhaps this choice is selfish, but I'm apparently not in a place where I am [oh it kills him to spit out this next phrase] mentally stable at the moment. Continuing to work in a condition like that isn't fair to my patients just as much as it isn't fair to me.

[A pause, then he looks down and away, muttering.]

I would like to do everything I can to prevent actually having a psychotic break.

[The thought that he might actually go off the deep end for real scares him like nothing else.]

You should talk to Rung, before you do anything like resign, though. Installing a killswitch and resigning aren't really a plan to to heal yourself.

[Where do you think you're going? That stuff's all well and good, but Cliff's still upset over what he saw. The fact that Ratchet can even bring himself to smile actually ticks him off.

It just doesn't sound sorry enough.]

Yeah, that's not good enough for me.

And what could I do to make it "good enough", Cliffjumper?

Gee, I don't know. We could start with an 'I'm sorry'. Or did those pages make you forget what a real apology is, too?

[Blink.]

My apologies. I am sorry. I just... didn't think that saying the words would have any meaning if there weren't actions to back them up. And then, I ... forgot to say the words themselves.

You know, if I just forgot something, you'd probably tear my aft a new one. ...Especially if it came to something as big as this.

Edited 2012-10-06 14:59 (UTC)

I would.

[Voice because he can't look Cliff in the eye right now.]

[You're killing him, Ratchet. Won't even talk to him over a video? That's just cowardly.]

Alright let's get serious here, before you cut me off again. I can forgive you for that little stunt you pulled, I guess, since it was the pages in the end. But all this other scrap? What gives?

[Hey, remember how you were too cool to help fix Whirl? Because he does.]

Less talking, more killing yourself in shame.

[Whirl's a believer in that sort of Nebuchadnezzar style justice. Optic for an optic and all that.]

[He feels a bit guilty about that, to be fair... but there were other medics on that, and Whirl, you're just sort of an asshole.]

I'm apologetic, not suicidal.

Yeah? I didn't hear much apology. Not even the 's-word' once.

You don't want to make things 'right'; you just don't want to deal with what happened. You can't even say 'I'm sorry for torturing someone live on air'.

You're a fraggin' coward.

[Whirl's seen your kind before. Not. Impressed.]

[Ratchet takes a moment to digest all of this and, since Whirl is making a legitimate point, he closes his optics and vents in, out, then opens them again.]

I'm sorry for ... torturing someone live on air.

[It's not a comfortable thing to say, but he grits it out, because it is necessary.]

I've apologized to First Aid privately, but if you feel that reparations must be made to the rest of the community at this point, then there you have it.

[It's pretty terrifying, isn't it? Whirl having a point, and all.]

See? Doesn't that feel better?

[HAHA no. it probably feels worse. Welcome to Whirl's world.]

[Say that ten times fast.]

Why the frag you asking me? I'll tell you something, doc. I'm fraggin' sick of you polly purehearts getting all twisted around the axles because their self image ain't as spotless as they thought. Cry me a fraggin' river. You did something bad. OH NO. Join the fraggin' club.

[It's hard to tell when Ambulon looks legitimately upset/annoyed when his default face is always grumpy mcsorebutts.]

I agree that you should take sabbatical leave for a while, but to retire all together? The event with the little "magical" accident we had recently affected various people, in various ways. Understandably, it was rather hard on you, but it was a matter of an outside force altering your mind and controlling you.

Though we've not known each other long, if you're anything like the Ratchet in my universe, then losing your expertise and skills will deal a rather hard blow to us all.

We... all make mistakes, and bad choices... [ahem] but you were not in complete control of your faculties.

[AHEM] Anyway. I do suggest work leave for a while, and perhaps, a visit to Rung, if you find you are unable to cope despite the best of your abilities.

[A little bit of a smile, because you're being very reasonable, and Ratchet appreciates that, Ambulon.]

Perhaps I'll change my mind later... but I won't be completely out of reach. I'll still be around to consult with, I just don't think that I ought to be the first medical officer to be contacted when individuals are in need of care.

I certainly will look into seeing Rung, though.

And perhaps we could finally put our heads together on protocols for caring for organics?

