[Transmitting from the junkpile as usual]

[dirge]

So many mechs dieing around here. It feels like home. [He sighs wistfully.]

Speaking of dieing- I have a question. I want to know about sparkeaters. Someone mentioned there might be others around here who know about them. I'm very interested.

Comments

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

Wait.

You's talkin' like... somethin' that actually eats sparks? That's fraggin' crazy!

I wanna see one so bad.

Re: [video]

[dirge]

[Frown] What's so crazy about it?

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

Nothin'. Ain't absolutely nothin' wrong wit' people eating each others sparks. PERFECTLY SANE. [knocks on his head]

Re: [video]

[dirge]

[Folds his arms] I honestly don't see the problem with it. A spark is a hard enough thing to get someone to part with- what's wrong with enjoying it?

Especially if it'll help me like I think it might. [Taps his chin thoughtfully]

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

[laughs] Man, yer... kinda not all there, are ya, bigface? [smirks] But, 'ey, dat ain't so bad. If yer thinkin' of eatin' some sparks, psycho, I can rec'mend a few guys who probably taste dee-licious.

Re: [video]

[dirge]

Of course I'm not. I'm a clone. Being incomplete is an unfortunate side effect.

[His wings perk up] Really? Do tell!

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

Clone? Aw, right. I remember you blabbin' 'bout that or other. Ha! Sucks fer you, though, donit?

Well, first off, I hear Autobot sparks are reaaaaaaally tasty. I knew a mech who knew a mech who ate one an' said it wuz the best thing he ever ate! True story! They can also increase energy an' life an' I dunno make ya sparkle in sunlight for all I fraggin' know. But you should definitely hunt yerself down some Autobutts an' feast away!

Also, maybe Starscream. Bet it tastes rotten, but ya never know. I mean, who'm I to judge? [coy shit-eating little smile]

Re: [video]

[dirge]

I'm working on fixing it! [Little jerk.]

Autobots, eh? Eating their sparks can really do all that for me? [Okay, he is super interested now.] I knew they were useful for something!

[His wing go flat at the mention of Starscream.] My template is not here. And besides, he no longer possessed a spark either.

But... [And he looks thoughtful now] ...perhaps another Starscream would do the trick? They aren't all that different from what I've seen.

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

Oh, yeaaah. Def-netly. You can take my word fer it. [grin] I hear the sparks taste better when ya rough 'em up a li'l bit before ya eat 'em, though. So make sure ya beat up them Autobots real good before ya tear 'em open! The spark tastes sweeter if it's scared an' in pain, too. Juuuuus' an f- y - i an' all.

Yea! All Starscreams are da same. Obnoxious, annoyin', loudmouthed, stupid glitches.

Re: [video]

[dirge]

[Dirge whips out a slightly damaged datapad and starts taking notes with a talon.]

Hmm... yes... rough them up. Scared and in pain. Got it.

[He smiles wide and saves the document.] It's worth a try then, don't you think? Starscreams are notoriously hard to kill though.

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

Heya, post videos of you takin' 'em out fer us all t'watch, too, okay?

Primus, I hear ya. Jus' when y'think the glitch is gonna git his head blasted off his fraggin' no-good shoulders, he just bounces right back up an' frags everyone off. Y'know what, go fer him first, then the Autobots, okay?

Re: [video]

[dirge]

I don't think so. That wouldn't be very sneaky of me, would it? If word gets around I'm sure I'll be in big trouble. [Nice try, Frenzy.]

Good idea. He is the most likely to complete my programming, after all.

...Now I just have to find one.

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

Fraggin' film 'em, at least! You can show 'em to only a few people, how 'bout that? Pit, just me if ya wanna. [slooow grin] I'll give ya somethin' in return. [LIKE YOU CAN TURN ANYTHING DOWN.]

Dat shouldn't be too hard. He's always out flauntin' his scrap. Jus' yell at 'im over da link an' he'll answer, 'cause he likes da attention.

Re: [video]

[dirge]

...I suppose I could. To keep for future posterity. And you'll give me something? [His optics light up] Even better!

That's true! Its just like dealing with Thundercracker.

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

Yup! I'll give ya somethin' really nice an' shiny an' cool an' whatever.

Ehhh. Thundercracker here ain't so bad, I guess.

Re: [video]

[dirge]

Deal!

He's here? Why hasn't he posted over the link how superior he is yet?

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

Wha'? Why would he go an' do dat? Dat's more Screamer's thing. T.C. ain't done nuttin' like dat, prolly 'cause he knows he ain't scrap.

Re: [video]

[dirge]

Of course it's more Starscream's thing- but that's where he got it from. He's the ego, after all.

What? He'd never ever think of himself as anything less then perfect!

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

Primus, yer all fraggin' weirdos.

Maybe in yer universe, yea, but the TC here ain't like dat.

I'd probably shoot yer TC in the mouth if I ever saw 'im.

Re: [video]

[dirge]

Ergh... shots to the mouth hurt. A lot.

[The last time he'd had to have his internals completely remade.]

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

Aw, really? How 'bout I shoot ya in da mouf an' then ya tell me how da pain feels an' stuff!

Re: [video]

[dirge]

Why? I just said it was painful.

But I suppose I wouldn't object if you'd like to climb in anyway. [Grin]

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

[Frenzy makes a gesture with his hand sweeping over the top of his head. Dirge probably doesn't understand what this means either.] Yer rea--

[...]

You tellin' me t'... climb... in yer mouth?

[HORRIFIED EXPRESSION] Ew, wat da frag, man!? Yer more damaged than I thought! Ugh, dat's gross!

Re: [video]

[dirge]

Oh, please. Don't you usually live in someone's chest? What's the difference?

[video]

[rednotbluethx]

There is a huge diff'rence!

Holy frag, ya nutcase!