re_alignment | [Voice] PSA and a Plan

Entry tags:

✘ dead space | vandal

[Voice] PSA and a Plan

Hey uh guys? Those "explosives" that Prism asshole was talking about?

All a fake. I opened Drift up and took a look and it turned out he was bluffing. I hope that's worth a little peace of mind or... whatever. From what I could see, it's just like a tag. Nothing intrusive. I couldn't remove it, but it's not dangerous.

On that note:

Teddie and I were kind of talking about having a party of sorts. Like kind of a karaoke-movie-drink-yourself-dumb extravaganza. I was thinking maybe when Casa De Vandal is finished I could host it there? I still have to fix everything, but I have most of the equipment.

Thoughts? Ideas? Can I get a 'Hell yeah'?

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Implying that I'd have reason to. A guess, or just a statistical probability?

[The sound of metal scraping against metal.] So the...entertainment value, is your primary benefit.

[ Totally not a relieved sigh. Nope. ]

I'm glad he's alright. Thank you, Vandal. At least this will give us a larger window to work on removing the chips properly in all those who happened to run across that... thing.

...You, ah, weren't thinking of hosting it in your dwelling, were you?

[ BECAUSE THAT'S KIND OF SMALL. ]

Oh that's the word you USE? How cu-ri-o-us sounds a bit strange to me but I get what you mean okay ehm...sorryforthemisunderstanding.

Well that is... good because I really think Wing should ask out Drift.

Most would consider what I have done already to be reason enough to stop me.

I consider the entertainment factor to be a happy side effect, not my primary benefit.

Eh, no worries. I'm just... I was pretty freaked out there.

Uh- haha! No. Not at all. Outside.

Hey uh. Can I ask you a favor, Perce?

If you have ever had a co-worker that you mostly tolerate out of pity and fear, [And also sometimes touched dicks with out of irritation and the desire to shut him up because oh my god, but we're not going into that.] then it's possible you have a general idea of the relationship between us.

It's okay. You just sort of caught me off guard there.

Yeah they're ah. Perfect for each other.

There's never a dull moment for a nurse. I, um. Probably haven't been as busy as I should be though.

[ G-Guilty... ]

Not as much as some 'bots but I haven't met many that didn't like movies. I've never seen a human movie. To be honest, I... really don't know much about Earth! Or humans.

I feel sorry for you, then.

Really? That's a shame... I've never actually been to Earth, but I can teach you about human culture if you want?

[She can do... so much damage here it's almost intoxicating.]

I... think we all were.

Ah, right. I hoped that's what you'd meant.

Hm? Of course. What can I help you with?

You shouldn't.

Y...eah...

I really need to shoot something. Like. Badly. Did you want to perhaps shoot a few things in the junk heap with me?

Edited 2012-08-25 04:18 (UTC)

Oh, please! I want to know because... reasons.

[ Fanfic. ]

From what I was told, humans weren't a space faring race. It's so... weird to think of a human who has never been to Earth. You don't need your planet to breed?

Okay. Whatever. Just. Keep that freak away from me, yeah?

Uh-huh. Reasons?

Oh well, you see. I was hatched on a ship. As long as we have a warm place to lay our eggs, it's really no big deal.

...Y-you know! In case I ever need to care for one.

Oh. [ Why didn't anyone mention this to him? ] That makes sense. Do you lay one egg at a time? Or is it like... a clutch?

Ohhh. I see.

Usually in batches of 200 at a time. We usually all come from one fertile 'queen'. When she goes into estrous she tends to breed as much as possible. Then we all hatch together. It's better in groups like that because it takes a while for us to sprout our limbs, you see.

It'd be my pleasure.

Are you alright, Vandal?

Great.

I-

Yes? No? I don't... know. I don't feel good.

What makes the queen different than other humans? I mean, there seem to be a lot of human females here... How am I supposed to tell if I meet one?

[ You all look the same to him, sry. ]

That seems... problematic. So you have a larval stage after hatching?

I don't have the degree of control over him required to keep him from doing anything.

Are you ill?

Oh, she'll be seeking a mate. Or several, depending.

Yeah, we kind of look like little goopy snakes with long tails. Obviously the tail falls off after we mature, but sometimes with the younger humans you can still see it. It's kind of a shameful thing, so that's why most hide it.

Anyways that's more just you know. Scientific fact and less cultural stuff.

Maybe? I can't tell. I just need to shoot something.

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