re_alignment | [Transmitting from the junkpile as usual]

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✘ tf: animated | dirge (crau)

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So many mechs dieing around here. It feels like home. [He sighs wistfully.]

Speaking of dieing- I have a question. I want to know about sparkeaters. Someone mentioned there might be others around here who know about them. I'm very interested.

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I'm working on fixing it! [Little jerk.]

Autobots, eh? Eating their sparks can really do all that for me? [Okay, he is super interested now.] I knew they were useful for something!

[His wing go flat at the mention of Starscream.] My template is not here. And besides, he no longer possessed a spark either.

But... [And he looks thoughtful now] ...perhaps another Starscream would do the trick? They aren't all that different from what I've seen.

Oh, yeaaah. Def-netly. You can take my word fer it. [grin] I hear the sparks taste better when ya rough 'em up a li'l bit before ya eat 'em, though. So make sure ya beat up them Autobots real good before ya tear 'em open! The spark tastes sweeter if it's scared an' in pain, too. Juuuuus' an f- y - i an' all.

Yea! All Starscreams are da same. Obnoxious, annoyin', loudmouthed, stupid glitches.

[Dirge whips out a slightly damaged datapad and starts taking notes with a talon.]

Hmm... yes... rough them up. Scared and in pain. Got it.

[He smiles wide and saves the document.] It's worth a try then, don't you think? Starscreams are notoriously hard to kill though.

Heya, post videos of you takin' 'em out fer us all t'watch, too, okay?

Primus, I hear ya. Jus' when y'think the glitch is gonna git his head blasted off his fraggin' no-good shoulders, he just bounces right back up an' frags everyone off. Y'know what, go fer him first, then the Autobots, okay?

I don't think so. That wouldn't be very sneaky of me, would it? If word gets around I'm sure I'll be in big trouble. [Nice try, Frenzy.]

Good idea. He is the most likely to complete my programming, after all.

...Now I just have to find one.

Fraggin' film 'em, at least! You can show 'em to only a few people, how 'bout that? Pit, just me if ya wanna. [slooow grin] I'll give ya somethin' in return. [LIKE YOU CAN TURN ANYTHING DOWN.]

Dat shouldn't be too hard. He's always out flauntin' his scrap. Jus' yell at 'im over da link an' he'll answer, 'cause he likes da attention.

...I suppose I could. To keep for future posterity. And you'll give me something? [His optics light up] Even better!

That's true! Its just like dealing with Thundercracker.

Yup! I'll give ya somethin' really nice an' shiny an' cool an' whatever.

Ehhh. Thundercracker here ain't so bad, I guess.

Deal!

He's here? Why hasn't he posted over the link how superior he is yet?

Wha'? Why would he go an' do dat? Dat's more Screamer's thing. T.C. ain't done nuttin' like dat, prolly 'cause he knows he ain't scrap.

Of course it's more Starscream's thing- but that's where he got it from. He's the ego, after all.

What? He'd never ever think of himself as anything less then perfect!

Primus, yer all fraggin' weirdos.

Maybe in yer universe, yea, but the TC here ain't like dat.

I'd probably shoot yer TC in the mouth if I ever saw 'im.

Ergh... shots to the mouth hurt. A lot.

[The last time he'd had to have his internals completely remade.]

Aw, really? How 'bout I shoot ya in da mouf an' then ya tell me how da pain feels an' stuff!

Why? I just said it was painful.

But I suppose I wouldn't object if you'd like to climb in anyway. [Grin]

[Frenzy makes a gesture with his hand sweeping over the top of his head. Dirge probably doesn't understand what this means either.] Yer rea--

[...]

You tellin' me t'... climb... in yer mouth?

[HORRIFIED EXPRESSION] Ew, wat da frag, man!? Yer more damaged than I thought! Ugh, dat's gross!

Oh, please. Don't you usually live in someone's chest? What's the difference?

There is a huge diff'rence!

Holy frag, ya nutcase!

Okay, so its wet, but that's about it. [Grumble]

Really, you'd think a mech that lives inside another one wouldn't freak out about this sort of thing.

When ya eat somethin', it gets broken down an' slag an' ya idiot bein' eatin' means ya get DEAD! Dat's why it's so diff'rent an' dat's why yer fraggin' outta yer CPU!

Hey, but if ya want, go get yerself eatin' by onna dem monsters an' see wat i'm tawkin' about.

Hey. I didn't say I was going to eat you. You jumped to conclusions.

... Okay, things have gone from fraggin' insane ta really, really, deeply disturbin'.

I'm jus' gonna... go. Yea. An' wish a nice death on ya, yea? Okay...

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