re_alignment | [Video] this is probably what caused the death of the Disco Medallion

[Whirl has decided to give you lowly creatures a demonstration, since Megatronus's quadrant is currently sprouting a healthy crop of Multipedes of Squickiness. It is high time you all got to see a real Wrecker at work. So he's set up a camera, his face popping in to check the angle, before he jumps down to what he has dubbed Carnage Central. He's ready for his close up--wearing that awesome clock-necklace he got for that stupid human holiday. It looks, obviously, AWESOME. ]

Awright. Pay attention, pansies. Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.

[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]

[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]

We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness. Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.

You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite. Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.] Brain the size of a graphing calculator.

The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!

[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]

CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!

((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))

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[Okay, aim for the legs. How hard could that be? Sure his target is moving, but he's dealt with plenty of moving targets in the past. He can do this.]

I'm going to die...

[Horribly, with scratched up paint, and then his body will be eaten by this thing. Whirl might get away or maybe he'll be eaten as well. Point is, he's going to die trying to save Whirl.

Well. He could think of worse ways to go out.

He flips his swords in his hands a few times, trying to focus, and finally lunges at the monster. Aim for the feet. Just. Aim for the feet like Whirl said.]

No fraggin' way. These things are too lame to take you out.

[To lame to take him out, too, but they're at least gonna put on a show.]

[Whirl will try to provide cover fire. As best he can getting whipped up and down.]

I think you're overestimating my abilities.

[Or he was just underestimating himself.

But he has covering fire, that's good. Or it'll just hit him instead and he'll die. Higher chances for the later.

But he's still going for the legs, at least one of them anyway, jumping up and doing his best to stab one of his swords into one, and then the other. Look Whirl, he's doing this!]

You tryin' to tell me your own badaft Decepticon team couldn't take you out but you're afraid of these guys?

[Confidence: Whirl will beat it into you.]

[As soon as he finishes beating the scrap out of this thing. Which rears up, screeching at the sudden pain in one of its feet, and Whirl falls, unsnagged at last, heading straight down on top of Dead End.]

((ooc: not godmoding, feel free to have him dodge out of the way with his Awesome (tm) reflexes))

I'm not afraid... Just I know how life is.

[Which is to say it's hated him for a long time and death is coming, he can sense it. Or maybe he's just getting hungry.

Dead End gives his swords a twist when the thing moves far more than he'd wanted, swords popping loose and... Whirl colliding into him. ~~Dodging is for people who don't like to smile!~~

That could have gone better, but at least Whirl was free. They'd probably be eaten in one bite. Probably.]

Ow.

Then you need to learn to kick life in the aft.

[Preferably when it wasn't looking.]

[Oof. Dead End you are not comfy.]

That is the worst war cry ever, Dead End. Gotta work on that.

That doesn't work.

[Not that he's actually tried it, but he can't see it working all that well. It being life and all.

He squirms under Whirl, giving the other mech a push. You aren't that comfy either.]

We should move before it eats us...

[Preferably before then.]

And I don't have a war cry.

Sure does. Living fraggin' proof right here.

[He means him, not the rearing up, screeching terrorpede.]

Eh, I was thinking let it eat us and then shoot our way out.

Be fraggin' EPIC.

You'll have to teach me.

[Later. When they aren't about to be killed horribly. Even if it won't work.]

Wh- Let it?! What if it chews?!

[Video] this is probably what caused the death of the Disco Medallion

[it's incredibly distracting]

[whirl knows it's why he avoids mirrors bc otherwise he'd distract himself]

[deads will get him a small portable mirror for valentines. to prove how sexy he is to others]

[then whirl will swoon at his own hotness]

[that would make him extra hot]

[you could barbecue things on him then]

[whirl you're just so giving]

[of asswhuppin's. You bet!]

[yes that too. all the kinds of giving]