[Video] [TRANSMISSION ORIGINATING FROM: JUNKPILE]

[youhavebeenswindled]

[The feed opens to a cheerful looking Swindle relaxing on a chunk of metal, apparently totally at ease with being transported to another dimension and losing almost everything he owns. Oh yes, it's unfortunate that he's lost all of it, but there's no point in dwelling on it right? Time to move on to new things and adapt to the situation.]

Greetings Autobots, Decepticons alike! The name's Swindle, and I'm here to make you an offer! I am aware that many of you may have lost a weapon or two upon arriving in this marvellous world, and I'm perfectly willing to offer you a replacement weapon... for a price of course. I can also do weapon repairs for anyone who needs them, so I hope I can prove to you my devotion to good customer service in the future.

But this is not just a business call! Since we're all in this together, why don't you tell me a little about yourselves? I love meeting new people, and how often can I say I've met others from a completely different dimension? This goes for you organic types too!

[Besides, it's more beneficial to him to be friendly with everyone than enemies. Now if he had a Megatron to hide behind, things would be totally different.]

Comments

[youhavebeenswindled]

Ha, he sure does turn up everywhere doesn't he? Fitting that you would get him as your patron hmm?

[He's going to pay for that remark, he just knows it.]

[sparkless]

Excuse me? Fitting?! Exactly what is so fitting about me being stuck with him? [Now you've done it.]

[youhavebeenswindled]

[That's... it exactly.]

Oh nothing~

By the way, did I ever tell you about the two clones I have?

[sparkless]

Clones? [That effectively derails him.]

You found those two that got launched into a space bridge?

[youhavebeenswindled]

Well no...

I suppose I would have to tell you sooner or later, but I took the liberty of acquiring two new clones. One greedy, and the other is always jealous of... everything. I named them Dirge and Thrust, just because.

[And naturally you have no problems with that, right Starscream? 8D]

[sparkless]

...Acquiring? [Exactly where did Swindle get pieces of the all-spark? And his code?]

Greedy and jealous? They're obviously not mine then. Sounds like clones made from your personality, Swindle.

[youhavebeenswindled]

[It was an easier process than it sounds.]

Well they look like you, so I assume that they're yours. They're very useful, though they can be a little troublesome sometimes.

[sparkless]

[Grumble] I really doubt their usefulness. I made five and all they did was betray me.

[youhavebeenswindled]

Well, it is in their nature isn't it?

But the two I have work marvellously once you know how to manage with them.

[sparkless]

I don't know what you're talking about.

Ha, enjoy them then. I'm sure they'll eventually drive you crazy.

[youhavebeenswindled]

[Sure you don't.]

Oh they do it often, but I don't mind them too much, I like having body guards.

[He likes them more than you Starscream, but shhh.]

[sparkless]

Ah, I see. You made them for their muscle? [Yeah hold on a minute- he's just going to fleeeeex his arm.]

I'm not surprised. That's about all they're good for really. That and looking unnaturally handsome, of course.

[youhavebeenswindled]

Unnaturally handsome? I can't say I've noticed.

[Nope, they're not going that direction.]

But they are powerful and useful, so they're worth keeping around.

[sparkless]

Oh come on, its pretty obvious. They have all my proportions, after all. Unless you painted them ugly. Did you paint them ugly?

Also. ...Don't I get royalties or something on them?

[youhavebeenswindled]

Like I said, I can't say I've noticed. But since you're curious, they're green and red~

[HAHAHAHA royalties.]

Royalties? Nope, I don't think so.

[sparkless]

Ouch, you did paint them ugly. Green makes you look fat. Everybody knows that.

Red is okay. As long as you didn't put it with something awful, like blue and white.

Yeah, well I do think so. You're infringing on my copyright!

[youhavebeenswindled]

Oh I think you pull it off just fine, especially considering how Dirge is.

[Snicker.]

You don't have a copyright!

[Hasbro disagrees.]

But they're mine now, if you want them you'll have to pay for them.

[sparkless]

Don't you dare compare me to a fat clone!

[Stomps his foot] The pit, I don't! That's my visage you're copying! I demand you pay for the rights!

And who said I wanted them?

[youhavebeenswindled]

[He can compare you to anyone if he wants to.]

Pay with what?

But like I said, they belong to me now.

[He's not paying a dime Starscream.]

[sparkless]

Oh, I'm sure you're working on getting your grubby little servos on whatever passes for currency around here.

Great! Fine! I hope they betray you too!

[youhavebeenswindled]

Good, I'm glad we've got that settled.