[Video | Gokai Galleon]

[showboater]

[A video feed starts, but the screen is black]

All right, this is--

[Sound cuts off, and then both that and the video cut back in to a young man in a bright red coat sitting in a chair, one leg crossed over the other at the knee; a bronze mechanical bird is perched on the chair's back. His brows are drawn down in a clear sign of annoyance.]

There. All right, this is Captain Marvelous, from the Pirate Sentai, Gokaiger. I'm kinda foggy on all the details here, but--

[He cuts off when the mechanical bird begins offering suggestions, and after shoving the bird off-screen, he turns back.]

Like I said, a little foggy on the details, but this is your only warning.

[A smile spreads over his face. It's not terribly comforting.]

If you've got treasure, good luck holding onto it.

[More shouting, ostensibly from the bird; the young man makes a series of clearly angry gestures at it before he speaks again.]

Dammit, Bird, I know.

So, my crew might be here! If you've seen 'em--Joe, Ahim, Luka, Gai, and the Doc, they're humans, they're trouble, they'll tell you they're mine if you ask--let me know so I can pick 'em up.

If you're my crew and you're sittin' around watchin' this--I've dropped anchor out behind whatever freakin' temple this is, Megatronus or whatever.

Anyway, onto important questions--there any meat around here?

Comments

[chatterbot]

There aren't any bounties here. Well, not yet. Probably not ever. There's probably a protocol against them, or there will be. And sorry, you're stuck with Cappy. [There there. Time heals all wounds.]

And I'm inside. But I'm guessing it's not the ceiling, since it's pretty not-red colored.

[showboater]

All the better for me.

And what do I get to call you? 'Annoying guy' is too long. [Or is it?]

No, moron, in the sky. I'm a space pirate, it's a spaceship. I'm sitting in it right now!

[Video feed switches on, showing the ground through a window from somewhere fairly high above ground.]

[chatterbot]

Swerve is probably way shorter than Annoying Guy, but it's not like you're the first to call me that. Except without the Guy part and with more of the Annoying. [He's so used to it it would almost be sad if he wasn't so annoyingly cavalier and cheerful.]

That was a joke, geez. What do you have against humor? Lemme get outside and see.

[He's going Pushy McPusherson. Wait, that makes him sound like a drug dealer. Tell you what. We'll come back to it.]

[showboater]

Swerve, huh? ...I think I like Annoying Guy better.

I've got nothing against jokes that're actually funny!

[Honestly it's pretty hard to miss.]

[chatterbot]

Might wanna abbreviate it to AG then. Way less time to say in a conversation. And my jokes are always funny. Just not for you right now because they're at your expense. It's okay. You'll get over it. Probably.

[Huh. Well. That sure is a ship.]

Well, guess I was wrong. That doesn't actually seem that big though. Is it a spacecraft or does it just sort of hover around? Why is it red? What do all the panels on top do? What's up with the symbol? What does it stand for?

[There isn't even any wind in space... What is going on with your ship, Cappy? C'mooooon. Shaaaare.]

[showboater]

Yeah, yeah, thanks for the advice, Annoying Guy.

I'll believe that when I see it.

[Damn right it's a ship.]

Doesn't seem that big? Maybe if you're used to giant robots.

It's a space ship. And a Megazord, but I'm not wasting the fuel to transform it on you. It's red because the original owner liked red--ahhh stop asking stupid questions, it's because it looks cool!

[Ugh.]

The emblem is for my crew.

[chatterbot]

No idea what a Megazord is, but if it transforms... Welcome to the club? Most of us have alt-modes here. Y'know, vehicle modes. Cars, planes, helicopters, boats, limbs, etcetera.

They're not all stupid questions. [He's gotta think for a minute because on one hand, as a former but still sorta current scientist (and because he's him), Swerve does wanna know how it works. But, y'know, emphasis on the former.]

Yeah, sure. Works for me.

[showboater]

I've got four other pieces in here. Megazord's the combination of the other ones. Not that I ever use 'em when I've got a perfectly good ship.

No, they're all stupid questions. [He's mostly just being a dick.]

Good to hear my perfectly good answer's satisfactory!

[chatterbot]

And yet I still have no idea what a Megazord is. So what is it? I mean it's gotta be big, at least for your species, otherwise it wouldn't be a mega anything. It'd just be a zord. Again, whatever that is.

