[ Oh, wow. Perceptor? This was pretty unexpected. He didn't strike him as a mech with those kinds of kinks. ]
Hmm. I've been learning. I probably wouldn't consider myself qualified to give a human an extensive surgery, but I assume considering the topic that won't be much of an issue...
Yes, that's certainly a problematic situation there. They're so small... Congratulations, though.
[ You can hear him banging around as he starts looking for anatomy references. ]
Obviously, the priority should be making it safe and pleasurable for both parties. I wouldn't recommend engaging in anything particularly rigorous right away. It should be doable, though. Have you seen a human's reproductive organs before?
It probably would be good to familiarize yourself with her body first. Maybe spend some time with her just laying together exposed. Unfortunately, I don't really have any data on how a cybertronian would react to a human's-- ah. Sexual fluids or vice versa. There's also the issue of charge...
Organics tend to react to electrical current... badly.
Obviously. Cybertronians are much hardier and all.
Work arounds may be the best you can do, but I'll need to do more research before I have a definite answer of advice. I'll need samples from both of you.
I'm sure you'll be making a similar noise later! When you're alone together.
[ HAHA. He thinks he's so witty. ]
No need to be embarrassed. I just need to see your genitalia. I think it's best we're sure you're not going to have a reaction before you start sticking things in places.
I have no idea what a mango is, so I think we're good!
I still think we should spot check some samples on your skin to see if you have a reaction. Now that would be an embarrassing death if you're not prepared.
They are the logical choice for offering advise on the matter, and the nature of medbay work ensures that they will adhere to doctor-patient confidentiality.
[ Perceptor is quiet for a moment, then clears his throat awkwardly. ]
We had to deal with this eventually. I figured it was best to address it early on and therefore be able to approach future situations from a position of knowledge and preparedness.
Mm, speaking of three. There's also the question of whether or not you plan to engage us all separately, or as a group. Each additional participant will complicate things...
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Of course. What can I help you with?
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[ Well this is. Awkward. ]
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Not from personal experience, but I've treated a few mechs who were into that.
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A situation has arisen, and I am in need of... professional advisement. How familiar are you with human anatomy?
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Hmm. I've been learning. I probably wouldn't consider myself qualified to give a human an extensive surgery, but I assume considering the topic that won't be much of an issue...
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The human in question has expressed an interest in being... physical in the future. I'm not sure what to do.
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[ You can hear him banging around as he starts looking for anatomy references. ]
Obviously, the priority should be making it safe and pleasurable for both parties. I wouldn't recommend engaging in anything particularly rigorous right away. It should be doable, though. Have you seen a human's reproductive organs before?
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[ There's an awkward pause. ]
Not in person, no. I've glanced very vaguely at general anatomy charts for the species, but never paid much attention to those... areas.
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It probably would be good to familiarize yourself with her body first. Maybe spend some time with her just laying together exposed. Unfortunately, I don't really have any data on how a cybertronian would react to a human's-- ah. Sexual fluids or vice versa. There's also the issue of charge...
Organics tend to react to electrical current... badly.
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[ He really, really doesn't want to accidentally hurt her. ]
I may have a work around for the time being, but I will need to acquire a more long-term solution.
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Work arounds may be the best you can do, but I'll need to do more research before I have a definite answer of advice. I'll need samples from both of you.
[ Pause. ]
So who is the lucky human?
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[ AWKWARD PAUSE IS AWKWARD. ]
Please keep this knowledge confidential. It's Vandal.
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[ It's the most innocent little tease ever.
Anyway. Perceptor and Vandal. One fine Wrecker and one of his good friends. At the very least, he has to keep his opinion professional. ]
Fluid samples, of course. Do you mind if I contact Vandal? I should probably give you both an examination.
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I will alter the feed to include her, give me a moment.
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Ah-
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No.
No no no no no. No no no.
No?
No.
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Well. This escalated quickly.
Okay. I suppose it was going to come up at some point I just. You realize I work in the medbay right? I'm gonna have to...
Ah. Okay. So what.
What do I need to do?
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For cybertronians.
He's just worried about your vagina.
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[ HAHA. He thinks he's so witty. ]
No need to be embarrassed. I just need to see your genitalia. I think it's best we're sure you're not going to have a reaction before you start sticking things in places.
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There's also the matter that I imagine Perceptor is fairly well endowed. Also the current. Do you have experience with electrical stimulation?
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[ She's moved into making incoherent sounds into her gloves. ]
NO?!
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I'll also see about finding a lubricant that would work well. Do you have any allergies?
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[ She just shakes her head. ]
Only allergic to mango.
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I still think we should spot check some samples on your skin to see if you have a reaction. Now that would be an embarrassing death if you're not prepared.
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[ Perceptor is quiet for a moment, then clears his throat awkwardly. ]
He requires... samples.
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Samples? So what, First Aid is going to be my-
My gynecologist?!
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I... suppose so, if you are willing.
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I just you know. I suppose there isn't really a 'good time' to discuss how to fuck a robot. Or three.
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Yeah that would be better.