rstlsslegsyndrm: JESUS CHRIST THIS FLOPPY DISK IS HUGE (Default)
Ambulon (all the good names are taken okay) ([personal profile] rstlsslegsyndrm) wrote in [community profile] re_alignment2012-08-27 04:47 pm

[Video]

[Doctor Leg Ambulon is, well, ambling about momentarily before the video, as if finishing off some organizing. After everything's tidy, he turns and faces the video, and of course looks touchy as usual. However, his tone lacks any sort of irritation.]

In light of some recent events as well as shared curiosity in general [lookin' at you, 4], it's come to my attention that if I'm going to offer my medical skills to the residents of this primordial Cybertron, I should, perhaps, know how to treat all of them. That is to say, organic and non-technological in design. [He looks at something in his hand, touches at his optics, almost in the same fashion you would to push up glasses.]

Now, I've gathered some information regarding the human lifeforms here - basics, mostly, and your common rituals, mostly in terms of hygiene and daily regimes [eating, sleeping, etc]. However, my database lacks information in regards to your components - your organs, if you will - and common illnesses and damage the humanoid body can contract and tolerate, and to which extent the body can withstand before it shuts down or malfunctions.

Any basic first aide would be wonderful. I'm sure my colleagues before me have also compiled data they would like to share.

You need not worry about releasing anything I'd imagine some humans deem as private and not entirely a topic of easy socializing. [He's talking about the birds and the bees and everything in between, okay.] That I understand... somewhat. So, that may remain a topic for another time. Mostly, I'm curious as to your basic anatomy, how your body functions, and what to do in emergencies if one or another of these functions should fail.

My query also applies to those who are not human, but are not Cybertronian.

Also, earlier I chanced by someone who told me about the courting ritual of humans. Apparently the "male" knocks the "female" out unconscious and drags her back to his lair by her "hair", and then after some "wine" and "steak", the female consumes the male's head to feed it to her offspring? ... Yeah, I don't know what they were thinking either.
murphyslaw: (pic#4522319)

audio

[personal profile] murphyslaw 2012-08-28 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
Hnnnnzzz, fleshybot courting sound a lot like spiderbot's...

[ Which is more than a little terrifying. ]
kingofthetvworld: (🐻  || Bear - HJKJHDK)

[Video]

[personal profile] kingofthetvworld 2012-08-28 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
[That... that last part. That mental image is going to haunt him for a very long time.]

Why would somebody say that?
littlecrowgirl: (oh boy)

[Video]

[personal profile] littlecrowgirl 2012-08-28 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
[Just like Teddie, the last part gets to her the most.]

What freak-o told you that?
vandalization: (Rig - Wait what was that?)

[personal profile] vandalization 2012-08-28 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
I could offer you some very basic information. I'm no doctor, but I'm definitely a human the last time I checked. Took health class in college and everything!





... Also who the fuck told you something like that?
littlecrowgirl: (is that so?)

[Video]

[personal profile] littlecrowgirl 2012-08-28 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
Well whoever they are, they're a big dumb.

[She giggles slightly.]

So you're a doctor too? There's so many here.
kingofthetvworld: (🐻 || Bear - OH DEAR)

[Video]

[personal profile] kingofthetvworld 2012-08-28 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
Y-You mean there's something out there that actually does that?! EW, that's disgusting!
vandalization: (Rig - Facing you)

[personal profile] vandalization 2012-08-28 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I could tell you a bit about function, locations, etc.
raceme: (Sense you make none)

[personal profile] raceme 2012-08-28 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
...

I might be mistaken but I don't believe that last information about human courting is all that accurate.
Female's don't have a mouth big enough to do that either.
whirlybird_of_prey: (Default)

[video]

[personal profile] whirlybird_of_prey 2012-08-28 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
Wait. You're going to believe that? But not acid-spitting humans?

When a human told me that one?

[YOU WOUND HIM, Ambulon.]
heuristical: (And I'm on the bleachers)

Text;

[personal profile] heuristical 2012-08-28 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
That information is a lie. Human mating rituals are complex, but the method is decidedly not.

[Don't ask how he knows this.]
vandalization: (Rig - Why me)

[personal profile] vandalization 2012-08-28 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
... Close enough.

Wanna meet up somewhere? It might take a while.
kingofthetvworld: (🐻 || Bear - wtf is this)

[Video]

[personal profile] kingofthetvworld 2012-08-28 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
Well...YEAH! Who'd want to be anywhere near something that eats people's heads?!
whirlybird_of_prey: (but i like shooting things)

Re: [video]

[personal profile] whirlybird_of_prey 2012-08-28 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
[HE WILL And he is not going to give you any cake.]

But you actually believed it enough to look.

[Harrumph.]

Vandal. You know. The human who thinks she's a robot.

[He cannot blame her choice, of course. Robots rule.]

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