[VIDEO] [TRANSMISSION ORIGINATING FROM: SOLIAN TEMPLE] - SECOND OFFENSE

[namesnotprowl]

[For once, Barricade's video is on. Look at that full-color spikey cop car, backing up from the camera slightly. He's in his quarters, which are looking more finished than they had. Still not entirely complete, of course, but the washrack is done! FINALLY.

But today, Barricade is all-business. Or all-scientist, rather.]

This is Barricade, of TransTech-designated timestream Tyran 707.04 Delta, with test 01 of Unauthorized Upgrade 03.

I woke up yesterday and performed my usual post-recharge scan and found new equipment in my legs. Someone must have gotten hold of my designs for an upgrade to my legs that I never implimented while rebuilding them.

They have proven nonresponsive to normal activation methods but. I believe I have it figured out now.

Attempt One.

[He exvents, the sound chuffing out from the underside of his grill and... he speaks.]

Seagulls at Kmart
Are they keen bargain shoppers
or lost in the flock

[A set of thrusters rotate out of his calves, activating. He hovers about three feet above the ground for a bit... until the thrusters open up completely and he shoots straight out of shot.]

OH FRAG ME!

Thatseagullhaiku
wasflippin'hilarious
restoredorigins!

[There's a sound like thrusters shutting off... and a scream before he plummets back into shot, landing in a heap. Barricade groans.]

Conclusion: If I was meant to fly, I would have been originally formatted with wings.

Comments

[raceme]

[You get normal Blurr for once, since he's under the sunlight for now.]

Poetry? That's a very counterproductive system.

[namesnotprowl]

[Oh hello Blurr. Barricade is going to pull himself off the floor, brushing himself off.]

Not just poetry. Haikus specifically. Tried regular poetry yesterday and it didn't do anything.

[raceme]

What gave the idea to use ^poetry on the first place I WONDER.

Areyouokay? Something REALLY weird is going on with _everyone.

[namesnotprowl]

I tried everything else. [Including "Go Go Gadget Thrusters". Not that he'll ever admit that.] It seemed just ridiculous enough to work.

I'm fine, just a few scratches. Noticed things have gotten a little odd around here lately.

[docbot]

If I end up having to fix you and Wheeljack due to impact-related injuries, I will break you, Barricade.

[namesnotprowl]

I'm perfectly capable of repairin' my own injuries. Done it a million times before... [He quirks one optic ridge.] ... mom.

[docbot]

If I'm your mom, I get to scold you for getting yourself hurt and making me worry, on top of giving me the hassle of fixing you if you manage to damage your servo relays.

[It's the worry that's the big problem, actually, rather than the repairs.]

/threadjacks if that's okay!

[wheeljackofalltrades]

Go to your room, son.

[namesnotprowl]

You worry-wart, I'm tougher than you're givin' me credit for. I'm not a hatchling anymore, Ratchet.

[Not that he doesn't occasionally act like a begrudged teenager.]

I've been hurt worse than this and repaired my own injuries then too, I'll have you know.

[mccrane]

I'm beginning to notice a trend.

[IE--something strange is going on. Very, very strange.] How long have you had those thrusters, again?

[Good thing he can't recognize bad poetry when he hears it.]

[namesnotprowl]

'Bout a day or so, as far as I c'n tell. Don't tell me - that's about how long other folks have had stuff and started acting weird, right?

[Those haikus are why you should never ask him to do anything related to art without violence.]

[mccrane]

It seems so. [He goes quiet for a moment, thinking.] Is this even possible?

For robots or humans to spontaneously change?

[It had happened in his world, but usually there was a reason behind it. He can't figure this one out.]

[namesnotprowl]

I've been turned into a human a couple times. Seen folks suddenly manifest personalities that were the exact opposite of their originals.

[Also spontaneous musical numbers, but we don't talk about that.]

There's always a catalyst, though. Probably one this time too. Just. Can't figure it out, yet.

[invisiblepinkboat]

[Sorry, but she's laughing. At least she cuts off quickly though?]

I think that's usually how it works; if you've got wings, you're meant to fly... But, well.

[Looking Barricade over, even if all the pointy bits makes things somewhat hard.]

Unless I'm wrong and you did get wings with those thrusters, or you already have some, wouldn't wings make it somewhat easier to use those thrusters?

[She's still smiling, but at least she's honestly asking and not trying to tease?]

[namesnotprowl]

[He can at least see the humor in it. After all, he had to recite poetry in the first place to get them to even work.]

Heh. Afraid the closest I have to wings are these - [And he waggles the 'wings' on his back that are made of the glass windows of his two car mode doors.] - which I don't think qualify me t'fly.

I never thought I'd actually have thrusters installed, anyway. I... ain't a big fan of in-atmosphere flight.

[Read: it makes him shriek like a small child.]

Just thought I'd give these a test-run since they randomly appeared.

[invisiblepinkboat]

Yeah, those don't look like they'd cut it, I don't think.

[But the waggling was admittedly cute.]

Seems something strange's going around, the last few days... I suddenly got a set of hover mechanism on me. While still being a boat.

[Elita shook her helm, baffled, even if it'd been a great relief and fun to be able to use her altmode on land to get around again.]

And well, at least you didn't try them outside then. They seemed rather powerful, so who knows for far they'd have managed to take you before you turned them off.

[Which also meant Barricade would have fallen a lot further.]

[namesnotprowl]

Hover mechanisms? Well, doesn't sound like a bad thing for a boat, really. And they didn't end with wacky hijinks?

[Now that is weird. The rest of the mobility upgrades he's seen - including his - seemed to lead to wacky hijinks.]

Don't know that I would've liked going head-first into the ceiling, though. Managed t'deactivate them before that happened, at least. Might ought to put down cushions if I want to try this again.

[heavymetalgenkigirl]

[She is going to go with the same method of making sure a mech will live as she does with her daddy, if he is coherent and speaking at the end of it, he will survive. Since she doesn't have to check for a post crash response she can skip that and go right in to her next line of though.]

Did you just activate those with a haiku?

[namesnotprowl]

[It's a legitmate method, really; it's one his 'Cons tended to use on the battlefield, after all. Barricade pulls himself up, checking over the grill on his chassis for a few moments.]

I did. And deactivated them that way too. Won't activate any other way, and believe me I tried.

[heavymetalgenkigirl]

Interesting... though I really don't think that is a sound activation method, for plenty of reasons.

Is it just when you do the reciting, or do you know if it works with others saying haiku too?

[namesnotprowl]

I have no idea; this was Test One, after all. Test Two would probably need t'be someone else trying to activate them. Just to eliminate all possibilities.

[Not that he knows it yet, but everybody's haiku betray him.]

[noparachutes]

That could be useful, Barricade.

[namesnotprowl]

Have you ever seen me enjoy flying, Shockwave?

[noparachutes]

Considering your current situation, you should start.

[namesnotprowl]

I don't know about you, but it doesn't work like that f'r me.