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✘ 9 | 4

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If my calculations are correct (which they are), then today is my birthday! Or creation day. However you wish to put it! I'm 7 now! I believe I was 5 when I got here. (My name is still 4 though, hee) What do you do to celebrate your birthday? Do you do anything special? Do Cybertronians even celebrate the date of their creation? Oh, do you think an organic can make me some cake? I can't eat it, but I'd sure like to see one! I hear that "chocolate" is favoured amongst humankind! :D

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Boy...whereFOUR art thou, six and five?

Hehe, but all references you won't get aside, can you even eat cake?

No. That doesn't mean that I don't want cake though! It's the usual part of birthday celebrations isn't it?

Who am I to make fun of someone's Pinocchio syndrome? It's your party and you can cake if you want to.

Don't forget the guy leaping out, though.

[She likes you a lot Crow, but 80% of what you say confuses the heck out of her. It's like you're speaking code or something. There's really only one thing she can say to that.]

...What?

[Crow needs to expose this place to pop culture and fast.]

Well some people have like a guy hiding in their cake, which then they leap out and do a little dance!

I have never heard of such a thing! Why would they do that?

Because they're lonely on their birthday and it's a good way to get some cash.

But mostly to get the feeling of frosting all over.

You are very odd Crow. I consider myself to be a very intelligent person, yet everything you do and say baffles me.

You know me, I'm like the wind, baby!

But uh happy...making day.

Who made you by the way? You don't look like you were designed with any particular task in mind. At least, not a physical one. Was your personality naturally designed to be abrasive? Were you made to be a companion of sorts? What would you say your purpose was? Also, what is your power source?

Woah woah woah what is this, Sixty Minutes?!

Well I was basically made to keep Joel company as he was forced to watch bad movies up in space! And I'm not abrasive, I'm sassy. To be honest, I don't think Joel had any idea what he was doing when he made me. I mean, do any of us have purposes? Aren't we all lost adrift in the cosmos in search of meaning, empty husks like dust in the wind?

[OH NO NOW HE'S THINKING.]

I mean SURE I was built to make fun of movies and keep Joel company, but WHAT IS LIFE IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS?! Are we all not condemned to rust in the slow decay until the heat death of the universe, in search of meaning?!

[And coming back down...]

--naw, I'm just here for the jokes.

....you know, I don't have the slightest clue what keeps me alive.

I'm glad you're here either way. Oh! If you want, I know someone who can give you an answer to that! He's the most amazing person here, and he knows all kinds of science!

Knows all kinds of science, huh? Lemme guess, he's a mad scientist and or all-knowing computer...or a Viacom ceo.

He's a scientist, but he's not mad! I think he's the best scientist in the Haven. I like him a lot actually.

Well with these rejects from Gigantor, that's not a far stretch.

Anyhow, guess wouldn't be too bad to see this guy. I mean, I did laugh at the face of death!

I'll have to ask him about you sometime then! I've seen him dissect things before, he's pretty good at it.

[Sputters.]

What what WHAT?! What is this, black market healthcare?! I DON'T WANNA BE DISSECTED!

He'll put you back together again, so relax. It'll be okay.

...you act like I'm gonna agree to this.

It's not going to hurt! I'll let Shockwave know and I'll come find you later!

NO DON'T LET HIM KNOW!

NO MEANS NO.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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