Video~!

[0perator]

[Why hello yes that is an Alia wearing a face-eating pair of heart-shaped shutter shades and a very glittery pink feather boa. She grins into the video feed.]

Greetings, Haven!

[The feed pans out to take in Knock Out as well, red paintjob shinning red even more than usual for the occasion. He has some v-cards on his hand and a mischievous grin on his face. Alia waves.]

Valentine's Day is coming up, and for all the people who will be missing the festivities this year, Knock Out and I have scienced [shut up that is a verb now] a perfect solution for all your romance needs! We have perfected a one hundred and twenty percent accurate matchmaking algorithm, perfect for bringing some interest and excitement into your love life!

Now, if you're not up on your Earth cultural traditions, don't sweat! We have you covered!

[Knock Out nods and then chimes in.] Now, what’s that entire Valentine’s nonsense about, you might wonder? Valentine’s a human mating festivity that mixes different courting techniques. One of the most common ones is the exchange of little notes with romantics statements.

[Knock Out clears his throat and starts to read some of the cards. To help everybody to get into the spirit of valentine day, Alia and Knock Out left one v-card in front of everyone's room door. In fact, just to get into the real spirit of the holiday, all the v-cards conveniently sport the forged signatures of random people around Haven the best match according to that very scientific matchmaking algorithm. Feel free to find yours and thank them.]

Enjoy all that love in the air! 'Cause if you can't get laid on Valentine's Day, the other three hundred and sixty four days aren't looking too good either.

Comments

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

...no thanks.

[Such enthusiasm, Albert.]

[Video]

[0perator]

Awww, what's wrong with a little fun and/or pointless boinking?

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

It's not my thing, for one.

[Video]

[0perator]

Man, allergic to fun too? This is getting to be an epidemic.

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

I'm allergic to being forced into events.

[Video]

[0perator]

Hey hey, we don't do noncon around here, buddy. If you don't like your match... [She manages a fairly credible sniffle.] We'll carry on somehow.

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

...you guys aren't gonna stop till I have a match.

[Video]

[0perator]

But you have one! Did you not find your totally sciencey valentine?

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

...no.

[He's going to regret this, isn't he?]

[Video]

[0perator]

You should lo~ok!

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

Is it a giant robot?

[Video]

[0perator]

Maybe. [shifty eyes]

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

...[Sigh.]

Don't you think that'll be a little...difficult for the both of us?

[Video]

[deadlydoctor]

Too late, my friend.

Albert please, wake up and smell the pheromones in the air.

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

Sorry, my nose must not be working.

[Video]

[deadlydoctor]

I know how to fix that.

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

I don't think you're fully licensed for flesh things.

[Video]

[deadlydoctor]

I am one of the Cybertronians medics that know more about organics, if not the only one here.

Does all this mean that you didn't like your valentine card?

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

It's...alright. Just not a fan of the holiday.

[Video]

[deadlydoctor]

No one here seems to be. [Party poppers, all of you.]

You will laugh about this in the future, you will see Albert.

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

...I must see the future because it's not happening.

[Video] idk why but I laughed a lot at this particular reply

[deadlydoctor]

Do you even know how to laugh? Now I wonder...

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

Wonder all you want, I'm not going out with anyone.

Re: [Video]

[deadlydoctor]

Okay, okay...You already had someone back home? Is it that?

[Video]

[tearsofsteel]

...something like that.

[Emphasis on had.]