Video~!

[0perator]

[Why hello yes that is an Alia wearing a face-eating pair of heart-shaped shutter shades and a very glittery pink feather boa. She grins into the video feed.]

Greetings, Haven!

[The feed pans out to take in Knock Out as well, red paintjob shinning red even more than usual for the occasion. He has some v-cards on his hand and a mischievous grin on his face. Alia waves.]

Valentine's Day is coming up, and for all the people who will be missing the festivities this year, Knock Out and I have scienced [shut up that is a verb now] a perfect solution for all your romance needs! We have perfected a one hundred and twenty percent accurate matchmaking algorithm, perfect for bringing some interest and excitement into your love life!

Now, if you're not up on your Earth cultural traditions, don't sweat! We have you covered!

[Knock Out nods and then chimes in.] Now, what’s that entire Valentine’s nonsense about, you might wonder? Valentine’s a human mating festivity that mixes different courting techniques. One of the most common ones is the exchange of little notes with romantics statements.

[Knock Out clears his throat and starts to read some of the cards. To help everybody to get into the spirit of valentine day, Alia and Knock Out left one v-card in front of everyone's room door. In fact, just to get into the real spirit of the holiday, all the v-cards conveniently sport the forged signatures of random people around Haven the best match according to that very scientific matchmaking algorithm. Feel free to find yours and thank them.]

Enjoy all that love in the air! 'Cause if you can't get laid on Valentine's Day, the other three hundred and sixty four days aren't looking too good either.

Comments

[nobody_number_8]

Well, if I was actually interested in dating anyone here at all, that'd be fine. But given that 90% of the population here is giant robots, which- no offense- is just... yeah, not happening, and the rest I could really care less about in that way, there doesn't seem to be much point.

[deadlydoctor]

There's also Sherpard, Cyndy, Strelok, rarity, and Issac. [Yes he added a pony in that list. it's still an organic.] Rose too but I know for a fact that she's not interested in dating.

But if you aren't interested either...there's a lot of other things you could be doing than going around romancing people.

[nobody_number_8]

You mean like going out with similarly minded people and drinking probably inadvisable amounts of alcohol?

[Cause he now has plans to do just that.]

[deadlydoctor]

I think that's exactly what Issac and Cindy were about to do, yes.

[Do it with company, silly kid.]

[nobody_number_8]

Apparently so. Or at least that was what I was made to understand when I signed up. So if there's no booze when I get there, I'm calling false advertising.

[deadlydoctor]

There is booze. Not sure if you can drink it, though. Most of it it's made for my people but I know the bar has drinks for organics too. You are safe.

[nobody_number_8]

Good. Alia said this little party was for human-types, so I assumed there would be drinks we could actually, ya know, drink.

Though given that you two seem to be in the mood to screw with people, it wouldn't surprise me otherwise either.

[deadlydoctor]

Funny, Alia is not really human. But she's not so bad. [Knock Out likes her but he will never admit it.]

Well...screwing people is the point of valentine, my friend.

[nobody_number_8]

Well, I'm not exactly human myself at the moment, so it works out.

And I know though, though I I don't think you guys are doing that kind of screwing with this little stunt.

[deadlydoctor]

A match made in Haven. [Knock Out, my god, that was an awful pun.]

No we aren't, not yet. That's up to the happy matched couples.

[nobody_number_8]

[Axel rolls his eyes at the pun.]

That pun was even worse than one of my jokes, which is really saying something.

And yeah, good luck with that 'matchmaking algorithm' of yours. Better hope most of the people here are pretty gullible, if you expect to see any of the other kind of screwing happening.