Whirl (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
whirlybird_of_prey) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
re_alignment2013-01-20 11:40 am
whirlybird_of_prey) wrote in re_alignment2013-01-20 11:40 am
Entry tags:
[Video] this is probably what caused the death of the Disco Medallion
[Whirl has decided to give you lowly creatures a demonstration, since Megatronus's quadrant is currently sprouting a healthy crop of Multipedes of Squickiness. It is high time you all got to see a real Wrecker at work. So he's set up a camera, his face popping in to check the angle, before he jumps down to what he has dubbed Carnage Central. He's ready for his close up--wearing that awesome clock-necklace he got for that stupid human holiday. It looks, obviously, AWESOME. ]
Awright. Pay attention, pansies. Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.
[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]
[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]
We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness. Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.
You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite. Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.] Brain the size of a graphing calculator.
The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!
[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]
CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!
((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))
Awright. Pay attention, pansies. Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.
[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]
[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]
We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness. Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.
You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite. Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.] Brain the size of a graphing calculator.
The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!
[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]
CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!
((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))
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For losers.
[Whuh?] What kind of kinky fragger are you? [I mean, Whirl knows he's sexy as hell, but wow, keep that stuff for after battle.]
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[WAIT WHAT.] Like literal cannonballs, cogs for brains. [Stupid robots, ignoring obvious offers of help. Whatever, Whirl's loss!]
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No. No. All this awesome is mine. Get your own. Awesomehog.
Yeah? Hey, some mechs like it kind of rough. [Just sayin' Don't hate.]
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What is with all you damn robots and thinkin' I'm makin' passes at you?! Not interested! [Stop rolling your eyes, Marvelous, it makes you look like a teenage girl.]
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[So there.]
...must be all that bare chest.
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Do robots even care about bare chests?
[Was it really even that bare? He fiddles with the buttons.]
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I care about everything. [Everything that could possibly be annoying.]
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Yeah, yeah, get back to dying, rustbucket.
[He reaches up to turn off the feed.]