[Video] this is probably what caused the death of the Disco Medallion

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Whirl has decided to give you lowly creatures a demonstration, since Megatronus's quadrant is currently sprouting a healthy crop of Multipedes of Squickiness. It is high time you all got to see a real Wrecker at work. So he's set up a camera, his face popping in to check the angle, before he jumps down to what he has dubbed Carnage Central. He's ready for his close up--wearing that awesome clock-necklace he got for that stupid human holiday. It looks, obviously, AWESOME.  ]

Awright. Pay attention, pansies.   Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.

[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a  gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]

[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]

We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness.   Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.

You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite.  Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.]  Brain the size of a graphing calculator. 

The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!

[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]

CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!

((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))

Comments

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

[Oh god Whirl you're such a confusing mech. His eyebrows are now definitely raised.]

Whirl! How many times does this keep happening to--nevermind, where are you?

[Video]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Frag. Camera's still rolling. ]

Uh. Got it under control. Just, you know, going for style points.

[You buy that, right?]

[Voice for now][Action]

[mccrane]

[Since the reports have started coming in he's been out on patrol, listening carefully for signs of distress. Whirl's report of course, doesn't seem distressful at first...but he's also pinpointed a particularly thick area of monsters. McCrane is already on his way when it becomes obvious that things are going south for the helicopter...]

Do you have any backup?

[He's not going to ask if you require any--he knows what the answer would be, and is already prepped to ignore it.]

[Voice for now][Action]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Whirl has had better moments. Worse moments, too, but definitely better.]

Backup is for losers!!

[Which translates to: of course not. Whirl ain't no loser.]

[Video]

[kingofthetvworld]

I am now informed.

[KNOWLEDGE IS POWER]

[Video] /dying

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Yeah well, uh, don't try this level of awesome your first time out.

[This is the SUCK level of awesome.]

[dinnerdate]

Whirl! Are you... Uh. Did you need help?

[somewhat locked bc you try locking a feed when being whipped around by your bling]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

You!


You could use some practice being awesome.

[That would be a 'yes'.]

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

[I'd write out an entire block of HAHAHAs but it's best just to say "cackling like a loon and maybe a little something like this at Whirl"]

[video]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Whirl commends your wit and laziness.]

[Or he would if he wasn't being shaken like a ragdoll.]

Like to see you do any better.

[Video]

[organ_pharming]

Interesting specimen. I wonder if it eats its prey whole or bit by bit?

[Video]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Whyn't you come with a bottle of barbecue sauce and find out!

[Because you're all plump and delicious. Whirl's all stringy and probably gamey.]

[docbot]

... Well, you've certainly got the Wrecker methodology down.

[He's not going to offer assistance yet, on the basis that most of the Wreckers he knows don't take to that well until they've been the one to ask first.]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Heh more like they stole it from me.

[Royalties! He wants royalties.]

[Video]

[megatronicpolarity]

Primus...

[Sigh. Some day he'll figure out what terrible thing he's done to deserve all of these loudmouth show-offs in his ranks, and then he'll stop doing it... where anyone can see him doing it, at least.]

You were doing well, until you let that one bite you. For your next stunt I suggest you try not dying.

[Dying creates a lot of extra work for him, you know. Don't do it!]

[Video]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Y-you're not proud of your very own pet Wrecker?]

[And why does everyone show up right when things get unawesome?]

[He will redeem himself with Manly Dialogue.]

Why don't you ask something hard. [Not dying is easy. He's been doing that for a few million years.]

[Action]

[re_alignednpcs]

Worse than watching its comrades being killed by the loud, grey-blue mech - which isn't all that bad to witness in the first place, because terrorpedes are not acquainted with any emotion that even resembles empathy - is watching Whirl do so while wearing that maddening, flashy little gold object around his neck. Something about the way the clock glints in the low light is driving it into a rage.

By chance, it manages to hook the object with its jaws. Now it's going to eat both it and its wearer if it has to beat the both of them into unrecognizable, sparking piles of circuits first.

"SKRREEEEE!" it shrieks, slamming Whirl into the ground.

It's not the most intelligent conversationalist, but it's at least at about Whirl's level.

[Action] also I apologize for Whirl's terrible, uh , everything.

[whirlybird_of_prey]

See, the thing is, nothing with a brain module that small could possibly conceive of the sheer amount of Swag and Style that that clocklace gives off.

Probably can't even wrap its hideous mind around the word 'clocklace' Or 'gorefetti' for that matter.

Know how dumb these things are? It slams Whirl to the ground, on his back. Whirl. The robot with

...guns in his chassis.

It is time for badaftery of the highest degree.

"Welcome to the gun show, ugly."

[originaldragoon]

And that is a very good example as to why one should not wear loose jewelry in battle...

[whirlybird_of_prey]

Thanks for the fashion tip. [He'd slow clap but he's sorta got a fist full of terrorpede.]

video;

[showboater]

Wow, that was impressive.

[Impressively dumb.]

video;

[whirlybird_of_prey]

You think you could do any better?

[Seriously? With that shirt? You got nothing on his clocklace.]

[raceme]

Eh...very... informative

Are you still alive? need any help?

[whirlybird_of_prey]

I'm....good.


[He can still talk. That's something!]

[video]

[rstlsslegsyndrm]

[ENJOY THE COLD LOOK, WHIRL. ENJOY THE COLD LOOK.]

Please tell me someone has been dispatched and is en route to come pick you up.

[video]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[He would if the image would stay still.]

I got this.

[video]

[cliffjumper]

Wow, impressive.

[Cliffjumper smirks and then shrugs.]

Not that I ain't done similar crap, but ya know... Usually I don't go around recording it.

[Since the tentacle creature in one of the caves along Vector Prime's gorge was an emergency request for help, that doesn't count. And he didn't know it was in there.]

[video]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

It'll be fine after editing!

[Fraggit.]