[Video] this is probably what caused the death of the Disco Medallion

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Whirl has decided to give you lowly creatures a demonstration, since Megatronus's quadrant is currently sprouting a healthy crop of Multipedes of Squickiness. It is high time you all got to see a real Wrecker at work. So he's set up a camera, his face popping in to check the angle, before he jumps down to what he has dubbed Carnage Central. He's ready for his close up--wearing that awesome clock-necklace he got for that stupid human holiday. It looks, obviously, AWESOME.  ]

Awright. Pay attention, pansies.   Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.

[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a  gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]

[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]

We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness.   Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.

You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite.  Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.]  Brain the size of a graphing calculator. 

The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!

[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]

CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!

((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))

Comments

[Action]

[re_alignednpcs]

Worse than watching its comrades being killed by the loud, grey-blue mech - which isn't all that bad to witness in the first place, because terrorpedes are not acquainted with any emotion that even resembles empathy - is watching Whirl do so while wearing that maddening, flashy little gold object around his neck. Something about the way the clock glints in the low light is driving it into a rage.

By chance, it manages to hook the object with its jaws. Now it's going to eat both it and its wearer if it has to beat the both of them into unrecognizable, sparking piles of circuits first.

"SKRREEEEE!" it shrieks, slamming Whirl into the ground.

It's not the most intelligent conversationalist, but it's at least at about Whirl's level.

[Action] also I apologize for Whirl's terrible, uh , everything.

[whirlybird_of_prey]

See, the thing is, nothing with a brain module that small could possibly conceive of the sheer amount of Swag and Style that that clocklace gives off.

Probably can't even wrap its hideous mind around the word 'clocklace' Or 'gorefetti' for that matter.

Know how dumb these things are? It slams Whirl to the ground, on his back. Whirl. The robot with

...guns in his chassis.

It is time for badaftery of the highest degree.

"Welcome to the gun show, ugly."

[Action] Never apologize for the glory! Do feel free to manhandle Whirl's new buddy as you like. ♥

[re_alignednpcs]

Are Swag and Style edible? If not, it wouldn't be interested in them even if it did have the capacity to understand the words. (Given that the embodiment of both concepts is tantalizingly close to its jaws, however, the answer is probably 'yes, you can make a meal out of them.')

Whirl speaks, and its attention is momentarily drawn away from the shiny clock. It hisses at the mech in response.

The creature twists around, presenting its heavier dorsal plates to Whirl and the imminent bombardment - then it lets gravity take over. Have its best attempt at a body slam.

[Action]

[whirlybird_of_prey]

[Everyone's always after me Lucky Char--uh, clocklace.]

[Wow, that is a whole lot of ugly in motion. Whirl is impressed. For about a klik, before he opens fire, rounds pinging off the dorsal plating.]

Fraggit. Never heard of 'soft underbelly', have you?

[That's all right. Just means Whirl's gonna have to ratchet up the badaft.]

[He'll start by trying to shift modes and fly out from under the descending pede-yness.]