[Video] [TRANSMISSION ORIGINATING FROM: JUNKPILE]

[youhavebeenswindled]

[The feed opens to a cheerful looking Swindle relaxing on a chunk of metal, apparently totally at ease with being transported to another dimension and losing almost everything he owns. Oh yes, it's unfortunate that he's lost all of it, but there's no point in dwelling on it right? Time to move on to new things and adapt to the situation.]

Greetings Autobots, Decepticons alike! The name's Swindle, and I'm here to make you an offer! I am aware that many of you may have lost a weapon or two upon arriving in this marvellous world, and I'm perfectly willing to offer you a replacement weapon... for a price of course. I can also do weapon repairs for anyone who needs them, so I hope I can prove to you my devotion to good customer service in the future.

But this is not just a business call! Since we're all in this together, why don't you tell me a little about yourselves? I love meeting new people, and how often can I say I've met others from a completely different dimension? This goes for you organic types too!

[Besides, it's more beneficial to him to be friendly with everyone than enemies. Now if he had a Megatron to hide behind, things would be totally different.]

Comments

[Video]

[wheeljackofalltrades]

[Well what do you know. There were sleazy scumbbags even on this hunk of rock. Not that Wheeljack needed supplies or anything, but still.]

At least ya get right to the point.

[It was true, bluntness like that was rare in the galaxy. He'd give this guy chops if he wasn't so stubborn to admit it.]

What kind of price? Not that I need anythin', but for future reference.

[Video]

[youhavebeenswindled]

I find that it's better then beating around the bush, as earthlings would say it. Humans have such the oddest phrases don't you think?

[His grin widens at the mention of a price.]

Well, since there is no currency here, I'll have to accept either a trade or a favour! The value would be equal either way, so there's nothing to worry about~

[Video]

[wheeljackofalltrades]

Nothin' to worry about? I'll hold you to that, Violet.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say fightin's not really your thing.

[engrishdetective]

Oh my! With a name like Swindle, how can I go wrong?

[youhavebeenswindled]

Bit of an unfortunate name for a merchant hmm?

[Hey, at least he's upfront about it.]

[engrishdetective]

It is indeed. What's it say for you as a merchant, eh?

[rotafortunae]

I fortunately arrived with my weapon, thanks.

[Your sales talk reminds him uncomfortably of some people he knows. But that means, perhaps...]

You wouldn't happen to gamble, would you? I've been itching for a card game.

[youhavebeenswindled]

I'm up for gambling when I can afford it, so a card game would be nice! You'll have to teach me one of yours though, since I didn't have time to learn any while I was on your planet.

[rotafortunae]

Wonderful! I'm more than willing to teach, of course. Though I'm not sure what we'll bet until there's a proper currency system in place.

[sparkless]

You'll, of course, offer a weapon for a discount to an old...friend?

[youhavebeenswindled]

There's always a discount for favourite clients of mine, Starscream!

[Having Starscream on his side is definitely a good thing, if only for his size and power.]

[sparkless]

I thought so. [He would have raised a huge fuss if there hadn't been.]

Any reason you're still hanging out in the scrap heap- or did you not bump into one of the big guys with random magical powers?

[voice]

[megamind]

I don't need a weapon.

I need to fix the one I have.

[You have no idea how angry he is he's had the DE-Gun as a side arm since he was Five, that's thirty damn years of faithful service and this place screwed it up.]

But I think we can come to a profitable arrangment, if we must. I am a designer, an inventor. Perhaps we can trade parts for labor.

[He's not work for anyone but himself in ages, but the de-gun doesn't work right so he's a little bit desperate.]

[voice]

[youhavebeenswindled]

I think we could develop a mutually beneficial relationship! I'll be happy to help you fix your gun, in return I'll take... what do you earthlings call it, an IOU?

[Oh look, business associates already! Things are definitely looking up.]

Re: [voice]

[megamind]

A very strictly defined, easily dispersed IOU. None of this nebulous you owe me markers that range from my life to indentured servitude.

Hours of work will be traded for items. We can discuss hot many units of time can be traded for what items, and so forth. [Megamind refuses to be deeply in debt, especially so quickly.] Work may not guarantee results. I'm a genius, not a wizard, and materials are limited. Just that you will have my vast intellect for those hours I owe.

Are we clear?

[patokichi]

[This guy is really sketch. Deckerd makes a note to keep an eye on him. Seriously. "Swindle"?]

Don't you think we should be concerned with more important things than arming ourselves?

[youhavebeenswindled]

[Swindle is an angel, and he has the bounty to prove it.]

It's a dangerous world out there, I personally think that everyone should be armed. For their own safety of course.

[And not Swindle's own benefit.]

Now, I'm sure there's something I can do for a fine bot like yourself.

[not_halfbaked]

So you're like a blacksmith?

[youhavebeenswindled]

You could say that, though I specialize more in armed weaponry than anything else. Why, do you have anything in need of fixing young lady?

[Courteous towards organics? Of course! Swindle is courteous towards anyone who doesn't outright annoy him.]

Private

[my_own_trope]

Rest assured I have no other reason for this, but curiosity has me asking; your inventory, does it contain much in the way of anatomy?

Private

[youhavebeenswindled]

Why, did you lose an arm?

[Which would be hilarious, not gonna lie.]

[voice]

[automobile_enthusiast]

I don't suppose you happen to offer anything beside weapons?

[This is a long shot but...]

[voice]

[youhavebeenswindled]

[Potential customer? Oh yeah.]

I'm sure a good-looking fella like you would be interested in, let's say, some of my cosmetics? I also have some items of interest, such as my Sonic Jammer 3000, if that is the type of thing you're looking for.

And of course I happen to have some force field technology~

Anything ping your interest?

[noparachutes]

Selling to all sides?

[youhavebeenswindled]

Why, are you interested in anything I have to offer?

[Not that he'll ever say so out loud, but the Decepticon symbol he wears is for decoration more than anything.]