re_alignment | voice | trion's temple

Entry tags:

brave police: j-decker | kagerou

voice | trion's temple

[This isn't where he was supposed to be. He was on the roof just a second ago. Why... why is he in the temple now? It doesn't make any sense.]

[And then the feeling of loss sets in. Considering he can no longer recall the events leading up to, and including the fight with Overlord, he can only assume this loss is of memory itself. The most important thing he has...]

[... needless to say, when it finally occurs to him to grab the Link and make a call, he sounds utterly frantic.]

Someone -- please. I don't know what happened. I...

[He actually needs a moment to calm down enough to speak.]

... My memory is... there is something missing. I can feel -- I can feel it!

Please. Help.

[This is the most distressing thing in the world... at least until someone tells him he was dead a minute ago.]

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Someone else must know. I'm...just hoping that what I was told originally was wrong, somehow. I mean, you're here, and you're okay, so...

No. I'm not okay.

My memories... they're not coming back.

[Which means he's not okay at all, in his mind.]

But...it's not all your memories, right..? You...you can still remember things from the past, right?

Yes... I. Yes.

But it's not... it's not as simple as that. My memories -- they're all I have of myself. Losing any of them... is losing a piece of me.

...I know what you mean.

I... Well there's a lot I can't remember, myself. Not from here, but...back where I came from. I don't even know for sure where I came from before that.

You... had your memories deleted?

I don't know. I'm not sure what happened. Aqua and Terra- my friends back home, they said that when I was brought to the Land of Departure, I didn't do much of anything, and it took me a while before I even really reacted to anything or anyone.

You... had no memories at all? Not one?

[Because that's what he imagines it would be like, to be deleted. Completely unresponsive to the world around you.]

[He shakes his head.]

[From the look on his face, you'd think Ventus told him his parents were brutally murdered in front of him, instead of... he had amnesia.]

I...

I'm sorry.

[Ventus looks up at Kagerou again.]

I can't remember what happened, but I remember the time I spent with my friends, and I don't know if I would have ever snapped out of it without them.

I don't worry too much about whatever happened in the past, because I know I have people looking out for me and who care for me now.

...and sometimes I wonder if it's better that way...

You... think it's better, not to remember some part of yourself like that?

I'm not sure. I'm kind of scared to know...

[Because what could have left him in such a state? Surely nothing good...]

Scared? Why are you scared?

[How could anyone not want to remember...?]

Well... I don't know what happened, why I was left like that. That just...doesn't happen to people all the time, does it?

I... I don't know, Ventus.

I don't know how human memories work. I just know they aren't data. They're not like mine.

I guess that's fair enough. I'm not really sure how data works either, but I figure that it's like memories.

...so I guess I've already lost a part of me. It might still be there, but... [He shakes his head.] I don't want it to change the memories that I have now. These memories are who I am, so as long as I don't forget them, I think I don't mind not knowing the things from before.

It is. For me, it is.

... You're really all right with that? With... losing who you were?

Putting it that way makes it sound really serious, but... I don't think I've completely lost myself. I'd like to think that how I am now reflects something of who I would be even if I'd never forgotten those things that have happened before.

I think it would be serious. I... for me it would be.

You're human. It's different for you. My personality, my self... it's who I am because of what I remember. And I... can't lose that.

Is that how data works...?

So if it's gone, then...that's it? [He can see why that would be a scary thing.]

... yes.

If my data is erased... it's gone. I can't ever be recovered.

That's...that's terrible...

That's my reality. That's why I can't... stand to lose even one memory.

[Ventus can certainly understand a lot better now. He rests a hand upon one of Kagerou's fingers.]

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