re_alignment | first test ; text/video ; ctrl+alt+delete

Entry tags:

portal | glados

first test ; text/video ; ctrl+alt+delete

[ The feed fizzles back on, static filled and lined with a few bits of stray binary, leaking out onto the screen. Soon it's blank, and only shows an orange display. For a moment, there's only text.]

>> SYSTEM @ 67% CAPACITY. SYSTEM COMPROMISED. PLEASE ADDRESS._
[ That can't be good. It stays that way for a moment before something or someone, starts to cough and sputter over the audio feed. ]

Well isn't this just great.

[ The monotone voice doesn't carry much in the ways of tone, but what it does, tells the receiver that this person is mildly annoyed. The text that follows is indecipherable, before one string of it finally makes sense. ]

>>DIAGNOSTICS RESULTS;
>> DRIVERS...CHECKED
>> PROCESSING...3 ERRORS FOUND.
>> OPERATIONS PANEL...CHECKED
>> MOBILITY...16 ERRORS FOUND.
>> API CORE DATA...2349 ERRORS FOUND.
RECALLING LAST KNOWN DATA AT TIME OF CRASH...

>> COMPLETE.

howdoesthis_work.exe
829383.exe
system405.exe
transferprotocollist.exe

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY AGAIN?

[ This day couldn't get any better, could it? The female voice sighs dramatically. howdoesthis_work.exe. The moron. ]

Just when you think things can't get any worse. They can. There's even a scientific law dedicated to it. It's a cold hard fact of science; if things can get worse, they will. That is until you've hit proverbial 'rock bottom'. When everything has gotten worse, and physically, there is nothing else that can go wrong, because everything already has. That's about where I'm at right now. They all told me where I was. But I won't let anyone less than a specialist put their little fingers where the artificial light doesn't shine.

So. Is there anyone specialized in micro hydraulics systems sitting around here?

I can't move my legs.

[ In fact, she can't move much at all. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Well, there's a fortunate distraction from Grimlock vanishing.]

Micro hydraulics you say?

What seems to be the trouble?

Well, when you fall down an actual mine shaft, and you land on a solid fifty foot down slab of concrete, it doesn't matter if you're made of titanium alloys---

The concrete is going to win.

And you know what? It did.

[ Pardon her extreme lack of enthusiasm and the tone that is dripping disdain. ]

I fell to literal pieces. Also, I'm here. If you can fix that too, that would be remarkable.

[Well, that's new. Most people want more information when they wake up here. Oh well.]

Given the lack of mine shafts on this planet, I'm going to assume you're speaking of an incident taking place prior to your arrival here. My condolences.

[So dry, Percy.]

If you're at all organic, no. I don't deal with organics. Anything mechanical however, is another story.

[ She would, but it's nothing she couldn't get herself from him later on. ]

Four for you. You have excellent powers of deduction.

[ The feed fizzles on, a view complimentary of her optical sensors. She's looking down at her destroyed pieces. ]

If I were organic, I wouldn't be asking about micro hydraulics in order to make my legs move.

[ But his terminology doesn't go unnoticed. No siree. She files that away to ask later. ]

I do make a game attempt of it.

[And the scientist pauses at the video feed. Ah. That's different, too.]

Given the sheer number of bizarre beings flitting through this place, a partially organic, partially technological being is entirely plausible.

But I see your meaning. Coordinates?

Bizarre.

[ She actually smiles at that. Bizarre? Oh, this could only be good for her. ]

Understood.

Well. They told me 'the temple of Liege Maximo', if that means anything to you.

I'd give you exact coordinates, but surprise, this planet's polarity isn't the same as mine.

And my satellite uplink is on it's last legs, if you'll ignore the badly placed pun.

Bring something with wheels. They seemed to have an issue carrying me here, if the disgusting scratches on the inside of my knees have anything to do with them. I don't suppose any normal human could lift me either. Not to toot my own horn.

Edited 2013-11-22 06:10 (UTC)

Yes, that's what I said.

