VIDEO

[experimentality]

[ Hello Cybertron, guess who's back?

If you guessed everyone's favorite floating creepersphere, you'd be right. And probably also horrified. The video feed shows Prism, in his proper body and most definitely not confined to his room, floating happily somewhere near the junk pile. ]

Hello! I suppose I must commend you for quarantining me for so long, but I'm afraid your containment measures could not withstand superior technology.

[ Something moves in the background, sliding slowly into view. It's the Gatherer, and it's... not alone. ]

...this is what I get for trying to be helpful. Tentacle rape. Can't even be fraggin' original.

[ Prism turns slightly, sighing in a rather bored manner. ]

If I was attempting to violate you, I would be much more thorough. I would suggest cooperating, it would make this entire endeavor much easier on you.

Yeah I'll keep that in mind. [ Whirl struggles against the tentacles, which seem quite determined to get friendly with him. ] This where I'm supposed to like beg for mercy or something?"

[ Whoops. Hope you like being upside down, Whirl. ]

If you had a mouth I would gag you. I don't suppose you have any companions who will be coming to your attempted rescue?

[Not really a fan, no. ] Fraggin shame I don't have one, then, isn't it? [Whirl refuses to answer the second part. Because no. ]

What a shame. I suppose I will have to find something else to do with you. [ Mouth or no, a tentacle winds itself around Whirl's face and head before Prism turns his attention back to the feed. ]

All that aside, I'm very excited to get back to work. There are so many of you now! I look forward to cataloguing each and every one of you in great detail.

[You can muzzle him but you can't muffle justice! Or....something. Whirl starts shooting at...something. It's hopefully at least noisy and ruining that whole sinister ambiance thing you're going for. Jerk.]

Really-- [ Prism's exasperated response is cut off as he ends the feed, presumably to deal with Whirl who is proving to be more trouble than he's worth. Just before the feed disappears the tentacles constrict and there's a sudden crunch.

That. Didn't sound too good. ]

Comments

[inferiordude]

Not really.

[experimentality]

How pointless! And yet you would sacrifice your own well-being for him?

[inferiordude]

Sure. I would.

I didn't think you'd understand, though.

[experimentality]

I'm rather intrigued by the concept of putting oneself through a traumatic experience for the sake of another. It's all very curious.

[inferiordude]

...Be as curious as you'd like. You wouldn't get it. Not sure if you ever would.

That's actually kind sad, you know.

[experimentality]

Mm, that's very likely. Self-sacrifice would have interfered with protocol.

[inferiordude]

You don't feel compassion either, do you?

[experimentality]

My primary function involves locating and processing sentient organic life for the purposes of isolating potential resistances or cures to the Flood.

Programming me to experience compassion would have directly interfered with this.

[inferiordude]

Then you're not really completely sentient, either. That, um...

[That's super sad to him. Sure, you still need about fifty shots to the eye and he hates you and you scare the crap out of him, but Soundwave isn't incapable of sympathy.]

I'm sorry.

[experimentality]

Sympathy is unnecessary and unwanted.

[inferiordude]

You don't care that you're incomplete? You just seem so unfinished, but robots like Kagerou are so alive.

[experimentality]

I am perfect.

[inferiordude]

Dude, not even close. Your creators totally got lazy with you. What's worse is that you don't even know better!

[experimentality]

[ You know Prism's usually flawlessly cheerful tone? That just disappeared entirely. ]

My creators made me to their exact specifications. They made no mistakes.

[inferiordude]

So... they specifically made you half of what you could have been?

Uh. Sure. Okay.

[experimentality]

They made me to be exactly what was needed to carry out necessary protocol.

[inferiordude]

Was that protocol to suck?

[experimentality]

Are you at all familiar with the Flood?

[inferiordude]

Nope, not a bit.

[experimentality]

Then you could not even begin to understand the importance of my protocol.

[inferiordude]

That's a lazy answer. Sounds like a lazy answer some sucky programmer would make a sucky A.I. say.

And that sucks.

[experimentality]

The Flood are a highly virulent, sentient, parasitic life form which overtakes and consumes any organic sentient life of sufficient biomass. There was a point when it threatened to erase all organic life in the galaxy.

My purpose, my protocol, is to locate and identify potential resistances and cures to the threat.

In the end my 'sucky' programmers died, along with their entire race, in the war against the Flood so that sentient life as a whole might continue.

[inferiordude]

Okay.

And taking us apart and being a general crazy jerk is following protocol... how? I mean, if you were clear with your intentions, I'm pretty sure we'd be more helpful.

Instead, you just suck. You're, like, the King of all Suck. 'Cuz your creators couldn't be bothered to make you better than what you are.

[experimentality]

You are not particularly creative with your insults, are you?

[inferiordude]

I don't really go out of my way to insult. It's, uh. It's mean.