re_alignment | [video]

[The video opens with Blurr holding a datapand and looking serious and professional. Behind him there's 'Buddy', his assigned acolyte, who has been repainted with Vector's color so Blurr can tell him apart from the others acolytes.]

Greetings everyone.

To all of the new refugees;

My name is Blurr, Second-in-command of the Police Force. If you find yourself in need of aid please don't doubt to come to us, we will do everything in our power to ensure your safety.

To remaining citizen;:

Recently there has been more activity regarding the Lambda. I'm here to announce that the following members of the Police Force had gone missing: Albert Heinrich, Chromedome, Perceptor, Power Joe and Prowl.

Because of this, the Police Force will go thought a restructuring and shift rescheduling so we can be more efficient and cover all the territory of the Haven in safer way. I'll keep you updated.

On a much happier note, Miss Cinderella had joined our group as the new secretary of the Headquarters. Let's all give her a warm welcome.

That's all for today, thank you for your attention.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Does it bite?

What's a booby trap? [HA HA your Earth sex jokes are lost on him, Man.]

No, but it might explode into confetti.

It's like a regular trap, but with boobies.

[actually no it doesn't involve boobies at all]

It if does that, you are cleaning it.

What's a boobie?

[Like Blurr could tell. Congrats Gunmax, you will have the honor to explain human lady anatomy to him.]

Just don't open it, baby! Long as the drawers stay closed, no explosion!

[plus he's feeling lazy]

Y'ever seen a human female before? It's those fleshy lumps on their chests. It actually has nothing to do with booby traps though. Actually, I have no idea why booby traps are called booby traps.

I think I'm going to pass for now but I'll keep it in mind. [Instead, he's going to change Gunmax's desk for Prowl and wait for the tragedy to unfold.]

Yes I did. Are those detachable too? I did not know they could put them on places other than their own body.

Maybe someone with boobies invented them? A she human?

[OH GOD do it.]

No. What? No. Humans can't just pop parts off of themselves. That's weird. That's creepy.

[Oh, he will. Blur was part of the Intel guard because he knows how to trick people and be sly too.]

But they do that with the hair. Oh and their feet too. [WHAT ARE SHOES, HOW DO THOSE WORK. Aren't those part of the body? Blurr can't tell.]

My god you're sheltered.

They don't take their hair off. They can like, get it cut and it'll grow back. And they don't take their feet off. Don't tell me you've never heard of shoes before.

[shut up blurr you're kind of adorable]

I'm not! Ijusthaventgiventhemasuchofacloserlook.

Shoes?

[Ain't he? The idiot.]

I have no idea what you just said, so I'm just going to pretend you said "Why yes, Gunmax. I am sheltered. I am so sheltered that I make Deckard look like the biggest badass in the world by comparison".

Shoes. Humans wear 'em on their feet to protect them, see. They ain't exactly made of metal like we are, steppin' on something sharp could mess 'em up real good.

If that makes you happy..but it's not what I said at all. [HUFF!]

Ah so like, our wheels?

Quiet. You're ruining my fantasy, here.

But yeah, I guess you could say that? I mean, you can't really pop a shoe like you can pop a tire so... maybe it's not like that at all.

[hmmm]

Oh, my bad. How can I make it up to you? [So much sarcasm.]

I see. Thanks for clarifying then.

Do my paperwork for the next two months.

Look, I'm not good at explaining humans to robots. Uh. For some reason.

I always do your paperwork. [One: because Gunmax never does it. and two: because Blurr actually enjoys doing the paperwork.]

So I suppose you can't explain me why humans wear clothes under clothes? And why they get so mad at you is you try to see what's under them?

[He knows about undergarments, right now he's only trolling the other robot. It's fun to be the one doing that for a change.]

And that's why I like you. [well it's not the only reason BUT IT'S A BIG ONE]

Eh, I can try. Like for the females, I know they wear 'em to keep their boobs from flopping around. Extra support, see.

[And that's about all Gunmax has. he never really bothered asking why underwear was for, he just accepted it as a thing humans do. WHATEVER BLURR]

It's a good reason, I suppose. Really touching. [He's amused.]

Ah, those move on their own? Odd. This doesn't happen to us. [Blurr looks down at his own chest that is, well, considerable for a mech with such small waist.] Seems like their design needs some more working on.

It doesn't happen to us because we're not made of meat, you dink. Are you really this naive or are you just pretending?

[Have a smirk.

Yeah, he was pretending. sue him, he likes to pull your leg too.]

[oh you little weasel. Gunmax just rolls his optics behind his visor]

Yeah, okay. You got me. Good one.

Believe it or not, I do have a sense of humor. [Open your new desk Gunmax and you will realize it.]

You should have seen the sort of pranks the Twins pulled on us back home, they were incorrigible.

Oh yeah? Tell me about it.

Not that I'm looking for ideas or anything.

Oh no no no I'm not doing that. Some things were really bad.

Jetstorm is here, you could ask him. I think you two would get along well.

Tch, stingy.

I don't know who that is but he sounds friggen awesome already.

I just know better.

You'll see him around the Headquarters, usually near Sentinel. He has a blue visor, blue paintjob and he's one of the only Autobots in my world who can fly.

Re: [video]

badboybikerbot - 2014-06-08 04:07 (UTC) - Expand

raceme - 2014-06-08 16:14 (UTC) - Expand

badboybikerbot - 2014-06-08 20:03 (UTC) - Expand

[video]

raceme - 2014-06-08 21:05 (UTC) - Expand