re_alignment | [Video] This is all so crazy!

[Kay's been a very busy girl. Not only is she meeting all sorts of robot friends, but she's been doing analysis. That's right. This girl has been doing STUDIES of you metal beings. Whether or not that's a good thing (pfft, seriously?) has yet to be decided, but you're going to find out the fruits of her labor today. The feed clicks on to show her in her room putting up pieces of paper to a bulletin board she found in the junkpile. Thankfully it came with tacks! She takes a step back to admire her work, allowing the link to get a full glimpse of what she's been up to.

Page 1

Page 2

Page 3

She notices that the Link is on after awhile, hurrying over to pick it up.]

Oh! Hi everyone! I'm actually glad you can see this! I was kind of thinking...ever since Teddie asked if Robots can score...Can robots make babies? I mean, you have to continue the robot race SOMEHOW, right?

I've even started investigating! Mr. Edgeworth would be SO proud of me, because I've got a lot of evidence. I'm doing that [swhing!] thing he does! Okay, so like...do boy robots make the babies? They've got big chests unlike the girl ones, and Soundwave's even opens! Maybe that's where the babies come from. So my theory is, the robot babies come out of the daddy's chest or stomach. It's the only explanation that fits!

[Her hand moves from the first page to the second page, giving a wide grin.]

This is my relationship chart. I can kind of see robots pairing up here, so I've written them down! But there's a lot of empty ones...I want to help you all find your robot boyfriends! Robrofriends? Is that a good word? Either way, Just talk to ol' Kay here. She knows.

[And finally, her hand rests on that last page.]

These are just what I think some babies might look like! Pretty cool, huh? I think I remember somewhere that DNA is half and half of mom and dad, so I did that when making this. What do you guys think?

[Go on, admire her ~~stupidity~~ work.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm honestly not surprised. Now how about you stop playing matchmaker and let everyone get back to their lives? You do know this never works out in the end, right?

[THIS ISN'T ONE OF YOUR EARTH ROMANTIC COMEDIES]

It's not playing matchmaker, you big dumb! I'm noticing this on it's own!

[That's her excuse and she's sticking to it.]

[You're going to make him say it out loud, aren't you?]

I'm pretty sure 'needs boyfriend' is implying something.

I'm just sayin' maybe you guys could use someone.

You're a big strong cow, you need a little cow girlfriend. Or boyfriend.

[He holds up a hand and motions for her to tone it down.]

Look, no. I'm good, okay? I'm good. And--Stop calling me a cow!

S-Sorry, Cliffy.

I was just joking. About the cow thing.

Well, let's put it this way. How'd you like it if someone thought you needed to pair up just because? You're a big, strong human. I'm sure you need a little human girlfriend of your own.

I'm not big or strong. Mr. Lang pointed that out.

[Her voice softens though.]

I guess you have a point.

Don't I always?

[He points to one of his horns.]

You could say you have two, then~

[She won't lie, that was a pretty good joke.]

[There, see? He's not that bad.]

So. You going to scratch my name off now? No more cow doodles? You know, if you really want to draw me, you should try to get my good side. Maybe throw in a few explosions here and there. ...Like Ratchet's kid--Hey, what's up with that anyway?

[There's a small smile before picking up her pen and crossing off Cliffjumper's name on the list. Hey, he asked nicely, and didn't throw any insults, so why not?]

Okay. But...I like drawing the cows...

I won't make them red, I promise!

...What's up with what?

Since when were Ratchet and Wheeljack an item?

[He rubs the back of his head.]

I really must've missed a lot. Wheeljack just doesn't seem like Ratchet's type. ...I didn't even know Ratchet had a type.

To be honest, I'm not sure. All Miko said was they act like a married couple.

But it's a stickier situation than I thought!

What, ya don't like the sound of "Dadjumper"?

[OH GOODNESS, AREN'T YOU A COMEDIAN.]

I'd make a remark, but I have absolutely no idea what that's supposed to mean. How about enlightening me here, buddy? I like my mocking comments to make sense.

Heh, humans call the guy parent a 'dad', I think.

Miko's said it a lot.

[Wait, what?! He shakes his hand defensively.]

Ohh no no no no no, do not get any ideas here. I barely even know this girl. If anything, she annoys me half the time.

You've seen the cow, right?

I wish ya luck, buddy.

[He rubs his audial with a finger, as if shaking some debris out of it idly.]

Them humans got a way with getting under your plating if you're not careful. Dadjumper might be close around the corner.

It's a pretty nice cow, if I say so myself.

[You're killing him, Wheeljack, you know that]

Oh, you are cruel. See if I'm ever nice to you if you have a crisis.

Hey, if it's any consolation, I've got a little tagalong of my own.

Uh, 'scuse me. When was she promoted to 'tagalong'? I believe I missed that meeting. This is only the second time I've talked with the kid, think you're jumping the gun here.

...Trust me, I know aaallll about that.

If it's anything like what Bulk told me, once ya find a human, they stick to ya like glue.

Can't I at least, I don't know, trade her in for someone a bit... bigger? You know the minute she follows me into the battlefield is the minute I have to explain the human splat on the ground.

And that is not a story I want to tell anytime soon.

...

Have you considered a cage?

[NO WHEELJACK, BAD JOKE.]

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