AUDIO; PRIVATE CHANNEL

[percept]

[ Locked rather tightly to First Aid, later edited to include Vandal. ]

First Aid, do you have a moment? I need your assistance with a rather private matter.

[ Vandal. ]

[ A few minutes later, Vandal is added to the filter. ]

Ah... Karrie, can we speak?

Comments

[lifepersists]

Perceptor?

Of course. What can I help you with?

[percept]

Are you familiar at all with... interspecies relations?

[ Well this is. Awkward. ]

[lifepersists]

Er.

Not from personal experience, but I've treated a few mechs who were into that.

[percept]

Ah. Well.

A situation has arisen, and I am in need of... professional advisement. How familiar are you with human anatomy?

[lifepersists]

[ Oh, wow. Perceptor? This was pretty unexpected. He didn't strike him as a mech with those kinds of kinks. ]

Hmm. I've been learning. I probably wouldn't consider myself qualified to give a human an extensive surgery, but I assume considering the topic that won't be much of an issue...

[percept]

[ He's quiet for a moment, then sighs. ]

The human in question has expressed an interest in being... physical in the future. I'm not sure what to do.

[lifepersists]

Yes, that's certainly a problematic situation there. They're so small... Congratulations, though.

[ You can hear him banging around as he starts looking for anatomy references. ]

Obviously, the priority should be making it safe and pleasurable for both parties. I wouldn't recommend engaging in anything particularly rigorous right away. It should be doable, though. Have you seen a human's reproductive organs before?

[percept]

I have no interest in doing anything that would be uncomfortable for her.

[ There's an awkward pause. ]

Not in person, no. I've glanced very vaguely at general anatomy charts for the species, but never paid much attention to those... areas.

[lifepersists]

[ First Aid sighs. ]

It probably would be good to familiarize yourself with her body first. Maybe spend some time with her just laying together exposed. Unfortunately, I don't really have any data on how a cybertronian would react to a human's-- ah. Sexual fluids or vice versa. There's also the issue of charge...

Organics tend to react to electrical current... badly.

[percept]

I am more concerned with how she would react to cybertronian anatomy...

[ He really, really doesn't want to accidentally hurt her. ]

I may have a work around for the time being, but I will need to acquire a more long-term solution.

[lifepersists]

Obviously. Cybertronians are much hardier and all.

Work arounds may be the best you can do, but I'll need to do more research before I have a definite answer of advice. I'll need samples from both of you.

[ Pause. ]

So who is the lucky human?

[percept]

What variety of samples?

[ AWKWARD PAUSE IS AWKWARD. ]

Please keep this knowledge confidential. It's Vandal.

[lifepersists]

Yes, what kind of samples~?

[ It's the most innocent little tease ever.


Anyway. Perceptor and Vandal. One fine Wrecker and one of his good friends. At the very least, he has to keep his opinion professional. ]

Fluid samples, of course. Do you mind if I contact Vandal? I should probably give you both an examination.

[percept]

Right. Those kind of samples.

I will alter the feed to include her, give me a moment.