re_alignment | [Video] this is probably what caused the death of the Disco Medallion

[Whirl has decided to give you lowly creatures a demonstration, since Megatronus's quadrant is currently sprouting a healthy crop of Multipedes of Squickiness. It is high time you all got to see a real Wrecker at work. So he's set up a camera, his face popping in to check the angle, before he jumps down to what he has dubbed Carnage Central. He's ready for his close up--wearing that awesome clock-necklace he got for that stupid human holiday. It looks, obviously, AWESOME. ]

Awright. Pay attention, pansies. Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.

[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]

[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]

We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness. Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.

You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite. Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.] Brain the size of a graphing calculator.

The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!

[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]

CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!

((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[I'd write out an entire block of HAHAHAs but it's best just to say "cackling like a loon and maybe a little something like this at Whirl"]

[Whirl commends your wit and laziness.]

[Or he would if he wasn't being shaken like a ragdoll.]

Like to see you do any better.

You askin' fer help there, no-face? 'Cause ya sure do need it.

Wreckers don't ask for anything other than for slag to be harder!

[Wait.]

[Badaft Repartee: Fail.]

Maybe some of yer friends'll come an' help yer aft out. But t'me, yer all ready a goner. Don't mind me, though; I'm gonna sit back an' watch that beastie make you his bitch.

Yeah?

[He manages a swipe at the camera. Because he cares just that much about you.]

And I sat on you. SO guess that'd make you this things sub-bitch.

[And now he's Jesse Pinkman. ~~ohgod I hope you get that reference~~]

[OH PFFT]

I still owned yer aft an' won dat fight! [HE TOTALLY DID]

Hey, but maybe if ya ask reaaaal nicely, I'll come over there an' blast yer head off. Yanno, so's ya don't have t'suffer much.

You from one of them opposite worlds? I fraggin' sat on you. That's 'I win' times 1000.

[Whirl math.]

With our luck you'd kill this thing then I'd have to pretend to be all grateful and slag.

[HE IS JUST GOING TO IGNORE THE SITTING COMMENT PLS DON'T REMIND HIM]

Ain't no luck needed. Piece o' oil cake takin' dat fragger out. An' you could thank me by shootin' yerself in the optic. Sounds 'bout even to me!

[Remind remind remind poke poke poke. He'd buttwiggle so you could remember better, but, well, Terrorpede.]

Killing one? Wow, aim high, why don't you?

[Because there's like a dozen. Or, in Whirl count: a squillion.]

Oh wait. You can't, can you? [That was a short joke.]

[NO SHUT UP LALALALALA]

[But you do earn a very annoyed sneer] Remind me t'blow a hole in yer aft once the Firstforged come scrapin' yer remains off the ground. Assumin' there's anythin' left of you's.

[Make him. /trollface]

What? You mean your processor's that feeble ya gotta be reminded who you hate?

[Sniffle.]

Thought I was speshul.

[FINE MAYBE HE WILL......... ONE DAY.]

Nah, jus' means I got other people in line who take more priority over you's.

But, yanno, watchin' you bite it is always worth da break.

[Whirl will be marking his calendar like =3 every day till Frenzy does. That's either a kissy face or a reminder of the view the Decepticon had to face when Whirl sat on him. Frenzy will never know.]

Then your priorities are stupid. Nobody's more priority than me.

[Whirl that is sad you sad little psychoman.]

Yea, yer right. Which is why I'm gonna take me a couple more minutes jus' t'sit back an' watch ya die. [big ole smile as he reclines back and enjoys the view]

[Roast in Hell, Whirl's ass.]

[Video] this is probably what caused the death of the Disco Medallion

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