Whirl (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
whirlybird_of_prey) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
re_alignment2013-01-20 11:40 am
whirlybird_of_prey) wrote in re_alignment2013-01-20 11:40 am
Entry tags:
[Video] this is probably what caused the death of the Disco Medallion
[Whirl has decided to give you lowly creatures a demonstration, since Megatronus's quadrant is currently sprouting a healthy crop of Multipedes of Squickiness. It is high time you all got to see a real Wrecker at work. So he's set up a camera, his face popping in to check the angle, before he jumps down to what he has dubbed Carnage Central. He's ready for his close up--wearing that awesome clock-necklace he got for that stupid human holiday. It looks, obviously, AWESOME. ]
Awright. Pay attention, pansies. Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.
[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]
[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]
We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness. Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.
You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite. Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.] Brain the size of a graphing calculator.
The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!
[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]
CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!
((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))
Awright. Pay attention, pansies. Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.
[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]
[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]
We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness. Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.
You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite. Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.] Brain the size of a graphing calculator.
The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!
[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]
CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!
((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))
[Action]
[McCrane should feel lucky that Whirl allowed him this opportunity to showcase his Mad Shootin' Skillz. That's right, earth-robit, be honored!]
My awesome bliiiiiiiinng!
[Whirl falls, face first, after his falling necklace. Don't worry. His face can take it.]
[Action]
[He can't get under you in time to catch you, but he does pause to reflexively reach out...wincing when you hit the ground.]
Death is harder to repair.
[Its not a good one-liner, but it helps that he's entirely sincere when he says it, especially when it's punctuated by another shot at a tentacle that's reaching for you.]