[video]

[adamndoctor]

[SUPER SERIOUS MCCOY HERE]

I'm not going to state the obvious, and how ridiculous this entire mess is. I'm not going to make this too long either. But now that many of you robots are human, or... dogs of some sort, you may have yourselves a few or a galaxy-load's worth of questions.

I am here to answer those questions, to the best of my abilities, as well as provide you with a document of basic human common sense.

I'm sure many of you Cybertronians are used to rock 'em and sock 'em sort of business, but unfortunately, as a human, your skin is not metal and your bones are not made from steel. If you are struck hard enough, you will not only be in pain, but you may break your skin, bruise it, or something more serious. You cannot consume oil or energon or gasoline, and you will find your body doing things that are either confusing or downright horrifying by your standards. But instead of freaking out and doing something stupid, read over this document or ask me how I can help.

I'm a doctor, and part of my job is to educate people and my patients with basic and important health information, especially when you people can't tell the difference between phalanges and phlegm.

That and while I'm more than happy to use my talents God graced me with, I'd rather not see so many of you coming in from an easily avoidable accident. Like, say, sticking your fingers in an electrical socket as if this could recharge you.

It will not.

[Then, if you so wish, he uploads the document. It's titled "sonowyouarehuman101" and while it is very clear, concise, and easy to follow, there is a nice layer of smarm for you to enjoy as well.]

As for you dogs or the rest of you who have been altered to an animal form, you're on your own. God speed, Fidos and Mews of this world.

[Locked to Solus]

So, care sharing with the rest of the class what might be going on here? Do you guys got any ideas? I haven't heard much. Of anythin'. I don't know if that's good or bad. But I can understand why, if this is something serious, you'd rather have complete confirmation and understanding over the matter before unleashing information unto the public. Mass hysteria, maybe.

Still. If there's a way I can help, let me know. Your people are turning into my people. Maybe I won't be so useless.

Comments

[Video]

[robotfightclub]

[An eyebrow is raised. As much as she appreciates all the effort, there's just something about all of this that bothers her.]

Just because we're human now, doesn't mean we're suddenly idiots. It's not like we didn't have common sense before or anything.

[Well... most of them did, anyway.]

[Video]

[adamndoctor]

[You need to work on your eyebrow raise. McCoy is an expert, he gives that a measly 5.]

I'd rather play it better safe than sorry.

Emphasis on "safe".

[Video]

[robotfightclub]

Really? You couldn't say "Hey, I have something that can help you" without insulting our intelligence? Thanks, feel safer already.

audio;

[expendablemechanic]

I guess it's a good thing I always avoid fighting in the first place. I'm not a fan of... "rock 'em sock 'em".

[That sounds like some bad rhyme for a toy. Ugh.]

This will definitely help. Not that I stick my fingers in electrical sockets anyway. And I, uh. Never apologized for the whole... thing in the medbay.

[With the hyperventilating and shaking and all of that stuff that he is never, ever going to mention to anyone ever.]

So uhm. Sorry. And thanks?

[audio]

[adamndoctor]

I'm not much of a soldier either. But as long as this helps you to avoid any serious injuries, I've done my part.

[And, yeah, okay, maybe a small part of this post was made with you and Knock Out flailing and screaming in the medbay - and then Ambulon coming in with a busted nose and nearly concussed.]

[audio]

[expendablemechanic]

Already have enough serious injuries to last me, with the... eye. And all. But if it means less people get hurt, it's a good idea. Especially since I'm pretty sure some of the other Cybertronians don't know this stuff about humans.

[Fracas got lucky and happens to live with one that knows the basics and was willing to put up with his squishiness.]

It's just kind of startling, being suddenly. This.

[dinnerdate]

[BUT THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AT ALL. Have sad puppy eyes.]

[adamndoctor]

What?

Did you do something?

Did you tear up all the toilet paper or something?

What is it?

[dinnerdate]

[Dead End blinks, rather confused. What?]

Toilet paper?

video;

[thxforthememories]

Is being human really that difficult?

[video]

[adamndoctor]

I've seen a considerable amount of questions and concerns flying around on the link. Figured I'd add my two cents. Figured I was the only one with two cents to spare.

That, and my first robot-turned-human came in with a busted nose and nearly suffering a concussion.

[video]

[thxforthememories]

What do I need to know, then? Kay told me to eat cake things.

[And that's about it.]

[voice]

[sword_redemption]

You forgot a chapter on pants.

[Drift hates pants.]

[audio]

[adamndoctor]

I'm a doctor, not a fashionista.

I figured you'd all catch on to this clothing trend rather quickly, however. Having noticed humans are rarely without clothes or wearing something when they're out and about.

[but, hey, he'll give you a break] Afraid I'm fresh out of pants. You check the Junkpile?

[audio] how long have you been waiting to use that 'I'm a doctor, not a ____' line?

[sword_redemption]

I was talking less about the fashion and more about the, uh,_{binding and chafing}

I don't know. I've seen 'bathing suits' on Earth. [Not a lot of coverage.]

Me? [AHAHAHAHAH nothankprimus.] No, I'm fine. I don't need pants. [Ever.]

[Video]

[wrex_it_krogan]

What do you say about raccoons.

[Video]

[adamndoctor]

Medically related?

No idea.

Don't eat any garbage. I know the urge may be strong, but I highly recommend avoiding it if you can.

[Video]

[neverputincharge]

Gee, thanks. Coulda used this three days ago.

[Video]

[adamndoctor]

Ah, you're right. I've only been sitting here amusing myself with your antics the past few days instead of, you know, working, and thinking maybe, juuust maybe, this probably wouldn't be necessary.

Just maybe.

[Video]

[raceme]

We are human, not suddenly stupids.

[Video]

[adamndoctor]

I wouldn't call you stupid, Heavens no. Just... "inexperienced".

[Blurr, have you looked at the link lately? GOLLY.]

[treacherous_widow]

Got it, no fights and not acrobatics off high ledges.

[Otherwise, the document did clear up some questions she had at least.]

So what exactly are human bones made of anyway?

[adamndoctor]

Good.

In general: calcium, collagen, minerals, protein, marrow.

Why? Should I be concerned or is this just asked for curiosity's sake?

[Locked - voice only]

[solianpolarity]

[She answers eventually, and when she does she sounds rather busy.]

That would be the Lambda's doing, once more. Given the nature of this sort of Chaos, it was unlikely to have been anything else.

Feel free to assist the transformed, while you can. They seem to need some measure of instruction for now, until we can remove the effects of the Lambda and return them to their proper forms.

[Locked - voice only]

[adamndoctor]

[He sounds concerned when he finally responds]

Right. I'll do what I can. Best of luck on your end. 'Cause I'm sure we'd all love to get back to our normal selves. Well, at least that gives me less patients that way. [He'd ask more questions, but you do sound very busy and, well, he's tired anyway.]