re_alignment | video || trion's temple

The Firstforged claim they're some kind of gods. What an exaggeration that is.

[Thank you, Kagerou. And don't you sound bitter today. Granted, he's been bitter about all this since Perceptor vanished... but recently, everything has sort of come to a head. He can't keep it down anymore.]

They want us to build. They want us to run their world, and behave like peaceable little children.

And what do we get in return?

Murdered. Lied to. Misdirected. Our work ruined. Criminals running amok. Empty promises.

[As he says the last words, his fingers clench around his arm, around the Glyph.]

They want us to trust them -- but these Firstforged are nothing like they say they are. They tell us they can't control who leaves and who stays, but, then they turn around and tell us we're safe with their markings! They don't care one bit, what happens to us! If they did...

[If they did, I would be able to do what I was promised I could...]

[His hand lifts, revealing the very elaborate, intricate Glyph -- his status is showing, and boy does he look unhappy about it.]

If their reward for our service is loss and death, I would rather not have their mark at all!

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[ This broadcast makes him sad to see. ]

Kageoru...

What...what brought this on?

good bots are gone i was lied to i changed everything i am to save them and it failed i hate them

[ Wing looks dismayed, the grief seeping more and more into his expression, through the veil of public pleasantness. He knows he doesn't have to hide it with Kagerou.]

I know they're gone. Vandal ^too. [ His vocalizer cracks midway through. He's still processing that loss. I hurts to say it.]

What--what do you mean? Lied to?

... what?

[That one he hadn't heard about. Good job, Wing.]

She -- no. You're... no, she's not.

[And those other questions have flown right out of his head.]

I thought... she was just resting still...

[ Oooooh no. ]

[ He just stares for a moment, speechless and pained, because he's still raw in his own grief. He hasn't hit the anger stage yet. ]

[ When he speaks his voice his small, the words hesitant, as if denying their existence even as they come out. ]

_{Drift told me. He hasn't seen her. Couldn't find her.}

Edited 2013-05-05 19:58 (UTC)

[He only listens to about half of those words before balling himself back up in his corner again.]

[It's just one failure after another. Nothing has gone as he was told it would. It's really all been for nothing, hasn't it?]

No. I don't -- I promised her...

[ And now Wing feels doubly--triply--bad. ]

Where are you Kagerou?

Can I come see you?

[ Because he understands, to some degree anyway. He feels like he failed them, like he let them down. He was trying to keep them safe and abandoned them instead...]

[He flicks his wings in a shrug. He's in his room in Trion's temple, huddled in a corner like he's trying to hide.]

Do as you like.

[Wing recognizes the room, and instantly knows where it is. He needs to do this, to feel like there's someone here he hasn't abandoned. ]

I'll come then. And visit. I. I've missed you.

... as you like.

[He'll just stay put. Bundled into a corner like an angsty teenager.]

[Wing's already on his way. He's troubled himself, but the level that Kagerou is upset bothers him even more. He's already lost Vandal and Ultra Magnus because he couldn't keep them from slipping into the darkness that was pulling them down. He simply cannot lose Kagerou too.]

[As usual, Wing comes in the window, his jet engines rattling the panes a little as he lands. He goes straight to the form huddled in the corner, kneeling, reaching out a hand to put it to Kagerou's shoulder.]

I. I'm sorry.

[The words carry sympathy. But beyond that, they hold guilt.]

[Sometime between the end of the video and Wing's arrival, he's found the tarp he usually tosses over Stumpy's head when the Acolyte is in the room. It's over his own head, now. Just to bundle up in something. If he pulls it tight, he can trick himself into thinking...]

[Then someone is there. Touching his shoulder. He doesn't look up.]

... what have you done, that I need to forgive...?

[He was supposed to be protecting people now.]

[The vision of Kagerou is a woeful one to say the least. Wing's concern momentarily pushes his own distress and grief to the back of his mind. ]

I. I was trying to save them, help them out of the dark places. But I was gone. [He wonders if his disappearance was the last straw. One too many in a line of painful circumstances.]

[He slips an around Kagerou's shoulder, tarp and all.]

Edited 2013-05-16 03:48 (UTC)

[It probably doesn't help that he's been this way for a while now. Honestly, he's never felt this hopeless before. It's not a good feeling, in the slightest.]

[And he barely twitches when the arm goes around him. He balls up a little tighter, at a loss.]

... being here doesn't make any difference. I... gave my freedom to them and it hasn't made any difference.

I feel like I failed him. I changed myself from him for nothing.

[Wing is falling down on the job, the most important one. Not the bar or the law committee, but friendship.]

[He kneels, leaning part of his frame against Kagerou's, trying to lend some comfort in the closeness.]

What do you mean, gave your freedom?

[Wing knows that tone, know of whom Kagerou speaks.] How did you fail him? Did you make him a promise that you broke?

[One of his hand reaches over, gripping onto any part of Wings's armor he can reach. With all the time he's lived here, he should be able to better cope with traumatic events... But this is so far out of his depth, he can't help but fall back into old patterns of dependency.]

I have to do as he says... If he orders something, I can't say no. He told me he wouldn't do anything... wouldn't do anything I would be against... But I don't know now.

[He shrinks a little, nodding.]

Twice now... I failed to live. I failed to be content... That's the only thing he ever asked of me! To live, to be happy! And I couldn't even do that...

[He really just...wants to gather Kagerou into his lap and hold him that way, warding off all the unkind the things that make him upset. But life is never that easy.]

Who? ...Alpha Trion? [He's guessing. And sort of hoping, because it could be worse. He thinks.]

Kagerou... [He just clutches the other mech harder.] You can't be that way all the time. Life doesn't permit it, and certainly not this place. He, as well as I, want you to be happy. If the happy times outweigh the bad times then you've still succeeded.

Yes. Him. The one who promised everything would be different.

[And the one who he now feels lied to him. The one he doesn't believe he can trust anymore.]

And if they don't? If they don't, then... then I've failed Shadowmaru after all!

Everything? Kagerou...what exactly did he promise?

[It's not that he disbelieves his friend, but as stated it seems too good to be true, even for Wing.]

[His voice is soft, comforting, but he tries to make a point within the consoling.] But if you punish yourself for failing him and feel unhappy in the process, how does that help? He'd want you to keep trying, right?

That... I would be more able to help. More able to look out for them. Shouldn't I also be able to keep them from vanishing, if that were true?

[That's how he's seen it, this whole time. How he thought things would be. Maybe he didn't think this through, all the way -- and it wouldn't be the first time he's acted before thinking.]

[He shrugs a little, bowing his head.]

I don't know. I -- I want to live. I want to make him proud. I want him here so I know all of this is right...

[Which may be the most childish sentiment he's spoken, so far.]

How long can I keep trying, if nothing ever seems to work?

video || trion's temple

[permavideo] /forever late

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