audio; 4/6 late night / early morning ish

[thxforthememories]

[It's probably around midnight or so when the post pops up. Or close enough to it that the effects of the red energon have finally worn off. He can touch things now. He's no longer a ghost.]

[And... still considerably unsettled and upset by recent events. Enough to make the following statement:]

I ... I want to learn how to be drunk.

[Because that seems like a great idea. It always worked for his role models around here, after all.]

Someone. Show me how. I'll be grateful.

[And that's all he says. He'll be at the bar, an unhappy pile of metal and wings. Waiting.]

Comments

[badboybikerbot]

[Apparently Drunkmax thinks that was the funniest thing he's ever heard in his life because heeee's laughing his dumb green ass off for a minute]

Hey. Hey. Look. Okay. Cranes can be classy too. But anyway, I meant personality-wise. He's a total gentleman. Whereas Power Joe has all the class of a drunken frat boy.

And no, that's totally not gonna work, see? If you're gonna practice somethin' like that, it has to be on a person. So you can get feedback, see?

[thxforthememories]

Oh. He's a gentleman. Who's a crane. A crane... tleman.

[You tried, Kagerou.]

There's not anybody else I want to kiss though!

[badboybikerbot]

Hah! A cranetleman! I like it!

[you did try and gunmax approves]

Maybe. Listen. Listen. Maybe we just need to find someone who's got experience and just ask 'em for pointers. Y'know like. Advice. That way you don't have to kiss anyone else or make out with your. Square. Cube. Thing,

[thxforthememories]

You do?

[Wow he looks so happy. You'd think he just won a prize or something.]

Well. Okay.

But who's kissed a lot? I don't know. Do you know? Do we ask?

[badboybikerbot]

It's the best. It is the best.

[GOOD BE HAPPY STOP MOPING.]

I. Have no idea. Shit. We could just start like messaging people. And asking.

[thxforthememories]

Good. I like it when I do good.

[Since it happens so rarely woo.]

Is that a good idea?

[badboybikerbot]

Hell yeah. We need to do this more often. We're making so awesome progress here.

[see you know you're cool when captain coolmax wants to hang out with you]

I bet it's not. I bet it's a terrible idea.

I'm gonna do it anyway.

[thxforthememories]

We are? We are! We. Are!

[Yeah look how excited he's getting aw yeah.]

...

Okay.

[And clearly he's in no mental condition to act responsibly here. He just sits back, watching. And drinking.]

[badboybikerbot]

Hell yeah! HELL YEAH! Yo! More'a these things!

[YEAH he's totally waggling an empty cube at a bartender BRING IT ON BABY]

But yeah, man! Totally askin' people. All the people. Or maybe just a few of them.

[thxforthememories]

... Hell yeah. Yes!

[He's going to copy him. Right down to the Engrish. Oops.]

Like who? Who are we asking?

[badboybikerbot]

[FUCK. YES. COOLEST PARROT EVER.]

Ah. Uhh. Pfffff... Uhhh... I guess I could ask Deckard and McCrane. Maybe that other blue dude. And the red one.... man, why don't I know more people? Wait wait, why don't I like more people?

[thxforthememories]

Because you're the... loner type.

And you don't trust anybody but you never told me why. Because you'd always say... grow up Kagebird.

But I think I did. I think I did that.

You should call them.

[badboybikerbot]

You what? Grew up? Then I'll let you in on a secret. People are scum.

But yeah, totally gonna call 'em. As soon as I remember how to do things with my fingers again.

[thxforthememories]

What? Why are they scum? Why?

[He nods sagely.]

You poke buttons and things happen. That's how you do things.

[badboybikerbot]

I guess that's not fair. Not all people are scum. Just most of 'em. They'll jerk you around if you're not payin' attention. If they think you're just another dumb rookie.

[Oh shit Kagerou YOU'RE RIGHT]

I want that in every instruction manual.

[thxforthememories]

... But. Kay is nice. Vandal was. I don't know of any jerks. Does that make -- does that make me dumb?

[He's trying very hard to figure this out.]

I thought it was in manuals.

[badboybikerbot]

There's plenty of jerks, but none of that makes you dumb at all. Just means you know a buncha good people. That's a good thing.

[Gunmax isn't really the best at explaining things right now anyway man it's ok]

No no, I mean like, that exact wording.

[thxforthememories]

Oh. But you know jerks. And that's not a good thing. I'm sorry.

[He's so sincere when he's drunk.]

... Isn't it? Push button and thing happens?

[badboybikerbot]

Aaaaah, it's. Whatever. The ones I really don't like aren't even here.

[d'aww kagerou.]

No but see. That's not a proper sentence. It sounds funny.

[thxforthememories]

That's good! You're okay then!

[SO DAMN HAPPY FOR YOU BRO.]

Maybe it doesn't. In alien robot.

[badboybikerbot]

I'm better than okay. I'm super okay, baby.

[AW THAT'S SO NICE but wait. gunmax looks like something's just blown his MIND out]

Whoa, Pigeon. Wait. Y'ever like, think about how we're not on Earth? Doesn't that make us the aliens? Does that make us the invaders?

[this is some deep shit bro]

[thxforthememories]

Good. That's better than. Not okay.

[His head sort of snaps back. His one optic goes wide, as that realization has never really occurred to him.]

Wha... but.

They're alien to us. They're aliens. And we're aliens. So what's... not alien?

[badboybikerbot]

Yeah it is. Could be worse, could be better. Can't complain too much.

[Yeah. YEAH. it's this amazing riddle that clearly needs to be solved by drinking more. So Gunmax is gonna do that.]

Well no see, this is their planet. They're alien to us, but they're not aliens here, so technically I have no idea what I'm saying anymore and I'm completely confused.

Hey, does your AI feel numb? Because I think. I think. Something's numb.

[thxforthememories]

Good. Because you should. Have good things.

[He had a point there, but it's kind of thrown out the window.]

But... it's alien for us. Doesn't that make us aliens too? Are we all... alien?

[He frowns.]

It feels... tingly. Kind of tired...

[badboybikerbot]

You know what, so should you. You're more entitled to good things than I am.

[POINT? hahaha what point]

Y'know, I kinda like the idea of everyone being aliens. That way we're all different, but we're not all... different. Or. Something.

Yeah, yeah. Like that. Maybe I should stop drinkin' this stuff.

[So what does Gunmax do? he stares at the cube in his hand aaand then finishes it off.]