re_alignment | [video]

[SUPER SERIOUS MCCOY HERE]

I'm not going to state the obvious, and how ridiculous this entire mess is. I'm not going to make this too long either. But now that many of you robots are human, or... dogs of some sort, you may have yourselves a few or a galaxy-load's worth of questions.

I am here to answer those questions, to the best of my abilities, as well as provide you with a document of basic human common sense.

I'm sure many of you Cybertronians are used to rock 'em and sock 'em sort of business, but unfortunately, as a human, your skin is not metal and your bones are not made from steel. If you are struck hard enough, you will not only be in pain, but you may break your skin, bruise it, or something more serious. You cannot consume oil or energon or gasoline, and you will find your body doing things that are either confusing or downright horrifying by your standards. But instead of freaking out and doing something stupid, read over this document or ask me how I can help.

I'm a doctor, and part of my job is to educate people and my patients with basic and important health information, especially when you people can't tell the difference between phalanges and phlegm.

That and while I'm more than happy to use my talents God graced me with, I'd rather not see so many of you coming in from an easily avoidable accident. Like, say, sticking your fingers in an electrical socket as if this could recharge you.

It will not.

[Then, if you so wish, he uploads the document. It's titled "sonowyouarehuman101" and while it is very clear, concise, and easy to follow, there is a nice layer of smarm for you to enjoy as well.]

As for you dogs or the rest of you who have been altered to an animal form, you're on your own. God speed, Fidos and Mews of this world.

[Locked to Solus]

So, care sharing with the rest of the class what might be going on here? Do you guys got any ideas? I haven't heard much. Of anythin'. I don't know if that's good or bad. But I can understand why, if this is something serious, you'd rather have complete confirmation and understanding over the matter before unleashing information unto the public. Mass hysteria, maybe.

Still. If there's a way I can help, let me know. Your people are turning into my people. Maybe I won't be so useless.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I guess it's a good thing I always avoid fighting in the first place. I'm not a fan of... "rock 'em sock 'em".

[That sounds like some bad rhyme for a toy. Ugh.]

This will definitely help. Not that I stick my fingers in electrical sockets anyway. And I, uh. Never apologized for the whole... thing in the medbay.

[With the hyperventilating and shaking and all of that stuff that he is never, ever going to mention to anyone ever.]

So uhm. Sorry. And thanks?

I'm not much of a soldier either. But as long as this helps you to avoid any serious injuries, I've done my part.

[And, yeah, okay, maybe a small part of this post was made with you and Knock Out flailing and screaming in the medbay - and then Ambulon coming in with a busted nose and nearly concussed.]

Edited (u ever do tags when ur half awake well i do) 2013-03-15 03:08 (UTC)

Already have enough serious injuries to last me, with the... eye. And all. But if it means less people get hurt, it's a good idea. Especially since I'm pretty sure some of the other Cybertronians don't know this stuff about humans.

[Fracas got lucky and happens to live with one that knows the basics and was willing to put up with his squishiness.]

It's just kind of startling, being suddenly. This.

'Bout your eye - You want me to take a look at it? If you've got yourself a cataract, I'm not sure there's much I can do in terms of surgery. Don't got the proper equipment or medication. [ANNOYED SIGH] I just hope the Lambda drops a clinic here someday. Wouldn't that be nice?

[hmm] It's understandable. I can imagine it's a shock for everyone involved. But, hopefully, we'll get answers soon. If not, I've the mind to go to the Firstforged myself and just ask face to face. [GODS SCHMODS]

O-oh, that's all right. It was- well, I can't fight but they sent me into battle anyway and the eye... is what happened. It's been like this for a while. [Like several centuries.] Though the Lambda dropping a clinic wouldn't be a bad thing anyway. And I think it dropped a home improvement store once, so you never know?

Good luck, if you get a hold of one. I don't have much luck talking to them, myself. [Probably because he was arguing with Megatronus.] I hope things get to normal again soon, though. It would definitely be easier on you too, without a bunch of giant robots turning human and injuring themselves.

What? Usually when something is broken with mechanics or technological mumbo jumbo, you replace it. There's no way to replace your eye with a new one? Or are there no eyes for replacement?

[hum] Wonder if fixing your eye in this body would... Hmm. Nevermind. [sigh] I hear they're a hard lot to get in contact with. Hopefully one of 'em will drop somethin' soon.

Where I'm from, we have a lot of biomechanisms. They're... kind of like your organs. You can't just make new ones, and replacing them takes a lot of work. And it's been so long that there's nothing to be done about my optic anyway.

Woah. I promise, after centuries without the eye, I'm kind of used to the daily struggles. You don't have to go to all that trouble for me... [He wouldn't know what to do if someone did, in fact.] Hopefully. I mean, they usually tell us when something's weird and they know how to fix it.

Really? [you can't see his eyebrow climb, but it's happening] Growing new organs is actually quite simple in my universe. Usually just takes one pill capsule.

Well, I suppose if your handicap isn't bothering you, then leave it be. But even if I could replace or fix it, I don't have the tools. [insufferable sigh]

You have organ-growing capsules? Woah. They definitely didn't have those where I'm from. But yeah, we can't just... grow new optics. One of the officers, he-he lost an optic. Ended up wearing an eyepatch.

Kind of a downside to living practically in the wilderness, huh? I hope that's not always the case, though. Say, what all are you missing? I might be able to make something similar, when I get back to normal. I'm sort of a mechanic and I. Well I ought to replay you, for the help.

Modern medical miracle. Back in the day, you'd have to have transplants or merely suffer the consequences. The Dark Medical Ages, I call 'em.

Hmm, there's... There's an endless amount of instruments and devices I need, to be honest. But, I can certainly write you a list, if you're feelin' adventurous. Hell, you might even find parts of 'em in the junkpile you can bring to me.

Yeah, I think I'm from closer to that. Things really get so advanced with human medical tech? How weird. Never expected that.

We'll have to see. And it's the least I could do, after you had to deal with... all of that. [The screaming and hysterics and everything.]

It took some time, to be honest. Glad I wasn't around during those times, though. God, have you seen an old needle and syringe? Nearly barbaric.

If ya can't, findin' food and liquids safe for human consumption would be great, too. I'd like to stock up as well as deliver 'em to some of the younger folk here. [The idea of kids digging in the junk pile makes his skin crawl.]

I have. I-I mean, not in person, but I've seen them on the Internet. Sometimes Cybertronian tech can be pretty awful too, though.

That shouldn't be too hard. And my cab and trunk should be able to fit a lot, if I run across anything in bulk. You're ah... you're worried about the kids around here, huh? [Fracas doesn't do that much. Worrying about Kay, sure, but most of the others have Autobot backup.]

Your friend, Knock Out, has a Goddamn saw installed in his arm, if I recall.

Of course. Someone's gotta look after the rugrats. I'm not sayin' some of you robots haven't helped out, but they're kids. Human kids. They need some human guidance, too. And then there's that one named Sari - Jesus.

Well, yeah. Where else is he going to keep it? Besides, it's for combat and medical use. We, uh, tend to me multi-purpose.

Oh, is she the one with that whole... jet pack thing? Yeah, she seems like. Well, like she needs an army to keep up with her. There just haven't been that many adult humans around, really.

It just reminds me of a horror movie, s'all I'm sayin'. [innocent shrug~]

[sigh] See, that's what I'm afraid of. D'ya know what Firstforged she's assigned to, by any chance?

I don't think I've ever seen a horror movie with someone that has a saw arm. That would be kind of interesting to see.

Not a clue which one she's with, but uh. Maybe it's Nexus; his quadrant seems kind of... the way she is.

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