first test ; text/video ; ctrl+alt+delete

[nobirds]

[ The feed fizzles back on, static filled and lined with a few bits of stray binary, leaking out onto the screen. Soon it's blank, and only shows an orange display. For a moment, there's only text.]

>> SYSTEM @ 67% CAPACITY. SYSTEM COMPROMISED. PLEASE ADDRESS._
[ That can't be good. It stays that way for a moment before something or someone, starts to cough and sputter over the audio feed. ]

Well isn't this just great.

[ The monotone voice doesn't carry much in the ways of tone, but what it does, tells the receiver that this person is mildly annoyed. The text that follows is indecipherable, before one string of it finally makes sense. ]

>>DIAGNOSTICS RESULTS;
>> DRIVERS...CHECKED
>> PROCESSING...3 ERRORS FOUND.
>> OPERATIONS PANEL...CHECKED
>> MOBILITY...16 ERRORS FOUND.
>> API CORE DATA...2349 ERRORS FOUND.
RECALLING LAST KNOWN DATA AT TIME OF CRASH...

>> COMPLETE.

howdoesthis_work.exe
829383.exe
system405.exe
transferprotocollist.exe

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY AGAIN?

[ This day couldn't get any better, could it? The female voice sighs dramatically. howdoesthis_work.exe. The moron. ]

Just when you think things can't get any worse. They can. There's even a scientific law dedicated to it. It's a cold hard fact of science; if things can get worse, they will. That is until you've hit proverbial 'rock bottom'. When everything has gotten worse, and physically, there is nothing else that can go wrong, because everything already has. That's about where I'm at right now. They all told me where I was. But I won't let anyone less than a specialist put their little fingers where the artificial light doesn't shine.

So. Is there anyone specialized in micro hydraulics systems sitting around here?

I can't move my legs.

[ In fact, she can't move much at all. ]

Comments

action

[nobirds]

You don't.


The rest of humanity does.

[ Fine then. Sit quietly, Percy. Just until--- ]





What would be the rate of decay for an alien being such as yourself?

action

[sciencetank]

Why should you concern yourself with what humanity wants. You aren't human. And neither am I.

[He sputters, and his shoulder jerks.]

That. Is something I do not know.

action

[nobirds]

I don't.

[ How dare you, Perc. Comparing her to those---filthy, disgusting--- ]

And you've never wanted to find out. How...stagnant. Unprogressive.

action

[sciencetank]

You made it sound as if you felt otherwise.

[Sit still gurl he's working B( ]

My interests lie in far more useful fields of study.

/BACKTAGGING MACHINE i apologize

[nobirds]

Oh yeah? Like microhydraulics?

[ I MADE A FUNNY. ]

I'm sure we'll find out eventually.

But I wonder. You expressed surprise at my being an artificial construct.

So then you aren't. That must be an interesting process.

WHOO BACKTAGS

[sciencetank]

Occasionally.

[You're hilarious.]

No, I'm not. You'll find this place to be full of those like myself, actually.

I suppose it could be interesting, if one were so inclined to enjoy that particular field of study.

[nobirds]

Oh, but we've only just met.

[ I AM HILARIOUS, you better recognize. ]

Then again, it is your big fingers knuckle deep in my chassis, so I'm not really one to talk.

[ SNARK COMBO x2. She does sit up rather suddenly though, the rest of her upper body slumping over pathetically. ]

Oh good. That's working again.

[sciencetank]

[And when she sits up suddenly, he nearly jerks back from her, out of concern he'd hit something.]

[But apparently, no, it just repaired something.]

I take it that's a good thing.