re_alignment | voice | trion's temple

Entry tags:

brave police: j-decker | kagerou

voice | trion's temple

[This isn't where he was supposed to be. He was on the roof just a second ago. Why... why is he in the temple now? It doesn't make any sense.]

[And then the feeling of loss sets in. Considering he can no longer recall the events leading up to, and including the fight with Overlord, he can only assume this loss is of memory itself. The most important thing he has...]

[... needless to say, when it finally occurs to him to grab the Link and make a call, he sounds utterly frantic.]

Someone -- please. I don't know what happened. I...

[He actually needs a moment to calm down enough to speak.]

... My memory is... there is something missing. I can feel -- I can feel it!

Please. Help.

[This is the most distressing thing in the world... at least until someone tells him he was dead a minute ago.]

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Well... I don't know what happened, why I was left like that. That just...doesn't happen to people all the time, does it?

I... I don't know, Ventus.

I don't know how human memories work. I just know they aren't data. They're not like mine.

I guess that's fair enough. I'm not really sure how data works either, but I figure that it's like memories.

...so I guess I've already lost a part of me. It might still be there, but... [He shakes his head.] I don't want it to change the memories that I have now. These memories are who I am, so as long as I don't forget them, I think I don't mind not knowing the things from before.

It is. For me, it is.

... You're really all right with that? With... losing who you were?

Putting it that way makes it sound really serious, but... I don't think I've completely lost myself. I'd like to think that how I am now reflects something of who I would be even if I'd never forgotten those things that have happened before.

I think it would be serious. I... for me it would be.

You're human. It's different for you. My personality, my self... it's who I am because of what I remember. And I... can't lose that.

Is that how data works...?

So if it's gone, then...that's it? [He can see why that would be a scary thing.]

... yes.

If my data is erased... it's gone. I can't ever be recovered.

That's...that's terrible...

That's my reality. That's why I can't... stand to lose even one memory.

[Ventus can certainly understand a lot better now. He rests a hand upon one of Kagerou's fingers.]

[He shrugs, a little helplessly, not sure what else to say. He's missing a part of himself now. It won't be able to be recovered...]

[What does he do now?]

...you can always make new memories.

[The boy seems to have been doing some thinking himself before he finally speaks up again.]

[His expression suddenly turns distant. Bitter.]

... 'New memories will take their place'.

He said the same thing.

[That expression, that tone. The boy shivers.]

...who..?

... The reason I exist.

The last time I spoke with him... while he tried to reassure me I didn't need to be afraid of being erased.

...well that's not what I meant when I said you could still make new memories. They don't have to replace anything. They build up with the memories you have.

That's living. Isn't it? Building and experiencing?

... I wasn't allowed that.

Yeah- [He nods, but then pauses as he looks up again.]

What? Why not?

I'm only a prototype.

[He smiles faintly, but there's no humor or warmth in it.]

A disposable unit, to them. Meant to serve my purpose... and be gotten rid of.

[A prototype..? The boy looks a little confused at that, but he's soon frowning again at the further explanation offered.]

Well whoever they are, they're wrong! No one should decide things like that for others!

To them... I'm not really alive. So what should it matter, what I would decide for myself?

Well it does matter! And they're not here, are they? So they can't make that kind of decision for you either way.

[Well, that's... not the answer he was expecting. He blinks down at Ventus.]

... You really feel so strongly about it?

[He nods, folding his arms.]

I can't see how anyone wouldn't treat you like you were alive. You may be a lot bigger than me and made up of different things, but you still think and make decisions- you have feelings!

voice | trion's temple

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