[VIDEO] [TRANSMISSION ORIGINATING FROM: SOLIAN TEMPLE] - SECOND OFFENSE

[namesnotprowl]

[For once, Barricade's video is on. Look at that full-color spikey cop car, backing up from the camera slightly. He's in his quarters, which are looking more finished than they had. Still not entirely complete, of course, but the washrack is done! FINALLY.

But today, Barricade is all-business. Or all-scientist, rather.]

This is Barricade, of TransTech-designated timestream Tyran 707.04 Delta, with test 01 of Unauthorized Upgrade 03.

I woke up yesterday and performed my usual post-recharge scan and found new equipment in my legs. Someone must have gotten hold of my designs for an upgrade to my legs that I never implimented while rebuilding them.

They have proven nonresponsive to normal activation methods but. I believe I have it figured out now.

Attempt One.

[He exvents, the sound chuffing out from the underside of his grill and... he speaks.]

Seagulls at Kmart
Are they keen bargain shoppers
or lost in the flock

[A set of thrusters rotate out of his calves, activating. He hovers about three feet above the ground for a bit... until the thrusters open up completely and he shoots straight out of shot.]

OH FRAG ME!

Thatseagullhaiku
wasflippin'hilarious
restoredorigins!

[There's a sound like thrusters shutting off... and a scream before he plummets back into shot, landing in a heap. Barricade groans.]

Conclusion: If I was meant to fly, I would have been originally formatted with wings.

Comments

[heavymetalgenkigirl]

[She is going to go with the same method of making sure a mech will live as she does with her daddy, if he is coherent and speaking at the end of it, he will survive. Since she doesn't have to check for a post crash response she can skip that and go right in to her next line of though.]

Did you just activate those with a haiku?

[namesnotprowl]

[It's a legitmate method, really; it's one his 'Cons tended to use on the battlefield, after all. Barricade pulls himself up, checking over the grill on his chassis for a few moments.]

I did. And deactivated them that way too. Won't activate any other way, and believe me I tried.

[heavymetalgenkigirl]

Interesting... though I really don't think that is a sound activation method, for plenty of reasons.

Is it just when you do the reciting, or do you know if it works with others saying haiku too?

[namesnotprowl]

I have no idea; this was Test One, after all. Test Two would probably need t'be someone else trying to activate them. Just to eliminate all possibilities.

[Not that he knows it yet, but everybody's haiku betray him.]

[heavymetalgenkigirl]

You may want to have one ready yourself, to cut them off, if it does work. Once they are on do you not have any control over them still?

[namesnotprowl]

Naturally. And I've got plenty of bad haikus kickin' around this processor of mine. They seem the same as any upgrade usually is: takes some time to get used to them and how they work.

After all, you probably wouldn't know how to fly right away if you sprouted big feathery wings from your back, right~?

[heavymetalgenkigirl]

Heh, thinking up as many of them as you can?

Probably not, but if they weren't organic wings I would think they would come with the necessary installations to be usable.

[namesnotprowl]

Just found them on the internet a few years ago, really.

Naturally. But they didn't exactly come with instructions.

[heavymetalgenkigirl]

Oh really? Did you get into any of the traditional stuff, or just the stuff put out by wanna be Japanese kids?

[Please don't mind the fact that she find their attempts pathetic.]

I guess that makes sense.

[namesnotprowl]

Didn't quite get t'the traditional stuff, unfortunately. Ran out of time. I take it you aren't fond of the - [snerk] - weeaboo "neko neko kawaii desu" crowd?

[He's sure he doesn't really have to ask, but still.]

[heavymetalgenkigirl]

No more than you would be if I went ahead and started trying to copy your guy's art, without caring why it is what it is, or what it's supposed to express. [She gives him a wry grin right back.]

[namesnotprowl]

Point taken. Though. Sometimes it c'n flattering, if someone makes an effort. [Then again, his 'art' is different from other versions of 'art'.]

[heavymetalgenkigirl]

Yes, but the key word there is 'effort' a lot of the stuff is badly written and the ones who wrote it didn't even try to understand the true function of a haiku.