[Why does everyone repeat him, Primus.]

Mm, fortunately, yes. I know precisely where that is. Upstart decided he wished to claim my lab for his own.

If you've just arrived... chances are you'll be near the altar, I suppose. No need to worry about the rest, I'll manage.

[PSH. Human strength.]

Do sit tight. I won't be long.

[Because SCIENCE. Also a huge distraction, which could be very good for him right now.]

Oh good. You'd better not be, my cervical spine has just started to fail.

And who knows how much dignity I'll have left if I can't hold up my own head.

[ Said flatter than a board. She wouldn't really care if she could or not, but that's how she'll convey the severity of her discomfort. ]

Yes, that does sound rather important.

I'm en route now.

[Since she seems so calm about it, there's probably no reason to be overly concerned... but he doesn't take his time. He'll roll up to the temple soon after.]

[ So she lays there, rather unenthusiastic about much of anything, and finally she can't move her head. Awesome. She'll add that to her list of things that suck.

It falls back with a rather loud thump on the ground where her 'new friends' have left her, staring dead on into the doorway. The rest of her chest is still together, along with her arms, but anything from the waist down was a little sketchy.

The look on her face would be priceless, but she's determined not to make any sort of extensive emotional display.

That's not a human. That's not even remotely human sized. ]

You know, the list of 'impressive things that have happened to me today' just keeps getting longer.

Congratulations.

You're on top of it.

Edited 2013-11-22 06:47 (UTC)

[Today seems to be full of surprises. He transforms before he enters, heading into the temple with care. After all, who knew how many pieces could be scattered. It wouldn't do for someone his size and weight to step on a vital component.]

[Though... he hadn't really expected to be congratulated on his frame by the world's most deadpan individual.]

Right. I'll be honored once the pieces have been put back together again.

[He's already selecting a tool from a hidden compartment in one arm, approaching her. It looks like the pieces are all within grasping range, but...]

Anything missing? Component-wise.

My aptitude.

No.

And thank god for that, if there was, there'd be an even bigger, sticky mess.

[ There is a small one, under her chestplate where the impact had been taken the hardest. Three valves had ruptured, one unsalvageable. Most of the oil and lubricant had escaped, left on the concrete of the facility. Some of it still lingered underneath the plate and even in her hair. ]

You know, when I asked about microhydraulics, I did mean on a human scale.

So you'll forgive me for wondering if you really know what you're doing.

I am aware of what the term microhydraulics means. I wouldn't be here if I were incapable of repairing the damage.

[To some extent. He's not Ratchet, but since he's been here, he's gotten a lot better at repairs. Which appears to be a good thing, given the amount of damage present. He frowns a bit.]

If you'll need replacement parts... we may need to relocate you to the medbay. I don't have much on me, unfortunately.

[But he's kneeling, preparing to start, all the same.]

Oh. Just wondering. Didn't want the self preservation programming to kick in, you know.

[ She's just kidding. ]

Not like I have any say in it.

The valve that controls the connection between my thoracic and lumbar spine? Specifically between T5 and L1. You'll find it. It's made a mess.

That needs replacing. Otherwise it's all superficial. I tried replacing it myself, but that's a long story for another day.

[ Her hand flexes voluntarily. Good. All of her fingers still work, and that's the only good thing she can be happy about that happened so far. ]

All the tactile systems are still intact though. Which is an absolute miracle.

[ That's all those glowy wires. ]

Watch your big hands. Severing them will electrocute you.

Wouldn't be the first time.

[That's why he's a tank.]

[He absorbs the information in thoughtful silence, nodding occasionally. Some of the terms aren't terribly familiar, but putting them to the parts of anatomy in question helps. Now he has a mental picture.]

[Maybe if he can make a few rudimentary repairs, it will be enough to get them from here to the medbay. There's an awful lot of fluid lost.]

Which is precisely why I have tools to manipulate small objects. Please. I'm a scientist, not a bloody construction worker.

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