[There there, Cappy. At least he isn't calling your ship stupid.]

[showboater]

It's just a fighting robot, nothing that complicated--I use it to fight giant bad guys. Zords're the smaller parts.

[Swerve definitely got bumped up from the Annoying Guy spot for that.]

[chatterbot]

So lemme see if I got this. Zords are small parts that make up a Megazord which that ship turns into, and the ship is a ship but it's also a Zord, and you've got the ship cause you're a pirate captain in what? Space? I guess that makes sense.

[Is that right? Did he win?]

[showboater]

Sounds about right!

[You won! But if you think you're getting a prize you're talking to the wrong guy.]

[chatterbot]

[But what about the InterUniversal Prize For Guessing Bullshit Protocol that I just made up right now?]

Awesome. But, uh, can you even pilot that thing by yourself, or did you have a bunch of people helping? How're you even gonna move it now?

[showboater]

[Marvelous doesn't believe in anything involving the word 'Protocol', but you're welcome to claim the prize if you want it!]

Of course I can, it's the bonus of being the Captain.




I have a crew, but they're not here. If they were I'd know by now.

[chatterbot]

Huh. Well, I guess that makes you like the rest of us then. I think we're still missing about a hundred and eighty-six of the crew we had on the Lost Light. Rough estimate. Now entirely sure how many mech I know are here.

[showboater]

Yeah, guess so. Hundred and eighty-six's a lot. There's only five of mine, but we saved the universe together, so we're close.

[chatterbot]

Like the entire universe? Okay. One: What kind of crazy adventures are you going on that actually threaten something that big?
And Two: Are you going to tell me about them, because that sounds like something I'd like to hear.

[showboater]

Like the entire universe, yeah.

It wasn't that big a deal. Fought an evil empire, destroyed a reality-warping treasure, ate some curry.

Might have some stories for you, if you really want'em.

[chatterbot]

One of those things is not like the other. Probably. I have no idea what a curry is. Most of the stuff I heard about humans was a bit second-hand. Well more than second-hand really. It got around.

Wouldn't ask if I didn't want to hear it in the first place.

[showboater]

's food. Place we went to when we first got to Earth got blown up by the Zangyack, we got lucky and it was rebuilt before we left.

All right, lemme try and break this down. I'm a pirate, right? But I'm a Gokaiger, too. Makes me a supersoldier, gives me the Megazord, all that stuff's part'a the package. We weren't the first, though, we were the 35th. And their powers all got lost to the far corners of the universe protecting Earth from the Zangyack invadin'. I wanted those powers, so I got 'em. Usin' 'em unlocked the Greatest Treasure in the Universe, which turned out to be a bunch'a crap, so we trashed it.

Basically the six of us beat down the Zangyack, met some old guys who used to be Sentai before us, and we were flying to the Zangyack homeworld when I found myself here.

I totally want to watch this now. A+ sum-up Marvelous

[chatterbot]

So what I'm getting here is the that these Zangyak are basically conquerors and you guys are supposed to stop them because that's just what being a... What'd you call it? Gokaiger? Sentai? Whatever It's what you guys do or something. So you were on your way to their planet to finish the job when you got dropped here?

Marvelous: king of understatements

[showboater]

Yeah, they basically had most of the universe under their collective nasty boot. Gokaiger are sentai, so both'a those're true...

Technically we were in port, but yeah. Crew was out gettin' supplies while I took a well-earned nap.

More like best statements

[chatterbot]

Man... Whole universe, huh? Musta been pretty busy guys.

[That earns a chuckle.] A well-deserved nap for the treasure hunting thing or were you prepping for the beatdown?

He's just not sure what the big deal about universe saving is!

[showboater]

Just lots of 'em. Once we drew 'em out it was like monkeys in a barrel.

Was driving all night. Somebody's gotta keep an eye on things, and I don't trust anybody else with the steering wheel, you know?

Someone should tell him about the Hubble Deep Field

[chatterbot]

So if it was just you and your crew against a lotta them, why didn't they go now earlier when people got sick-a them? Or is it more of the whole Gokaiger thing, like you guys were the only ones who could beat 'em, 'cos that'd make more sense. Not that anything makes sense all the time.

And don't you mean flying?