Whirl (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
whirlybird_of_prey) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
re_alignment2013-01-20 11:40 am
whirlybird_of_prey) wrote in re_alignment2013-01-20 11:40 am
Entry tags:
[Video] this is probably what caused the death of the Disco Medallion
[Whirl has decided to give you lowly creatures a demonstration, since Megatronus's quadrant is currently sprouting a healthy crop of Multipedes of Squickiness. It is high time you all got to see a real Wrecker at work. So he's set up a camera, his face popping in to check the angle, before he jumps down to what he has dubbed Carnage Central. He's ready for his close up--wearing that awesome clock-necklace he got for that stupid human holiday. It looks, obviously, AWESOME. ]
Awright. Pay attention, pansies. Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.
[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]
[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]
We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness. Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.
You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite. Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.] Brain the size of a graphing calculator.
The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!
[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]
CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!
((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))
Awright. Pay attention, pansies. Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.
[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]
[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]
We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness. Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.
You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite. Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.] Brain the size of a graphing calculator.
The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!
[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]
CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!
((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))
[that would make him extra hot]
[Which is to say it's hated him for a long time and death is coming, he can sense it. Or maybe he's just getting hungry.
Dead End gives his swords a twist when the thing moves far more than he'd wanted, swords popping loose and... Whirl colliding into him.
Dodging is for people who don't like to smile!That could have gone better, but at least Whirl was free. They'd probably be eaten in one bite. Probably.]
Ow.
[you could barbecue things on him then]
[Preferably when it wasn't looking.]
[Oof. Dead End you are not comfy.]
That is the worst war cry ever, Dead End. Gotta work on that.
[whirl you're just so giving]
[Not that he's actually tried it, but he can't see it working all that well. It being life and all.
He squirms under Whirl, giving the other mech a push. You aren't that comfy either.]
We should move before it eats us...
[Preferably before then.]
And I don't have a war cry.
[of asswhuppin's. You bet!]
[He means him, not the rearing up, screeching terrorpede.]
Eh, I was thinking let it eat us and then shoot our way out.
Be fraggin' EPIC.
[yes that too. all the kinds of giving]
[Later. When they aren't about to be killed horribly. Even if it won't work.]
Wh- Let it?! What if it chews?!