[shrugs] Just as long as you don't allow this setback to become permanent. What happened to you was unfortunate, but moving on and accepting what has happened is also key. I understand some people will want an apology, but the best you can give to both them and yourself is not to give in and wallow in the past for too long. It solves nothing. [HE KNOWS YOU SEE.]

[nods] Rung's from my universe, and though we've never met personally until recently, he's rather well known for his skill. I think a visit with him ought to do you some good.

And, yes. When you're ready, we'll swap the information we've accumulated on our organic neighbors.

Of course I am, Ratchet. I would enjoy that.

You said you are resigning as medic?

Well, I don't think the best medic we have resigning is the best course of action. It's not like you're the first Ratchet I've known that had this happen to them.

Though, if you are set on this, could I at least trouble you f'r some tips on repairing your particular dimension's Cybertronians? I admit I know less than I ought to and I'd hate t'get caught with my metaphorical pants down.

You... You what?

[First Deckerd disappears and now this? The shock sort of knocks any other words out of him.]

[Here's Wing looking knowingly concerned for someone who is still his favorite medic.]

Ratchet. I don't have to tell you I understand, at least to some degree, what you're going through. [He pauses, but only for a second.] Are you busy? I want to see you.

[Because Wing is going to hug the living slag out of you like he should have done when you came to see him in jail. He's not afraid now, no more walking around, holding himself back from people. Least of all a friend like you.]

[Wheeljack had been too busy with tracking down that page for Alpha Trion that he missed the first little broadcast Ratchet made. SO...]

Wait.

What did I miss.

...

[guess who isn't happy about being given one of those triggers]

Ratchet...

Oh please, just whine some more why don't you.

Resigning won't magically make you not turn into a monster or whatever happens in this stupid place.

[Is that a hugely superior smirk? Why, yes. Yes it is.]

This is for the best after all. Might as well leave the medic work to the professionals.

Yes, I'll bear that in mind, Pharma.

Hm? [Oh, Ultra Magnus. This is the first time they've spoken since...when? Back before the clinic was set up on Delphi.]

It's good to see you here, Magnus. Having any trouble upholding the law?

No more than usual.

I will need a medic to come to if Ratchet has resigned his official position. I trust you can be dependable?

[Urge to arrest. Rising.]

I see. Did you know? There's even a Swindle here for you to chase. [Chuckle]

And of course. I am the best surgeon the Autobot council has ever had.

Hmm. Yes, I'm sure that First Aid and Ambulon can keep the rest of the staff up to speed.

[Said lightly, as if Pharma's skill were of no importance. Which, actually, it isn't woops haha]

I meant me. [You are such an aft, Ratchet.]

After all, I was the one who had to clean up after your little...incident.

Unfortunate. However, if that is your choice, we should abide by it.

I have one request of you, Ratchet.

Sure. Why not.

Whatever the hell makes you feel less guilty, right?

I don't. Want anyone else fixing me.

Ratchet...

If that's what y'want, dude. I don't blame you either way you go, though.

You gonna hang in there all right?

[Miko is having a hard time with this, especially after having woken up with those new memories.]

What does the incapacitator do?

[She looks very worried, and upset still.]

Resigning seems like a rather extreme punishment though it is your choice, and no one else's.

[Rung pauses, thinking back to what Wing had told him and weighing all of that in his head.]

...You..could always just take a leave of absence, so to speak.

[Have a very obviously uncomfortable looking Blurr. He wanted to apologize to Ratchet sooner but he couldn't find the guy.

Now he's a bit of a loss of what to actually say to the exmedic. Enjoy the view of a speechless Blurr, it doesn't happen often. He's clearly trying to say something, but he looks pretty overwhelmed.]

[A depressed robot? What was the world coming to?]

Hold up, handsome. I don't think taking yourself out is a solution to any problem.

And you seem like a nice enough robot ... guy. Explosions are rarely pretty and pretty things shouldn't blow themselves up.

'Ey, so, if yer a medic, an' ya ain't gonna be doin' any medicy things, at least fer a while, can I have yer stuff? Like, anythin' that's sharp an' powerful an' possibly capable of goin' through crazy amounts-a steel.

'Cause it ain't like yer gonna be usin' 'em any time soon or whatever. [LOOK AT HIS OBNOXIOUS GRIN]

Seems a lot more people were affected by these pages.

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