Whirl (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
whirlybird_of_prey) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
re_alignment2013-01-20 11:40 am
whirlybird_of_prey) wrote in re_alignment2013-01-20 11:40 am
Entry tags:
[Video] this is probably what caused the death of the Disco Medallion
[Whirl has decided to give you lowly creatures a demonstration, since Megatronus's quadrant is currently sprouting a healthy crop of Multipedes of Squickiness. It is high time you all got to see a real Wrecker at work. So he's set up a camera, his face popping in to check the angle, before he jumps down to what he has dubbed Carnage Central. He's ready for his close up--wearing that awesome clock-necklace he got for that stupid human holiday. It looks, obviously, AWESOME. ]
Awright. Pay attention, pansies. Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.
[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]
[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]
We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness. Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.
You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite. Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.] Brain the size of a graphing calculator.
The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!
[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]
CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!
((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))
Awright. Pay attention, pansies. Whirl's gonna show you losers how a real Wrecker gets it done.
[How it's done looks pretty much like a blur of violence and mayhem. Critter heads flying everywhere, gouts of disgusting bodily fluids, slimy organs everywhere. It's a gore party and Whirl's making the confetti.]
[What's worse is probably his terrible David Attenborough impersonation narration.]
We see, in its native habitat, a creature of superlative unworthiness. Uh that's not me, wussbuckets, for the record.
You'll note how, in their short but violent existence, they have the cerebral functioning of a coprolite. Cuz look at this. [He holds up a metallic chunk of something between his claws.] Brain the size of a graphing calculator.
The creatures are mindless, hapless victims of slaughter when they wander against a superior being. That IS meeeeeeeee---!!!
[Unfortunately, Whirl's super-unvincibility is put to the test, as the terrorpede he's trying to kill, in super slo mo 300 style, suddenly catches the chain of his super awesome clocklace in its mandible. Whirl now finds himself unawesomely being flung around by the rearing, snapping creature. ]
CUT! CUUUUUUT!!!!!
((ooc: you can help or mock and if you're NPCing his mauling, HIS BODY IS READY))
[Voice for now][Action]
[He pushes down on the accelerator.]
Obviously, you need at least a witness.
[Voice for now][Action]
After they win.
You just want to horn in on my awesome.
[Voice for now][Action]
[And he's there! And...hm. That is more than enough danger, but as a member of the Brave Police he's contractually obligated to dive in.]
No.
I think you should keep hold of your awesome. I'm merely here as part of my duty.
[And his new rifle is going to come off of his shoulder, aiming towards Whirl and the necklace that he's caught by.]
[Action]
[Sheesh. Everyone's a critic.]
[Whirl is the worst target--what with the flailing and kicking and all that. Don't you damage the clocklace!!]
[Action]
[This is going to be difficult.]
Whirl.
I want you to hold still when I reach the count of zero.
Three.
Two.
One...
[Action]
[Just as McCrane counts down, Whirl says, ]
If you frag up, take care of Splat!
Out of GUILT!
[Action]
[His aim stays steady--this is one of the few things he knows that he can do, and damn everything he is going to finally be a good police officer and help somebody.]
ZERO.
[His finger's on that trigger Whirl--how's this gonna be?]
[Action]
[But for the record, he totally had this.]
[Action]
[The shot goes off, first with the piercing echo of an actual projectile travelling with explosive force down a long barrel--and then with the audible 'tink' of said projectile hitting someone's precious clocklace chain and damaging the structural integrity of the link.]
[It snaps.]
[He doesn't give the rifle any cooldown, however, before firing again, aiming to keep the monster distracted enough for Whirl to land and get out of the way if necessary.]
It's all yours, now.
[Action]
[McCrane should feel lucky that Whirl allowed him this opportunity to showcase his Mad Shootin' Skillz. That's right, earth-robit, be honored!]
My awesome bliiiiiiiinng!
[Whirl falls, face first, after his falling necklace. Don't worry. His face can take it.]
[Action]
[He can't get under you in time to catch you, but he does pause to reflexively reach out...wincing when you hit the ground.]
Death is harder to repair.
[Its not a good one-liner, but it helps that he's entirely sincere when he says it, especially when it's punctuated by another shot at a tentacle that's reaching for you.]